【知らないと怖い】大人になってから現れる毒親育ちの後遺症5選
精神科医 芳賀高浩
17,653 views
Good evening, everyone. I'm Takahiro Haga, a psychiatrist.
This time, as a "respectful homage" to Dr. Yusuke Masuda, a psychiatrist, I will discuss the same theme from my own perspective.
However, instead of directly quoting his work, I have summarized my own thoughts while referencing papers and research reports.
Today's theme is:
"Five Scary After-effects of Raising Toxic Parents That Appear in Adulthood"
The term "toxic parent" is not a medical diagnosis. Here, it refers to parents or upbringing environments that have a lasting negative impact on a child's mind through abuse, neglect, excessive control, negativity, threats, etc.
For a child, parents are supposed to be their first "secure base." However, if that secure base is not a safe place, the effects do not end in childhood.
They can manifest in adulthood as anxiety, depression, difficulties in relationships, addiction, and other issues.
This time, we will discuss five common after-effects.
1. Recurring anxiety and depression with no apparent reason
Multiple studies have reported that people who experienced abuse or neglect as children have a higher rate of developing depression and anxiety disorders in adulthood.
If parents do not provide a secure base during childhood,
children cannot learn that "the world is a safe place."
If a child constantly experiences uncertainty about when they will be scolded or abandoned at home, their brain and body become constantly prepared for danger.
Even after leaving that environment and becoming an adult, this state of vigilance can remain.
Even if no major problems actually occur, this can manifest as persistent vague anxiety, unexplained low moods, and repeated episodes of depression.
2. Being overly sensitive to others' moods and constantly on guard
People raised by toxic parents may become extremely sensitive to the moods of others.
"Is this person angry?"
"Was that the wrong thing to say?"
"Did they dislike me?"
I overanalyze the other person's facial expressions, tone of voice, silence, sighs, etc., and I'm constantly tense.
This may have been a necessary skill for surviving childhood.
Being able to quickly sense my parents' moods allowed me to avoid the danger of being yelled at or hurt.
However, if this reaction continues into adulthood, I can't feel secure in relationships.
Even at work or in friendships, I take on the emotions of others, and every time something happens,
"Was it my fault?"
I keep thinking this.
3. Inability to express emotions, or sudden outbursts
People raised by toxic parents may have extreme ways of handling emotions.
"I mustn't get angry."
"I mustn't cry."
"I mustn't say I'm hurting."
"If I show weakness, I'll be blamed."
In such an environment, I can't learn how to safely express my emotions.
As a result, they may pretend to be okay even though they are actually hurt, or they may endure until they reach their breaking point and then suddenly explode with anger.
Research has also reported that childhood abuse and neglect are associated with difficulties in emotional regulation, emotional repression, avoidance, and increased negative emotional expression.
This is not because they have a bad personality or a weak will.
It is because they lacked experience in having their emotions acknowledged by someone and expressing them appropriately.
4. Getting too close or too distant in romantic relationships and interpersonal relationships
They may lose their sense of appropriate distance in relationships.
They may feel abandoned if they don't receive a reply for even a short time and end up contacting the other person repeatedly.
On the other hand, some people become afraid of becoming close and distance themselves the more they like someone.
Childhood abuse and neglect are thought to be associated with anxious and avoidant attachment tendencies in adulthood.
Both those who get too close and those who avoid others have underlying fears:
"Is it really okay to trust people?"
"What if I get hurt someday?"
These fears stem from a lack of positive experiences in relationships, making it difficult to maintain a stable distance in relationships.
5. Numbing the mind through addiction, overeating, overwork, and self-destruction
The after-effects manifest not only in mental symptoms but also in behavior.
When things get tough, they might drink too much, overeat, or become addicted to drugs or gambling.
They might overwork themselves to the point where they're afraid to rest.
They might repeatedly engage in self-destructive romantic or sexual behaviors.
Individuals with multiple childhood adverse experiences have been reported to have increased health risks, including not only mental illness but also harmful alcohol and drug use, smoking, physical illness, and interpersonal violence.
People who didn't receive support from their parents for their painful emotions as children lack experience in processing their emotions within relationships.
Therefo...
