Listening to what women talk about to each other makes way more sense than what she says to her male partner

I'm in a 35 year relationship, and I continually learn things about my partner. The idea that there's not mystery left is wrong!

Great video! At the start of a relationship, it’s amazing how much effort goes into managing how you are perceived by your partner. That goes away during marriage, and that’s the kind of familiarity that breeds contempt.

Another aspect, which changes at the beginning vs later is whether your desire for sex happens spontaneously or in response to stuff - spontaneous vs. responsive desire. It's very common for women to have more Responsive desire where sexy things need to be happening to want to be sexual. Rather than feeling it really easily out of the blue. See Dr Karen Gurney

Wonderful, what to do once the limerence wears off.
And Esther Perel.

All this did was make me cry 😔

I'd imagine these things vary by gender. E.g. men may value being respected more than women do. It might be valuable to break these things down with more resolution.

was she ever physically attracted to him

What if in the beginning you weren't physically attracted, but she improved her self gradually and i feel more attracted now than the beginning, I love her deeply but I know it's not fair to hope for a potential/fantasy

Then Perish

Look at your natal charts. Your all bumbling around in the dark. It will show you so much. If your not attracted then your not compatible. End of the story...its more platonic. The aspects in your synastry charts will show you the blocks.