“And Republican Jesus said unto him: Don’t release the Epstein files.”

Republican Jesus once said “I thought it was just me as a doctor”.

He healed the sick 🥹 and asked for nothing in return except for $600,000 as medical insurance had not yet existed.

And Republican Jesus said, “ Let there be a ballroom “

Republican Jesus said "it's incredibly easy to get into heaven if you're rich, actually"

He came, he posted peak, he left, and went under appreciated for 13 years.

Republican Jesus said “they’re eating the dogs, they’re eating the cats”

And then Republican Jesus used the stones to built an AI data center over someone's well.

"Why do I even have 12 disciples? We need to cut back " - Republican Jesus

Republican Jesus looked upon the poor and said: 'Why are you poor? Have you tried working harder?' And the crowd was silent.

"I will not heal you, you have pre-existing condition."

“Cast no stone”
“Cast no stone for I require these stones for the ballroom that everyone has wanted for 150 years.”

“The bread and fish will trickle down to the rest”
-Republican Jesus

republican jesus once said "a whole civilization will die tonight"

And republican jesus said "another 10 billion to Israel"

The bread and the fish will trickle down

Republican Jesus is totally self made, he just happens to be god's son

Republican jesus once said: “you can only get to heaven with the proper documentation”

“Protect the wealthy. The poor are not working hard enough.” -Republican Jesus

the fact this is from 2012 and its still 100% relevant