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7 Simple Things People With Dementia Can No Longer Do

Dr. Camille Sinclair

22,585 views

If your loved one with dementia can do something one day, but seems completely unable to do it the next, it can be incredibly confusing.

You may find yourself thinking: “But I KNOW they can do this. They did it yesterday!”
One of the hardest things to understand about dementia is that an ability can still be present without being reliably accessible.

In this video, I explain 7 things a person with dementia may no longer be able to do consistently, even when it looks like they can, including:

• Use logic to change what feels true
• Remember something simply because you told them
• Follow several steps at once
• Start a task even when they know it needs to be done
• See a situation from your perspective
• Control their emotions once overwhelmed
• Perform an ability consistently from one day, or even one moment, to the next

You’ll also learn why someone with dementia can appear completely capable in one situation and struggle with the exact same ability later.

Understanding this distinction can change the way you respond to repetition, resistance, accusations, emotional outbursts, difficulty completing everyday tasks, and those confusing “good days and bad days.”

Because sometimes what looks like “won’t” is actually “can’t.”
I’m Dr. Camille Sinclair, a neuropsychologist and dementia care specialist. I help family caregivers understand what a changing brain can, and can no longer, reliably do.

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DISCLAIMER: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor or your loved one's doctor.
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#dementia #dementiacaregiver #alzheimers #caregiving #dementiacare

20 Comments

@Bonami21 22 hours ago

This video is so spot on! I am the sole caregiver to my 93 year old father with dementia. I can feel pretty alone in an endless cycle of repeated conversations and routines. Like in the movie Groundhog Day. But your help and support gets me through another day. Thank you.

@CherylGoodwin-o2g 1 day ago

Thank you! I've spent hours every morning and evening doing research, so I can help my husband of 61 years to the very best of my ability....however, the reads, the videos, the doctor visits, the specialists, have all fallen short. Thank you. You have helped and made more sense than all the others the last three years.

@Bennee73 1 day ago

This is the most important video!!!!

@chloeruegg2352 1 day ago

Dr Sinclair, this is one of the most comprehensive videos I’ve watched and wish every caregiver could watch. I’ve been my husband’s caregiver for 2 years now and his strength vs. his struggles change but continues on. My patience always gets tested when I tell him I have so much work to do (everything is on my shoulders, but you know that) and he’ll respond with, “You have nothing to do.” I no longer let it get to me. I walk away and do whatever it is that takes me away from the room he’s sitting in. And that’s the big problem. He wants me to be with him all the time. I understand that he’s scared, afraid to be alone and that’s part of his dementia. An ER doctor after examining my husband said, “This is like living with a toddler for you.” I keep that perspective in mind all the time. Many thanks for this great video.

@Colemama3 1 day ago

So very helpful. I appreciate that you not only explain the issues, but offer a "what to do instead."

@vylondaderricott 1 day ago

What about if they are in complete denial about their dementia?? This is so informative. It seems like we have tried everything you've said, and yes, we are exhausted!! 😢

@flomurphy4899 1 day ago

I'm getting exasperated just listening ...😔

@RickCosta 1 day ago

If I had a dollar for every time my Mom said I don't do anything for her (and of course I do EVERYTHING for her...literally) I'd have money to pay bills! LOL. I've learned to just focus on the "what do you need right now at this moment to help you" and it makes life easier.

@trishferrer8209 9 hours ago

Eight minutes into this video, and it sounds like adhd, but on a whole new level. 🥺

@sheilaowens1513 1 day ago

Your explanations are so helpful and spot on of our life’s journey with my husband’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis.

@user-jq2vq9tq3w 1 day ago

He can buckle the car seat belt with ease at times but will be completely unable at other. Tries to connect it to the drivers side connection, or twisting the strap so many different ways that it takes me a minute to untangle it, or tries to insert it into the small slots where the push-release mechanism is. This is a roller coaster ride that is full of unexpected deep drops.
Thank You for the many explanations. You present them in ways that I can understand.

@trishferrer8209 8 hours ago

I have never heard dementia like this. Thank you so much!

@cccat8548 20 hours ago

My grandmother once send me 500 Euro out of nowhere. Years before I needed some money urgently and has asked her for help. She must have written that down somewhere and found the note again years later... and thought I needed it at that point😢

@spinstercatlady 1 day ago

This past week my grandmother discovered $3k she had hidden in an old address book ages ago. I very kindly and calmly asked her if we could safely lock it up in the safe. No. I then basically begged her to let me know where she was hiding it so we'd both know where it was in case of an emergency (really bc I knew she'd forget where it was). No. Fast forward a week later, and the money is GONE. Have been over every inch of her rooms and nothing. It's possible she packed the entire $3k out and lost it the ONE time she's been out of the house (tho not probable). We desperately needed some of that for her share of the property taxes that have doubled. Every week is like a living nightmare of anxiety about what will end up lost or destroyed next 💔

@JISA68 12 hours ago

The explanation about initiating tasks is really helpful! I no longer lose my patience with my Mom when she doesn't do simple things like wash her dishes. This used to drive me crazy, but knowing she just can't initiate it clears things up. Thank you!!

@annarebecca3384 1 day ago (edited)

My loved one forgets what I said as soon as I say it. I had to watch her when her husband had day surgery recently. I wrote a big note about what was happening and put it on the table in front of her. I would just point to the note when she kept asking "where are we". It helped.

@karenmccracken 1 day ago

I keep feeling as if everything is ok and then today my husband took a call from someone asking for our account numbers and he gave them all our debit, credit, and banking info over the phone along with the security codes and passwords because he believed they were helping him with keeping someone from taking our money. Thankfully I heard the call and went to check on what was going on. It'll be ok. I got to it fast enough but it's a mess. All new accounts and all that goes with it have to be set up. He's so upset at himself now that he's spiraling. He feels stupid and worthless now in an instant. My heart is breaking. It's not his fault. While I'm in "make him feel better" mode, I'm now scared. Never would he ever have done this before. This diagnosis seems too real now and I hate this.

@deannwalker4400 1 day ago

Making a sandwich is easy one day, then impossible the next. Also, getting ice from the fridge door.

@melindaaldrian9855 1 day ago

Really great information. Numbers 5&6 spoke to me.

@carinalundstrom9870 1 day ago (edited)

My mom has lived by her calendar her whole life. Now she cannot understand the layout of the present week, in what order the days are, what the numbers mean. If we write "fysio therapy" on Thursday she goes to the clinic on Friday. A day without appointments makes her think I forgot to write something down and she is upset that entire day. So now we've started writing " no activity today" on empty days.