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2)Please remember attachment styles aren’t personality disorders.
3) the type of comment you leave is a reflection of how people experience you. So, to those who leave mature, insightful comments, I appreciate you and the warmth you bring into a room. ❤ If you’re here to leave a displaced anger comment about how “all avoidants are ___stereotype__,” that high conflict communication style pushes people away. You have an opportunity now to make healing choices or continue with self-sabotaging ones. The choice is yours.

Loving an avoidant is like slowly being pecked to death by a chicken. 😩

I find it disturbing how happy you are to be retelling all of this like it was fun or that’s it’s cute

Even a secure person can become anxious when an avoidant plays hot and cold unexpectedly.
The difference between a secure and an anxious person is that the secure figures it out sooner or later and stops, whereas an axious  gets hooked on the relationship long-term.

Update: she left him again

I dont care if its trauma, avoidants are monsters causing pain to innocent people

Imagine how exhausting it was for him to sense all the secrets, all the unchecked male attention, all the red flags, and the lack of boundaries.

Secure attached person here. Run for the hills regarding avoidants. They need to heal their core wounds. Otherwise you're just wasting your valuable time!!!

Don’t call it no contact, YouTube friends. Call it walking away to heal. And continue on your journey. Peace.

I don't think you're an avoidant, you're self- absorbed!!

An Avoidant attempting to give advice on a no contact ex is like a lion blaming an antelope for allowing him to get caught.

You were impressed because he never contacted you? That's your number one? Im seriously beginning to lose faith in humanity at this point!. You was laughing and finding it funny because he was anxiously attached? That, let's be honest,  you induced and exacerbated. Avoidants can make a 'secure' individual anxious with all push and pull shenanigans.  No, thank you, your anxious partner should have had the sense & emotional discipline to never reconnect with you again. And this is just something I observed. You seem very cold behind the eyes. They say the 'eyes' are the windows to a person's soul & there definitely seems to be something lacking.  Nope! Nobody wants avoidants back , you're not worth the headache I'm afraid.

I loved my girl so so much, it's been two months with no contact and I'm feeling so much better, even if she misses me, I'm not going back there. She took my love and kindness for weakness and granted. It wasn't easy to give up and be where I am now.

Her words agitate me. She either has no genuine self-awareness or she’s so painfully aware that she choose to lie, play dumb, and wreck other peoples lives. It’s pathetic to see her boast about her own foolishness. I hope she grows up, get the help she needs, and stops hurting people while pretending it’s cool.

If a person makes themselves emotionally available while their avoidant partner makes themselves emotionally unavailable, the vulnerable person then becomes emotionally unsafe. Therefore, they should leave. Period. There is no reason to choose a partner that is emotionally unsafe unless your goal is to become emotionally unavailable or emotionally hurt(which are probably the same thing deep down).

Avoidants are interesting. And hearing directly from one is illuminating. They love the attention they get from people (usually anxious types), get bored, and then get excited about winning the person back once they finally show some backbone. I don’t hear any respect for the guy’s humanity in this. She speaks of him like he was a fascinating plaything.

Anxious folks, love yourselves first.

I’m convinced that this dude knew she was toxic..he went in anyways..people, listen to your gut if you’re feeling someone is toxic

Avoidants deserve each other - selfish to the core. I hope ur poor anxious heals his wounds and moves on from u to someone who will treat him with respect.

I just finished a therapy session and the therapist was literally telling me to leave the avoidant even if they are in therapy they still won’t fix themselves as it takes multiple years just for them to start to dig into deep wounds. I can’t believe I had to pay for therapy to find out how to deal with my girlfriend’s avoidance behaviour it’s extremely sad. He literally said you’re wasting your time if you think they will work on themselves for the long term. 35 years experience.

Avoidant people are insane never communicate and out of blue making hurtful decisions even cheating with another ex. Even a healthy secure person can turn anxious and insecure due to avoidant shady behaviors. Heal yourself and stop hurting beautiful healthy soul.