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China Wants More Marriages. But Young Men And Women Want Different Things | Insight

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China wants more marriages and more babies. But as its population shrinks and birth rates remain stubbornly low, a deeper divide is emerging between the men and women expected to reverse the trend. Young women are more educated and independent than ever, yet many still face traditional expectations around marriage, motherhood and childcare.

At the same time, a growing online backlash against feminism reveals frustrations among young men who believe the scales have tipped against them.

Meanwhile, Chinese authorities are promoting "family-positive" values. But this means censoring online content it deems to be fostering "gender antagonisms". As China navigates the tensions around gender roles and expectations, can men and women find a new bargain for the future?

Editor's note: There is an error in the subtitle at 35:47. It should be "which costs around 10,000 yuan (US$1490)."

00:00 Introduction
01:18 When motherhood changes a career
02:54 China’s population crisis and push for more babies
06:50 The double burden on Chinese women
11:20 Why some women are putting off marriage
16:18 What men and women want
18:48 The return of traditional gender roles?
23:48 China’s backlash against feminism
28:53 Beijing cracks down on “gender antagonism”
34:39 Can women have both a career and family?
39:16 Stay-home-dads: A change traditional mindsets
44:00 Can China mend its gender gap?

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20 Comments

@elvinrichard5882 11 days ago

The birth rate seems to be falling in every country where both men and women have to work long hours before, during, and after partnering. Its almost like people have no time to invest in a family when everyone is burnt out from working.

@karelK-l 13 days ago (edited)

So to summarize the first woman interviewed who did have a child :
- quit her job to care for her kids
- continues paying rent to her husband from her savings
- had grandparents to help out
- one, then two nannies
- can't leave the house more than once a week
- difficulty getting a job when she finally goes back to work

And we're asking why the birth rate has fallen?

@bobasaturn 11 days ago

I feel like "you're living without paying rent" should have been her sign to leave that loser

@moni.l0425 11 days ago

why the first woman is trying to prove herself so much is beyond me. why prove to your husband that you are equal by paying him rent? just makes him happy now he’s got less responsibility😤

@junyu2285 13 days ago

"You're living without paying rent" what a terrible husband and thing to say to the mother of your children.

@kaileybum 13 days ago

So she’s providing free labour in the home, AND she’s given up her career AND she’s financially further disadvantaged by having to contribute to household expenses? Yeah, no thanks

@dfinma 13 days ago

2:39 Hode up -- China wants more marriages (meaning more children) but both parents have to work, you need a nanny, mom gets limited leave, supervisor has a meltdown and dad/hubby tells mom/wife she has to pay rent? What the heck?

@jenny7909 12 days ago

That last dad in the last 5 min or so of the video, is a keeper!

@valco1619 11 days ago

It's not just China, its all over the world. People just dont want extra burden in life, as such having kids nowadays is seen as burden even for people who can afford it

@alaskacpu 11 days ago (edited)

It takes two people working just to support a family. If one stays home, the amount of money brough into the home may not be enough, which creates friction and problems.
Even if one makes enough, there are life challenges like layoffs, company closures or restructuring. So there are no guarantees unless you are rich. :face-red-heart-shape:
Bravo to the Dad staying at home to take care of his daughter. Awesome and amazing.

@ChristopherTrower 7 days ago

High death rate too. A lot of students in China now are graduates of crematorium studies because they realise cremations will increase exponentially

@modash1231 6 days ago (edited)

1 week off for a family emergency and employer was already losing his mind? And still considered good to employees? Wtf? I've worked in some of the most toxic industries (law, banking, consulting) and I still find what she said crazy.

Like I've heard similar horror stories but she made it sound like just having a week off was a mercy.

@Lucky55Blue 13 days ago

Modern people do not want the costs and sufferings of Parenthood!!! The Government will NEVER pay you for the cost of your Child.

@pkzai89 13 days ago

For her husband to say that to her, she obviously chose the wrong guy!

@yutingpoon 11 days ago (edited)

In my old job at an international professional services company, we did a study on the % of women in the senior positions of the company among US, HK, Mainland China and Japan. The results was that the highest percentages were in HK and Mainland China, then US, finally Japan. Chinese women actually get good education and relatively good work opportunities, esp when under one child policy, as resources previously reserved for the boys in the family were given to the girls who were the only child (particularly in the big cities). The dilemma is as discussed in the video, women brought up with good education, encouragement to succeed have different expectations with men who tend to retain the traditional expectations. In addition, some young women expect the best of both, they can enjoy their career and independence while still expecting the men to take on the majority of the economic burden of the family

@you_dare_to_gaze_upon_me 7 days ago (edited)

If you don't know, China's holidays are mostly, by law, made up of something like this:
5 days holiday😍
But 2 of those days are weekends😑
and another 2 of those days are "调休", which means you will have to work on the Sunday/Saturday before/after the holidays to compensate for those 2 days.💀
In reality, it is one day holiday+2 weeks of 6 weekdays before and after it...

Bonus: China historically had a six-day workweek with only one weekly rest day; the standard five-day workweek was introduced in the 1990s.

@cryspirit 13 days ago

Funny how policy makers are putting in effort to make more policy to support without realizing the existing ones are the actual problems

@smallparticlelinda 11 days ago

Why stay married to the guy when he doesn't take up even 10% of childcare responsibilities? They're basically single mothers who are only civically married. Even after divorcing him and demanding alimony, her every day life would still be the same.

@BloodLynae 13 days ago

People just are having tough time meeting people they want to marry and having children is a big cost. The economy and lifestyle of people have changed throughout the world.

@GachaClawCentral 10 days ago

People around the world do not care about population decline!!! Only govt care, but they’re not gonna compensate your salary! Kids = being broke. Single = more money, more free time, etc