Both boys were neglected. No consequences for misbehavior and rewarding bad behavior is a form of abuse, too. That kid's probably messed up for life and going to be unable to live on his own as an adult.

Parents using the kid's autism as an excuse to be horrible parents is disgraceful.  That's the time to step up, not give up.

As an autistic person I notice so many disabled people being failed because their caregivers and loved ones are so ableist they don't think they're capable of understanding the word no. They treat them like they're not even human enough to learn how to interact fairly with others and it makes them turn out like the guy in this story. It disgusts me. DISABLED PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF LEARNING HOW TO UNDERSTAND BEING TOLD NO AND TREAT OTHER PEOPLE FAIRLY. ASSUMING THEY CAN'T SO OTHERS HAVE TO CODDLE THEM NO MATTER WHAT IS ABLEIST- NOT THE PEOPLE WHO WON'T CODDLE THEM.

THEY LET HIM SMASH VINTAGE PLATES AND JUST GET MORE?! They're not just evil, they're wasteful and uncultured! They're monsters of the purest form!

I really need to know why people who are like the mother and father in this story have children, because it honestly sounds like they don't even see their children as people. Just "The one we can ignore and hurt" and "The one we have to placate all the time." The fact that they were constantly told by other adults that what they were doing was evil, but that resulted in them reprimanding OP and finding ways to take things from OP. Seriously, they wanted to look "good" in front of others but there's something wrong and bad in them.
Edit: Yes, I still think this because they created the situation and took forever to realize the damage they caused.

Creating spoiled brats out of your child with special/different needs is also a form of ablism. "Oh I just give them whatever they want because they can't help it." or "Well, their life is already terrible because of their horrible disability so I have to give them whatever they want."
I've met more than one person in the blind community with parents like that. Instead of treat their child like a regular person and raise them to be a functional adult to the best of everyone's ability, the parents cripple them by acting like the child is so incapable of anything at all that they just have to feel sorry for them and everyone else should too.

"You're such a spoiled brat for not coddling our spoiled brat"
I am autistic... my parents scolded me if I misbehaved. You can scold autistic kids if they misbehave.
If you let them get away with everything they're never gonna learn and they're gonna grow up friendless and miserable.
You're not helping your child by spoiling them. You're destroying their lives.

Are they gonna keep doing this as he grows up?
When he applies for a job will they be there and say "please let my son have this job or he's gonna do that ugly screaming noise again"... or are they just gonna let him live at home and be coddled for the rest of their lives... but what then? When they're on their death beds are they gonna ask OP to change his diapers? Because they won't...
Keep this up and that child is doomed. Not because of the autism, autistic kids can grow up to be fine upstanding members of society... But not if the parents are treating them as babies till they're 18.

His brother has "learned to behave" because he's scared to get beaten. So along with the trauma from the neglect because yes spoiling a kid to this degree is neglect, he now also has trauma from physical abuse. I dont feel bad for the parents. OP is conflicted which makes sense, frankly I'd have cut the parents off but I'm glad he's at least around for his brother despite all the bad blood.

I feel so bad for the little brother, that is NOT how to raise any child. I hope he grows up, matures, and realises how his parents have mistreated both him and OP, unfortunately it seems it’s too late for the extended family to get help for the kids 😵‍💫

As someone with high functioning autism... yeah no, the brother scares me.

Edit: Spoiler warning here, but I hope the mom will be okay after that break. Also, I'm glad the brother is actually willing to change now.

Spoiling kids is a form of emotional neglect that isn't talked about enough. Using money as a placeholder for parenting means they're never taught emotional regulation, boundaries, consequences, or healthy communication. They never experience the normal difficulties in life that lead to personal growth - working towards the things they want, making do with what they have, even boredom. It robs them of the mental development they need to lead a happy life, and they're completely unprepared for the real world.
These spoilt kids are often so cripplingly unlikable that it's hard to feel sorry for them, but they've been completely failed by their parents just like any other neglected kids.

These "Parents" completely failed to do their job and properly parent their children. OP needed them and the Autistic Brother has been ruined. As someone with Autism I am disgusted and disappointed at these "Parents".

Oh man these parents are setting up the younger brother to fail.

