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"I Wasn't Put On Earth For Love" @bbcstrictly's Shirley Ballas on "Disastrous Relationships"

We Need To Talk

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Strictly Come Dancing’s head judge Shirley Ballas joins us for an exclusive conversation about her extraordinary life on and off the dance floor. She also reflects on the loss of her brother David, and why she now campaigns to raise awareness around men’s mental health and suicide prevention.

From her early years on a Merseyside council estate to global fame, Shirley shares the resilience, heartbreak, and lessons that shaped her. She opens up about her family heritage, the bullying she endured through school years and beyond, and the sacrifices she made to rise to the top of the dance world. She speaks candidly about her relationships, turbulent love affairs and lifelong struggles with body image.

Shirley also takes us behind the scenes of ‪@bbcstrictly‬ from a “disastrous” first audition to navigating the highs and lows of being on one of the biggest shows on television.

Shirley shares:
◽ How discovering her family heritage reshaped her identity
◽ The bullying that left lasting scars - and how she found strength through dance
◽ Walking away from a marriage at the peak of her career - and the regrets that followed
◽ The pressures of body image in the dance world and her experiences with surgery
◽ The moment her Strictly audition went wrong - and how she turned it around
◽ The toll of online trolling and public criticism as head judge
◽ Why championing men’s mental health is so important to her
◽ What happiness means today

Shirley Ballas, We Need To Talk

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00:00 Intro
02:08 Otto and Shirley's Heritage
06:49 Shirley's Upbringing in the Wirral
09:15 Shirley's Experience of School
12:10 How Shirley Became Obsessed with Dance
15:06 Moving to London at 16
18:40 Moving to Manchester and Starting Her Latin Dance Career
22:13 Class in the UK and How It Relates to the Dance Industry
29:56 How Shirley Met Corky Ballas
35:46 Does Shirley Regret Leaving Sammy for Corky?
44:42 Why Shirley and Corky's Relationship Came to an End
48:16 Tinder Ad
49:16 Adobe Express Ad
50:34 How Shirley Came to Be on Strictly Come Dancing
55:10 The Enduring Popularity of Strictly
01:00:37 Would Paul Go on Strictly?
01:01:41 Who Is Shirley's Fantasy Strictly Contestant?
01:03:05 Who Is the Biggest Surprise During Shirley's Time on Strictly?
01:04:32 The Importance of Shirley's Brother David to Her Life
01:14:41 Shirley's Battle with Body Image
01:22:12 Shirley Reads a Letter to Her Younger Self
01:25:44 Most Memorable Conversation
01:31:16 Shirley and Celebs Go Dating
01:37:38 Paul's Takeaways

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20 Comments

@WeNeedToTalk-Podcast Creator 1 year ago Pinned

Do you enjoy these kinds of conversations? If so, hit the like button - it's the best way to tell us you want more ❤ And if you haven’t already, subscribing is free and helps us grow this incredible community!

@ES-gu1nj 1 year ago

I didn't know anything about Shirley prior to this other than Strictly. Just want to give her a hug, she's so very hard on herself, I wish she could forgive herself ❤ The fact she's still upset by decisions she made years ago shows she's a good person who just made mistakes, as we all do. Great interview ❤

@claireybella74boxall51 11 months ago

I'm a huge Strictly fan, but didn't really know much about Shirley. I'm shocked that she cannot see how lovely she is, and how stunning she is. Shirley, if you read this, I'm sending a huge virtual hug :)

@KristyKite 11 months ago

It makes me sad to hear Shirley being so hard on herself. I don't understand why she has such harsh critics. I've always liked her and she is my favourite judge on strictly since it began. She is knowledgeable, talented and kind. She is also beautiful and I'm sorry she has been made to feel less than. I think she's inspirational. I hope she sees all of the positivity in the comments here.

@katiebutterfield916 1 year ago

This conversation was incredible. As a 20 year old woman I have watched Strictly for as long as I can remember, a true staple in our household. I didn’t know anything about Shirley when she joined Strictly and this has truly opened my eyes. What a strong woman!!!

@lec914 1 year ago

I love how she describes strictly. She absolutely nails it. Run up to Christmas, cosy pyjamas, nice food and cuddles on the sofa with the kids watching together.

@amylinforth2104 1 year ago

I think Shirley is amazing. She's a proper grafter and she deserves all the success she has. I think many people are jealous of a powerful woman who takes charge of her own life.

@caterinaleblancq 1 year ago

Paul, YOU NEED TO GO ON STRICTLY. That would be the best thing ever. Love you and what you do, also love Shirley and strictly. 🎉

@janebentley5418 1 year ago

Our Curly Shirley from the Wirral! YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS & TO BE LOVED. Do not punish yourself for the success you have achieved. Determination and hard work got you there (we all make mistakes) please don’t punish yourself for the rest of your life because of your past. Sending so much ❤ YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL inside and out x

@staceywinters4964 10 months ago

Shirley, Shirley....you are stunning. There are not many women that look this good at even 30+. You are, and should be an inspiration......remember that.

@natalias1513 1 year ago

I really hope that one day Shirley is able to see what all of us can see ✨

@zoookoo 1 year ago (edited)

Omgosh I need a movie made based on this story telling of Shirley's life! The bit where she was almost engaged but then got the opportunity to do Latin with Sammy and Nigel telling her it's over if she leaves and then going to dance with Sammy not knowing if it'll work out and him telling her she's coming with him because she feels great to dance with wowww!!! And moving to London with two plastic bags and not a suitcase!!! A director needs to see this and do it!!!

@viv2089 2 weeks ago

You do deserve it Shirley .. you are loved very much ❤

@diaryofanotdgirl 11 months ago

So many of us knew nothing about Shirley because all we see are the sequins and sparkles and have made assumptions about how she must have been born into privilege… thank you Paul for arranging this interview. And thank you Shirley for being as honest and vulnerable as you have been here… there is so much love for you here ❤❤❤

@jennygormanpratt96 2 weeks ago

She TRUELY is STUNNING!!
And what an amazing person to take Derek and Julianne into her home!! that sweet trio has brought me more joy than I can tell you and I know I'm not alone.

@garydenton7741 9 months ago

Shirley is so absolutely beautiful I’ve watched her earlier years dancing to see where she is today she shines with genuine care love it is so sad that she doesn’t know how admired she is I watch strictly because of her I wish I could give her a hug and tell her to be kind to herself and know just how loved she is ❤❤❤ xxx Ruth

@222HelloGoodMorning 4 weeks ago (edited)

What a beautiful person she is and what a beautiful and wonderful story she has ❤ shows that we are all just humans. ❤ she’s beautiful I wish someone can tell her that. I hope she believes that.