The idea that there was some society in history that was "non-hierarchical" is ridiculous and someone poising as a serious academic worthy of being cited for their contributions should know better than to say such things. Within societies all around the world you have relationship dynamics, in-group out-group dynamics, you have cryptolects and restricted knowledge, you have dreamers who have access to the spitirtual realm of their cosmovision, you have those who retain and pass certain types of knowledge and those who judge whether that knowledge is being properly displayed. Hell, I've worked with language revitalization and when establishing a writing system for certain languages, groups will form trying to control the orthography and privilege their own dialect as a form of political power within their society.

Someone in another comment already mentioned teh noble savage trope, and it's absolutely what it looks like, as somehow indigenous peoples are somewhat "pure" and uncorrupted by "imperial attitudes", as if these people didn't have their own histories of politics, warfare and dynamics. David Graeber makes a point of destroying this kind of thinking in Dawn of Everything. Every society is equally complex, has its own social technologies and its own power dynamics.

And to hear someone speak of their sexual preference for pre-op trans women while parading around with their white cis male partner and claiming to be against all hierarchies just stinks of hypocrisy. Why is he the one appearing in front of everything if all your partners are equal? And I don't mean this as a claim that she should be putting up an ever rotating cast of partners in her videos, but that this is a reflection of the same Western logocentric culture that they claim to want to rip down. They look at indigenous peoples as some sort of reified source of meaning and power that they can approach by appropriating their existence to justify their own model of relationship, just as the Romans claimed relation to the Greeks, of the Holy Roman Empire to the Rome of Caesar, or the protestant churches to an older church that was erased, or the Catholic Church to the Apostle Peter.... You're just saying you're right because someone before you did it. Like, to claim to deconstruct things and not even be aware that this is exactly the kind of stuff Derrida was talking about when he coined the deconstructive method, being a supposed scholar?

The hubris is endless.

Decolonize love but not Palestine is a wild fucking take

I am really sick of these "coaches" who get to practice therapy without a license.

I'm sorry about your father

The last stuff about Palestine threw me for a loop. “I believe in a decolonial ideology and framework but support the right of Israel to exist”. What do YOU MEAN?!

"Diagnosing" people's sexualities. Barely into the video and we're already off to a *great* start. I can hardly think of a redder flag, who the hell proclaims another person's sexuality TO them...

I like the idea of dating trans people. That's because I'm trans, and T4T relationships offer a place of mutual support and understanding. I believe it's common for people within a minority group to feel more confident dating within the minority group due to that sense of shared identity, community and experience.

It's not the same thing as being fetishised. I would have understood if Millie said they wanted to date trans people because they're non-binary and that part of their identity is important to them. But mentioning genitals shows a lack of understanding of the trans community as a whole. We don't want to be defined by our genitals.

I think the phrasing they used when addressing the chaser comment is crazy too. They didn't "express attraction to trans women" they used their objectification of certain trans women as a reason why they aren't transphobic. They posted a transphobic meme and instead of just apologizing they immediately jumped to saying they like having sex with trans women.

Imagine saying being anti ai is a mark of a lack of critical thinking but literally posting the slop it creates and not checking for spelling errors first. I would actually run away and live in a cave after that.

I find it exhaustive how any thing indigenous to tribal Nations in so called America becomes free access and everyone is an expert on it. We are not and we’re not a monolith. The ONLY people who can actually speak on being Two-Spirted with relational Intelligence, is the two-spirited persons and their tribal members.  For my own tribal Nation our social role was being morticians and seers. Gender was not a concept in our society at all. Our language divided into live or non living. We had no concept of gender or sexual orientation. This is ALL a colonial christian paradigm that was used to justify our genocide and rape of our cultural identity.

While your conversation about kink is great and super informative—I think Millie and their partner come from a weird part of this idea of polyamory as a morally superior, “pure” relationship, and having BDSM muddies that for them. Also,,,the indigenous comments are just so blatantly uninformed and give “noble savage” vibes. There is no pure indigenous person or group that has never had a power dynamic of any kind. We have always adapted to the world around us and one another.

calling BDSM a societal norm is such a touch-grass moment 💀 like damn I WISH I could not escape the looming presence of hot leather men tying me up but that is VERY MUCH a fringe thing

As somewhat of a BDSM scholar, their misunderstanding of the Marquis de Sade hurt my soul. The Marquis de Sade DID NOT INVENT SADISM OR KINK! Even before his time, there was an old-timey term for sadomasochism. The term sadism would be coined by psychiatrist Richard Von Krafft Ebbing in Psychopathia Sexualis, a book chronicling various "perversions" - which included things like sadomasochism, child and animal predation, and homosexuality. Yes, back then being gay or kinky was seen as on the same level as harming children and Ebbing's book was one of the first to pathologise non-normative sexualities. Referencing De Sade isn't the progressive zinger these folks think it is.

Once again I'm forced to apologize on behalf of Canadians.

I hate people like this that either pity you or consider you "inspiring" because you faced shit in life. There's nothing inspiring about surviving a traumatic experience. There's nothing magical about suffering. It's romanticizing things that should not happen. Trans people suffering is a bad thing. There's nothing great about it and we shouldn't treat them in such an inhuman way as if they are only tools for us to learn about oppression instead of real people with real lives.

Its funny because indigenous to where? Indigenous is an adjective, not a nomenclature or nationality. My grandparents didn't survive the 1954 termination acts to be used like this.

These people legit tried to say the reason I had BPD was because I was too jealous and I let monogamy rule over my life...Very fulfilling to see one of my fav YouTubers talk about them after that! They're very unique people...

I'm an indigenous library and information scientist (Ojibwe). These two have no idea how hierarchy actually works under a decolonized lens.

Also the way this white man says "can you give us a Non-Indigenous kink" makes my skin crawl.

It's a COLONIAL idea that all hierarchy = bad power imbalance. That's all or nothing thinking -> a tenant of white supremacy. plus, these two are trying to do decolonizing work in a vacuum where what they say is correct - that's literally colonization.

The actual decolonization of hierarchy is switching to relations (how things are connected or related to one another), transparency, self reflection paired with collective accountability), and life long learning. As a start.

And not putting people on pedestals (like supporting movements instead of idolizing specific people).
It's why being an elder is earned, not given just because someone lives a long time.

we have tribal councils, is that hierarchy inherently bad to these two?! Do they think anyone who wants to be a doctor is one even if they don't go to medical school and get licensed?!

Oh the way they talk about decolonization reminds me of how i get treated by white nonprofit organizations who think i can paint some magical story about a culture. There is no perfect indigenous community, past or present. That's why we're all life long learners.

There's so much wrong with how these two talk about things and a lack of truly engaging in community.

Their fixation on marquis de sad is hilarious because it's just a word. The word "sadism" exists outside of BDSM

I think it’s interesting that hierarchy in romantic relationships is so controversial because all our relationships are hierarchical. Our family relationships are hierarchical. Our friendships are hierarchical. If my two close long term friends don’t like my casual work acquaintance, work acquaintance isn’t getting invited to my party. If immediate family don’t like distant cousin, distant cousin probably won’t be visiting for Christmas.