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15 Things the Military Makes You Do (That No One Warns You About)

David Pere

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The military is full of things nobody mentions at the recruiter's office. Field day, where you tear your entire room apart every Thursday night so it can pass a white-glove inspection. The surprise 5:30 AM text that means you're about to get watched while you pee. The 24-hour duty where they won't even let you read a book. None of it makes the brochure.

In this one I'm walking through 15 things you'll absolutely experience in the service and never see coming, from mandatory fun days to gear inspections to the legendary art of Gunny time, where being 15 minutes early somehow means you're late. I did 13 years active in the Marine Corps, two in the reserves, and three of those as a recruiter, so I've lived every one of these. Veterans, you've been warned, the flashbacks start at field day.

Veterans, drop the one I missed in the comments. The best ones go in the next list.

0:00 15 things nobody warns you about

0:17 Field day

1:49 Health and comfort inspections

3:06 Mandatory fun days

4:36 Uniform inspections

5:20 Gear inspections

6:44 CIF turn-in

9:04 Liberty briefs

10:56 Holiday vehicle inspections

13:02 24-hour duty

14:28 Gunny time

15:54 Medical hit list

16:46 The urinalysis list

18:38 Change of command ceremonies

19:14 Dog and pony shows

20:03 Battalion moto runs

#Military #Veterans #MilitaryLife #BootCamp

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20 Comments

@weatherboi 3 months ago

I like that quote "If you're early, you're on time, if you're on time, you're late". Good rule to live by.

@AbbyNormL 3 months ago

We had random drug tests on the submarine controlled by the E-6 corpsman. While entering the base at Pearl Harbor, the corpsman and his wife were arrested for possession of drugs with intent to distribute. Pretty nice to be in charge of piss tests while doing drugs yourself.

@0expletivedeleted0 3 months ago

In the Navy the worst was the dreaded Sea Bag Inspection. Every uniform inspected and folded properly. 25 pounds of crap in a 5 pound bag.

@paulwilson8672 3 months ago

Go out and have fun this weekend. That does not include getting drunk, getting in a fight, getting arrested, ending up in the hospital or anything else that could cause to be in front of the First Sergeant in the morning.

@skylersolvang3203 2 weeks ago (edited)

Army Cav vet here, and we did have a mandatory fun day where our command bought us all tickets to go race go-carts and drink one day. That was legitimately a great time. Most of the time it’s some mindless activities, but that one was the best for sure!

*Don’t add or subtract from the population was a normal one on Fridays

@Michael-oy3pz 3 months ago

Ex Australian grunt here and it was a culture shock and an eye opener especially for the guys n girls who had never been away from home before but still had a lot of fun and made friends for life 🇦🇺👍

@KeNost82 2 weeks ago

In boot camp we stayed in a 6 man room and for our last and final inspection before out processing, my room was tasked with cleaning the big ass shower in addition to our room. I cleaned the room while the others cleaned the shower. Our lieutenant did the inspection and my heart raced like hell when he took out the white gloves and all of the sudden he threw himself under the bunk beds in one end, with a clear look of panic on my room mates. When he came out the other end and stod up, he inspected the glove for 20 seconds and simply said to him self in a low and calm voice “good, very good” and simply left. I have never been so relieved and happy in my life.

@EchoTangoSuitcase 3 months ago

I had my drill sergeant find my stash of magazines. I could tell he thought he was about to whip out a Playboy or something, and all the other DSs though that was about to happen to.

Drill Sgt Morris yanked it out of the bottom of my drawer, and held it up to my face, so I and all the other DSs could see it. And then he saw their faces, and the crushing disappointment. He flipped that rag around and found himself staring right into the shiny chrome birdcatcher on Rick Dobbertin's Pro Street 1965 Chevy Nova SS.

He was so let down that he didn't yell at me, he didn't even look at me. He just dropped it on my bed and walked away without a word.

@Chris-ut6eq 3 months ago

Anyone remember events that were completely voluntary but the CO expected 100percent participation?

@fredfolson5355 2 weeks ago

I was an officer [Mustang] during the second half of my career and I would take my Marines to Six Flags Magic Mountain for mandatory fun days on my birthday every year. It was amazing to see the number of combat veterans who would excel under fire in comabt, but would NOT step foot onto a roller coaster [Goliath to be precise]. Those were fun times.

@jo.fo.sho1 3 months ago

I once brought a sewing machine to duty and made a quilt for a pregnant marine 14:00

@rickyism1576 3 months ago

Taking a shit looking eye to eye from another person taking a shit. That was a life changer.

@jasonbrown3925 3 months ago

Libo briefs in the San Diego area always included 'Don't go to TJ!"

@qrowbranwen1864 3 months ago

10:42 Don't add to the population, don't subtract from the population. Don't end up in the hospital, newspaper, or jail. If you end up in jail, establish dominance quickly. And, for the love of God, if you're gonna do something stupid, call someone

@Saynt_J 3 months ago

My 1Sgt would always say “If you drink, don’t park… accidents cause people.”

@richj120952 3 months ago

Marine inspection. My first experience was from my Marine Captain Brother-in-law, when I was 12 years old and at home alone while my parents were on a mini vacation. He decided to "inspect" the house. The house was exactly as my mother kept it, but I got reamed out for it, and forced to clean it to his "standard". (I instantly hated my Brother-in-law.) Now on uniform inspections for base event. (Not 12, but 19.) I was in my Navy dress whites. Shoes fully shined (not corfams, but actually shined) I was fully squared away, but got called out because I did not have a National Defense ribbon/bar on. I was not awarded it, nor did I qualify to be awarded it. I was Reserve, and in active duty for training, not active duty. The first class PO reamed me out for not having it on. I of course told him I did not qualify for one, and could not legally wear one. I got on report, and sent out to my Company Commander for discipline. I explained to my Company Commander that I could not wear it as I was Reserve, active duty for training and did not have the award to do so. I had to stand at attention while he checked. The report was dismissed, and I was dismissed from the event entirely.

@jayffemt 1 day ago

Army vet here. We went out for PT formation and the MPs showed up with the dogs to do an inspection. They did a few rooms and then came out all pissed off because the dog had found someone's leftover pizza, ate it, and decided that he got his reward for the day and wouldn't sniff for anything else. They actually accused us of sabotaging their dog.

@beard78748 3 months ago

Did most of these in the Coast Guard. Never had to do a sea bag inspection. If you forgot something everyone would give you shit.
Had a guy on the boat that just got out of isolated duty. For a year he was on this island with 22 other Coasties. Since he was 21 we took him out to the bar. Well the two guys that were supposed to make sure he made it back to the boat left him.
He was drunk and thought it would be a good idea to have some cocaine with a stripper.
He did not show up until 11 (supposed to be there at 0530).
He admitted what he did to the XO so he was kicked out with a General Discharge instead of a dishonorable.
Over half the boat got drug tested. Two ensigns watched people pee for 5 hours.

@samz.3597 3 months ago (edited)

So many of these don't really apply to the Air Force 😂 actually most don't

@ethanturner2980 7 days ago

I use the "If your early, You're on time, If you're on time, you're late, and if you're late then that is unacceptable" Never was in the military but when I was younger I had a scout leader who was in the army