I am a psychiatrist and I have learned the most from you on personality disorders!!!....the conundrum of NPD and BPD has been clarified by you and you only. I wait for your videos and watch and listen many times over to really get the concepts you explain you lucidly. I cannot imagine leaving in the first 5 minutes. thank you prof Vaknin....thank you for being such a good teacher and that too for free. I am eternally grateful.

Exactly! "ALL of my (girlfriends, boyfriends, whatever) were abusive." The only common denominator in the narcissist's string of victimhood stories is themselves.

One of the most fascinating aspects I observed in a (presumed) narcissist was utter indignation at someone doing  to him what he'd done repeatedly to others (stealing, scamming, destroying property, not paying him back etc). It was as if those events had occurred in a vacuum, to an outraged innocent person.

The endless lists of adverbs and adjectives are my favourite parts of your videos.

I have never seen this, you keep on changing my views

Along the vein of online "empath" communities that are toxic, I had a video show up in my feed the other day that was giving men relationship advice. The title was "Never give ANY woman validation if you want her to stay". I watched the whole thing and read the comments people left and I got to be honest, it really bothered me for days. The guy was basically giving advice on how to hurt someones confidence to make them compliant. The majority of the men in the comments were buying into it as they were seeking guidance because they were suffering from their own relationship traumas but instead of trying to heal from them, they were being told to hold others solely accountable for their pain. There was one commenter that made me tear up because he sounded defeated about not being able to cuddle, hold hands or tell the girl he loves how amazing he thinks she is because that was completely opposite from the "advice" being given. At the end of his comment he said "what would be the point of having a girlfriend then?"

I had a keyboard warrior moment and left a comment saying "This guy in a tight tank top with his muscles on full display is giving advice on how to erode another human being's self worth. This is NO DIFFERENT than a fully made up e-girl in a push up bra giving advice on how to manipulate a mans emotions to get what they want from him." It was deleted.

Sorry if this is too off topic but I have no one to talk about this with really. I guess the reason I'm sharing this is I don't understand why this experience bothered me so much. Why it still does. As dumb as it sounds, it kind of traumatized me a little to where I had to avoid the internet the next day. Why did I cry reading that defeated comment? Why did I feel so compelled to say something and is what I said illogical? I just want to understand why so I can fix myself. Sorry again. I hope you all have a good day.

The more I watch these, the more I see some of these patterns in me, and in so many others around me. But I never sees myself as a victim, or self pity, and hates people who plays the victim card.

You always give us more than we expect ,and leave us waiting for even more, good job Sam💯.

A covert will pretend to self reflect but when you ask them “how did it feel to be with a narcissist?” They CAN NOT explain the emotions. I agree with all of this. They will pretend to know, but no lessons from the relationship

THANK YOU SAM VAKNIN! EVER SINCE I STARTED WATCHING AND LEARNING THROUGH WATCHING 50 60 70 OF YOUR VIDEOS DO I NOW HAVE AN IN DEPTH UNDERSTANDING OF NARCISSISM AND MY CURRENT SITUATION.  YOU SAVED MY LIFE!!!   THIS VIDEO IS ANOTHER REASON WHY YOU ARE A BLESSED SOUL FOR WHAT YOU DO AND FOR THE COUNTLESS LIVES YOU HAVE EDUCATED. GOD BLESS YOU!!!

Dude! This is totally spot on! It totally describes my alcoholism! You could’ve hooked me to a lie detector and I’d have passed with flying colors! Some kind and honest people helped me to see differently…. those questions you asked at the very end of this talk need to be asked of the person in the MIRROR! The inventory is OURS, not the other fellows! Freedom from the bondage of self…. that narcissistic core is pervasive in alcoholics! At least this one! Thank you for this fabulous talk! Victimhood is en vogue these days, unfortunately… And I love that you noticed that it’s actually become a competitive sport!

Thank you, I've been calling myself the narcissistic person, because I'm the one causing the behaviours... I have watched YouTube videos that tell me I'm wrong and I have followed their advice on how to keep him in the relationship... I feel like a total fool, I have sold my soul to someone who doesn't even know what it is like to have one themselves!

Haha. You have such good humor. No breaking anyone’s hearts. It’s such a fine line. Sharing facts can sound like victimization. And I think it can be a little bit of both. I took accountability for my areas that needed work. But the husband that walked out and cheated only cared about how he felt and bever took accountability for his part in it.

Prof., I can't thank you enough for your teachings.  ❤

Once splitting occurs, the other attributes follow in chaotic order. i commend you for your courage to see your self and so eloquently reveal these paths of consciousness, unconscious though they may seem.

This type of video is invaluable to the layman. 👏 I didn’t have to go and look up one word. Sometimes a lot of things are ‘over my head’, while I’m still being able to get the gist(maybe).

Thank you. I know one who seemed introspective on drugs for a few hours; the next day he would switch back to autopilot, as if no conversation had taken place. His views were completely static. It was bizarre. Indeed like a number of records (one for every mood) being played for years, instead of engaging with people in real time and evolving. My "favourite" moment of denial was this person telling eye witnesses (to their faces and with full conviction) that they hadn't seen what they'd seen.

Practical and insightful! I'll never be caught by a narcissist. Thank you very much

Professor, thank you so much. I have found so much information in your presentations. I’m BPD I’m in a relationship with a narcissist I find us both to be victims so when you say who’s the victim and who is the narcissist because the narcissist is being himself I’m being triggered now I’m victimizing the narcissist, so I think that We are both victims and we perpetuate the cycle of abuse. Thank you so much your work is invaluable.

That's why when they finally get a reaction from you they have everyone believe that they are the victim.