This is one of those cases that makes me think being a terrible parent really should be a crime.  Because OP’s brother is absolutely a brat and I struggle to believe he’s become a fully functioning adult in the years since the last update. But it’s 100% the fault of the parents. If I’m a bad person for saying it that is what it is, but mom’s breakdown? She brought that on herself. Dad being run ragged and not knowing what to do? He brought that on himself. They created this entire situation because of a decade plus of extreme parental neglect and chose to blame the world rather than plan for their child’s future. And they can’t even pretend they weren’t aware of what they were doing, because they had family, friends, and neighbors all giving them pushback for what they did.

That commenter at the end is spot on: the real world will not care about your problems. Simple as that. And OP’s mom saying she never thought of what he son would be like as an adult? Just another hallmark of a terrible parent tbh. They’ve set their youngest child up for failure because instead of thinking “Ok. He’s high functioning autistic per the diagnosis, let’s do the best we can to make sure he can stand on his own two feet when we’re inevitably gone and not able to protect him anymore” they coddled him to the point that he lacks any type of critical thinking skills and only focuses on what he wants and how he can take what he wants from others. My only wish throughout this entire story was for OP to move far away from these people, because this is not his responsibility.

As someone dating someone with AuDHD: DO NOT RAISE YOUR AUTISTIC KIDS LIKE THIS!

"Special Needs" does not mean you placate the kid and treat them as Immune To Consequence. It means Your Kid Has More Needs Than The Average Child, And Requires More Work.

The parents couldn't parent to begin with, and they never learned. They decided "I have a special needs child" means Things Can Go Wrong And I'm Not Responsible, No One Is. The Child Is Broken, I Can't Be Blamed!

They decided a kid with greater needs was a reason to constantly make demands of others while Completely Failing to do any parenting labor. They'll negotiate with adults, but getting on level with either of their kids? Outta the question, Cause They're Afraid Of Making Someone Cry. Pathetic.

Even a low support needs “high-functioning” autistic person needs support. Normally stuff like having implicit social rules explained, and tips on how to regulate your emotions. The parents here decided the rule is that OP’s brother gets whatever he wants, and that he doesn’t need to regulate his emotions.
Honestly, the way they treat him like he can’t grow as a person because he’s “special needs” is pretty ableist. And the way they treat their other kid is just disgusting.

I like how Oz adds to the narration of the posts.
The small pauses to add emphasis and such, they add a lot to the listening experience.

I just feel bad for the brother. He's been treated like an animal and like a toy his whole life. And the parents barely cared to help him become a functioning human until they got circle-bashed and had to resort to leaving the brother screaming on the ground like a lost creature. Imagine how humiliating and awful that would feel. The brother literally doesn't know how to be normal because his parents are lazy and cruel, and it resulted in him developing destructive behaviours. It's just sad. Disabled kids need extra care, and they gave him ZERO care whatsoever.
Edit: jesus christ add physical abuse to the list, fucking hell. So OP admits his parents spanked him, which is abuse. But then both parents resort to far more severe physical abuse on the brother. Absolutely disgusting, they should lose custody of him.
Just in case some people can't see the forest for the trees: The mother was supposed to hold strong on the rules so he could recover. Instead, she helped him relapse. And then PHYSICALLY ABUSED HIM for relapsing. And then the dad ALSO abused him because it's THEIR fault he's like this, and it's THEIR job as parents to help him get better.  They don't get any sympathy in my book.
51:10 Because the parents keep failing to take accountability. By helping the brother relapse and then hurting him and making him scared. The brother can't get better if they don't get their shit together.

Seven minutes in...

I can't believe these parents looked at their autistic child and basically just said "Yeah, we're not going to parent that." Your autistic child needs a clear no for unwanted/unacceptable behaviour just as much as a neurotypical child, maybe even moreso. They never taught their autistic son how to function in the world, and they neglected their other son (OP) just as much - just in a different way. They failed both of their kids. I know nobody gets the ultimate guide to parenting free with their baby, but god, when everybody around you tells you you're fucking up you might need to take a moment to re-evaluate your parenting strategy...

Edit at the end: This is a terribly unsatisfying case of ohnoconsequences. These parents created their own fresh hell despite everybody around them warning them against it, and then failed to take any responsibility whatsoever. They turned their kid into a monster and then beat him for being one. I hope OP and his brother can and do heal from this. Thank you for your apt commentary Oz.