I paused Heated Rivalry for this

Hudson Williams does an amazing job in this scene. The  "I love you, I hate you, I hate that I love you, your touch makes me melt and we haven't talked in months and I'll still do whatever you say" is all over Shane's face and it's perfect.

3:14 i'm like 90% sure ilya commenting on shane's watch is him slipping up and revealing that he's seen shane's ads (we see ilya seeing these ads in the ep4 montage. it's the same as ilya slipping up and admitting that he knows about shane doing yoga at the cottage in ep 6. we can develop this idea and understand that there might be some yearning on ilya's part that he doesn't want to admit at this point in the story)

I have a slightly different reading of this scene. I didn't think of Ilya's initial laugh as toying with Shane. It read to me like nervousness, not knowing what to say and wanting Shane to go first ("does he still want me?"). We see Ilya's face fall while Shane says "What the fuck do you want, etc. etc.", inhale and brace himself. When he comes out with "I want you to suck my dick" he's already looked to the ground regretfully and delivers that line almost scared. Then he decides to walk over to Shane and lift his face - this to me reads as Ilya emotionally comforting Shane under the guise of talking about sex. They talk about sex a lot in this scene, but I think they are using that familiar topic to cover unfamiliar ground (emotions).

"Ilya's trying to beat Shane at the game, but Shane isn't even playing the game." 100%! I actually think that's part of Shane's appeal. Ilya is charmed by Shane's lack of artifice. I read Ilya's kiss as him losing control because who could resist those Bambi eyes. (Hudson did a banger of a job looking lovable and love-struck.) I'm curious if others think Ilya's kiss was one of his manipulation techniques rather than him losing control of his feelings.

I can't fully agree with this interpretation, because Ilya's laugh in this scene feels quite uncertain to me. And I've encountered situations when people (including me) start laughing when they are nervous. So, it seems more like Ilya is nervous because he knows that Shane might be upset and might want to stop the whole deal. And Ilya doesn't want to lose this. But he can't be open about it so he directs the conversation as he always did: to sex. When Shane folds, Ilya becomes more confident and starts to play to strangthen this effect.
None of this negates the fact that Ilya hurts Shane's feelings and rejects an emotional connection for the sake of his own peace and safety from vulnerability. He's selfish here, trying to keep Shane for himself and simultaneously keep himself from Shane while neglecting how Shane feels about it.

Thanks for the video, your perspective is very interesting anyway.

Rachel Reid has said that this scene was her favorite change from her books.

She said when she wrote the initial bathroom scene, she was just writing a funny transition to get them up to the hotel room. But when she watched the show, the scene was very powerful for her.

To me the stairwell kiss, this scene and the we didn’t even kiss scene do a great job of setting up the tuna melt.

The show allows Shane to multiple times be very visibly smitten/vulnerable and have Ilya immediately respond to that by withdrawing or reestablishing that this is just a sexual relationship.

Then when Ilya is ready, he’s taught Shane to fear that intimacy.

That combined with Shane’s internal issues lead to the break. I like that there are these moments where Ilya is contributing to his own heartbreak.  It creates a better tension than in the book where it’s more of an internal struggle for Shane.

There's something so irresistible about listening to your very nuanced analysis of my current favorite thing because it's like discovering it all over again with fresh eyes. This time was served particularly well by seeing the mirrored version of the scenes, given the context. (Thank you!)

Best subspace performance on mainstream media my God lmao. Also I remember Hudson saying he was like "wtf?" when he read the script. Glad they both nailed it whew.

As a domme and a sadist, I think in this scene there's a great representation of that in Ilya as well, you cannot untangle the sadism from Ilya's actions here without the scene completely unraveling. Seeing Shane be affected, seeing Shane in some (admittedly kinda mild) distress is fascinating. I'd describe it as "look at how much I can cause this person to feel", and part of the appeal of sadism is causing the hurt yes, but also the soothing too. It's strange to put it like this for people not in the know, but Ilya saying essentially "beg for it and I'll still say no" feels lika a kindness. We get Shane who is scared of being abandoned, ignored, maybe the only thing we did was the casual part but even that part of their interaction got cut off, and we have Ilya (meanly) saying "no, i still want that, i still want you to do that", it is a way to put Shane in a place where he can be honest about what he wants (begging for it, tears in his eyes as you said) and still taking control of the decisions (only later, only after you spent all night thinking about it, only somewhere private where we can do so much more). This show is truly a delight for those in the know haha.

this is propably my favorite series on youtube

Thats not Neville Longbottom, the actor, Harry Melling, played Dudley, Harry's cousin.

