"incredible, someone with a mortgage wrote that" is actually such a banger insult ngl

As someone who commissions a lot of art of his characters, people who try and coerce artists to give them free art piss me off. Artists are trying their best to make a living off a craft that takes a LOT work, and people do all sorts of things to try and devalue that hard work for a freebie.

I half expected the Pick-Me Girl's relationship with the BBEG to end like this
Sorceress: "That's horrible! Your plan is horrible!! You're horrible!!! You're an irredeemable monster!!!!"
BBEG: "Oh, oh! What took you so long? Idiot!!" Backhands

The lesson from Crispy's confusion over the word "canoodling" is that old timey slang for sex can sneak pass the asexual filter in a way that doesn't cause crispy.exe to stop working. Other words this should be further tested with are "hanky panky" and "making whoopee."

DM: You didn’t turn in your character sheet. Sorry, it’s too late, you can’t play this evening.
That Guy: So anyways, I started blasting.

Forgetting to eat before a D&D session.  Oof.

"I am going to start Raging"
"You're not playing a Barbarian."
"Not my character. Me. I'm hangry!"

One exception to "make your character beforehand" (and personally I think this should be standard to avoid cheating) is if part of Session 0 is making your characters together.

The 2nd story, the guy who waited until the last minute to make a sheet, that's a "that guy" strategy to cheat on their sheet. Basically, they make the sheet absolute last minute so you skip the review step because they gave it to you while you were distracted. I had a player who did this EVERY TIME.

"When our bodies forget that we're supposed to be on the same team."
That has to be the best way I've ever heard that phrased.

Shoutout to Roy for dropping 2 solid "no"s to a pickme and leaving with no further comment. Chad move right there.

That whole "the players should be the strongest force" mentality is never gonna fly with me.  It's one of the reasons I don't use npc classes for npcs, only player classes.  Once you start down the road of player characters being the strongest beings every story becomes a "You're the chosen ones" thing and it's lame.  I know this is a controversial take, once I got into a long argument about how many characters in a given country would be level 20 and I said hundreds, which made the person I was talking with gasp.  They thought outside the party there should be none.  All I'm gonna say is choose your words carefully if you wanna get cute with the local wizard or army commander in my campaigns, lol

Pay your artists people. I've been lucky enough that I haven't had an abhorrently bad experiences in my career but god I hear about so much. I cry and beg into the universe. Respect your artists and people who are knowledgeable in their feilds

12:46

Careful with not inviting Strahd to a party in Barovia, Tea Cakes. HIS hissyfits can actually do damage.

Third story: this gave me such PTSD and anger in the beginning. STG if I ever get contacted by another person convinced that their shitty game idea is the absolute best in the world that's gonna hit big on Kickstarter and wants free art for it "for future profit" I'm gonna punt them into the stratosphere. I work as a professional illustrator and concept artist myself and these types of people are the absolute WORST.

I have actually have seen romance done in a dnd game a number of times. You just... need the right people. And more importantly, know what is rollplay, and what is personal, and make sure to keep those lines clear.

4:27 SO SMART AND CORRECT about Cobblemon being superior to Pixelmon in every way

More groups should adopt my rule #1: under no circumstances will belligerence be tolerated. The vast majority of problems can be resolved through discussion, but that all falls apart when players start getting stubborn and combative, so any instance of that gets stamped out immediately

Intro: I was worried the table would act like jerks over OP choking on food. Thankfully they didn't, allowing the choking itself be the horror. Tabletop horror stories have shown there's people who prioritize their fun over someone's well being.
1st story: The samurai portion definitely felt bad, that guy overreacting to the plan to spice a love interest up. Later on he felt moronic.
2nd story: Hearing the DM admit problem player's wife was similarly bad explains how he could possibly get married. Good to hear the problem got kicked instead of OP having to leave just to avoid him.
3rd story: Another case of an agreed upon game plan getting tossed aside because someone's whiny. While it's usually DM's harassing player builds, players harassing a DM also happens. The players who stayed gave garbage advice for this scenario, like they expect they'll get their way next time.
4th story: Three good reasons to not date Sarah? Don't want to, no obligation to have three reasons, and this conversation is over. Good thing she accepted being dropped like a sack of bricks and replaced by sane people both in and out if the table.

If murderhobos announced that they want to be murderhobos, in their mind, that would take the fun out of being murderhobos. I've had the experience that people who like to kill every NP don't do that because they like to be powerful and have power trips. They do that because they know that it'll hurt and inconvenience the GM. If they just wanted to kill everything without consequences they'd play video games on the easy setting. Or if they wanted to feel powerful, they'd just follow the campaign, because most campaigns give you at least some power trip moments. But they don't because they want to inflict suffering without consequences. And because we GMs usually have to prepare and spend time on NPCs, killing them makes our work be for nothing. The vast majority of Murderhobos get a kick out of that. Announcing that they want to kill an NPC takes the fun out of that for them, because then they'd just kill faceless worthless canon fodder.

0:40 THIS IS WHY Y'ALL NEED TO LEARN THE HEIMLICH