I read Shane’s little jokes about Ilya’s English as a way of him sort of levelling the playing field or sliding back into the dynamic where they fuck and chirp each other. You can see he’s just so happy in that moment that their dynamic/ situationship is back “on”, he’s picking up his role in that dance again.

Hi, I love that you see Shane’s emotional vulnerability as bravery, and honesty- not weakness, and tie it into the problems caused by men not expressing or allowing themselves to feel emotions - the male loneliness epidemic.
I slightly disagree with what you say about what Ilya is feeling in this bathroom scene, and that’s rooted in a different interpretation of what happened the last time they had sex. I think it’s clear Ilya was obsessed with Shane when we see the texting montage that starts the episode - and Marleau sees it in the locker room “This Montreal girl really works you up”. The sex they have then is, I think, just as emotional for Ilya as it is for Shane. It does not look like casual hookup sex- Ilya shows not just sexual generosity and care, but humour, warmth and the desire to connect. I mean, “Worth the wait”??? He’s asking Shane “Am I worth it?” And the look on his face, when Shane kissing him so tenderly is fear because he is recognizing his own emotional response as well.
He can’t bring himself to stay away from Shane, but is determined to reset their relationship to a purely physical one. Shane’s “When did your English get so good?” breaks Ilya out of his controlling, dominant role. The affection on Shane’s face breaks his walls and he kisses Shane passionately, which he did NOT intend to do.
So, I generally agree with the dynamics you see, but I think Ilya is not trying to KEEP their relationship purely physical, but change it BACK from emotional to just physical.

Hudson performance during this scene is incredible !!

I love that tiny scared glance of Shane when Ilya leaves the scene. Were we witnessed??
I’ve never seen this level of acting before.

So glad you recognized Hudson's emotional performance. This scene and the penthouse scene broke my heart. I think I've watched the series ten times and have now come to skip the Scott Hunter and Kip-episode. It's just not as interesting as what our main characters are going through. Thank you for posting these. I thoroughly enjoy.

I know it’s obvious Shane gets a sense of relief with Ilya in not having to constantly know what the right thing is to do - he just has to do what Ilya says to do. But perhaps for Ilya it’s not just feeling control in a relationship (which is DEFINITELY something that makes him feel more comfortable), but also that he is able to be what someone needs in a relationship too? Because I feel like that really isn’t something he’s used to. With his family it’s always been like he’s never enough (e.g. more, more, more), but even though he’s not giving Shane what he wants emotionally, it’s quite obvious he’s giving Shane something he needs and/or wants PHYSICALLY and really has no other way to get. And that’s also got to be really validating for Ilya.

Great video as ever. I love how you always make me think about scenes in a new way, even when I have thought about them endlessly already!

The question of what Ilya thinks Shane's feelings are is an interesting one. I am sure that in this scene Ilya can tell he has deeply upset Shane, because Shane is telegraphing it VERY clearly, but I think that the extent of the upset is a surprise to Ilya. Backstage, Shane was angry and jealous, Ilya teased and deflected, and that is within their usual dynamic where Shane is the good boy and Ilya is the rebel. We know Shane is upset because we've seen him being distressed, but Ilya only turns up a few seconds before they go on stage and doesn't even properly see Shane's face before they walk out. In the bathroom, Shane is angry and really sad, and to me Ilya's laugh reads as a nervous reaction to the realization that he has waded into a more emotionally charged situation than he knew, not enjoyment of Shane being upset.  

Once he is in the intense emotional situation, Ilya has a few choices on what to do. The kind thing to do would be to respond to the emotional vulnerability that Shane is not able to suppress with vulnerability of his own, so Shane knows he isn't the only one feeling that way, but Ilya cannot bring himself to do that. He is terrified of vulnerability for all the reasons you go into. If he had to give an actual honest answer to the question of what he wants, what the hell would he even say? So he gives Shane the one thing he can give, which is sex, and successfully distracts him from emotion. It is a terrible idea in the mid to long term, only a temporary band aid over all the feelings that leaves them both feeling much worse than before once the distraction is over, but I don't think it is calculated.

you cannot believe how fast i tried to get here lmao