20 Comments
後天的に書き換えられる」という言葉に、
とても希望を感じました😊
一朝一夕にはいかない
簡単なことではないと思いますが、
先生のような熱量と
気概を持って接していただけたら、
救われる患者さんが本当にたくさんいると感じます‼
今日もありがとうございました😊
周りからは明るくいつも笑顔な子、真面目で努力家、素直な子と思われる
私は駒のひとつでしかない
機械的に分析し続けて今日も息をしている
母とは共依存で、私は子供の頃からケアラーで、この数年で母との距離感がおかしいと自覚して修正しようとしてきました。そうすると、母が過干渉であることに気づきました。虐待ではないですし、人から母を毒親と言われたこともありましたが、私自身は母を毒親とは呼びたくないんです。
でも、母の介護を続けるのが苦しく、生きるのも辛く感じるようになりました。
母は高齢であと数年で人生を終えるかと思うので、出来るだけ穏やかな日々を過ごしてもらいたいけれど、もう昔みたいに優しくできなくて辛いです。申し訳ないです。
本当にその通りだと思います。
先生は1番大事な事を知ってるしダイレクトに支援者にも分かるように伝えてくれます。
人間関係とか難しい。近い距離は無理
ほとんど当てはまる
治るのかなぁ🤔
社会に出てからは身なりを整えることでの周囲の評価がガラリと変わることが希望となり自尊心を保つスキルとして役立ちましたが、外見を良くしようが本質的な部分は変わらず人間関係の構築はできませんでした。
なるべくしてなったという訳です。益田先生の受け売りじゃないですが「仕方ない」というのが自然と腑に落ちます。
ただ、その中でも芳賀先生の鋭い切り口での発信により長年のモヤモヤが解消されることもありました。今のところ人生が大きく変わったまではいきませんが、今日を過ごしやすくなり感謝しています。
いつも深い臨床をありがとうございます。
逃げることもできずに、泣いているしかない。
全て当てはまります。
ありがとうございました。
普通の親に育てられるという事が、どういう事か想像できません！
毒親に育てられなかった普通の人達が羨ましいです!!😢💦
【知らないと怖い】大人になってから現れる毒親育ちの後遺症5選
精神科医 芳賀高浩
17,653 views
Good evening, everyone. I'm Takahiro Haga, a psychiatrist.
This time, as a "respectful homage" to Dr. Yusuke Masuda, a psychiatrist, I will discuss the same theme from my own perspective.
However, instead of directly quoting his work, I have summarized my own thoughts while referencing papers and research reports.
Today's theme is:
"Five Scary After-effects of Raising Toxic Parents That Appear in Adulthood"
The term "toxic parent" is not a medical diagnosis. Here, it refers to parents or upbringing environments that have a lasting negative impact on a child's mind through abuse, neglect, excessive control, negativity, threats, etc.
For a child, parents are supposed to be their first "secure base." However, if that secure base is not a safe place, the effects do not end in childhood.
They can manifest in adulthood as anxiety, depression, difficulties in relationships, addiction, and other issues.
This time, we will discuss five common after-effects.
1. Recurring anxiety and depression with no apparent reason
Multiple studies have reported that people who experienced abuse or neglect as children have a higher rate of developing depression and anxiety disorders in adulthood.
If parents do not provide a secure base during childhood,
children cannot learn that "the world is a safe place."
If a child constantly experiences uncertainty about when they will be scolded or abandoned at home, their brain and body become constantly prepared for danger.
Even after leaving that environment and becoming an adult, this state of vigilance can remain.
Even if no major problems actually occur, this can manifest as persistent vague anxiety, unexplained low moods, and repeated episodes of depression.
2. Being overly sensitive to others' moods and constantly on guard
People raised by toxic parents may become extremely sensitive to the moods of others.
"Is this person angry?"
"Was that the wrong thing to say?"
"Did they dislike me?"
I overanalyze the other person's facial expressions, tone of voice, silence, sighs, etc., and I'm constantly tense.
This may have been a necessary skill for surviving childhood.
Being able to quickly sense my parents' moods allowed me to avoid the danger of being yelled at or hurt.
However, if this reaction continues into adulthood, I can't feel secure in relationships.
Even at work or in friendships, I take on the emotions of others, and every time something happens,
"Was it my fault?"
I keep thinking this.
3. Inability to express emotions, or sudden outbursts
People raised by toxic parents may have extreme ways of handling emotions.
"I mustn't get angry."
"I mustn't cry."
"I mustn't say I'm hurting."
"If I show weakness, I'll be blamed."
In such an environment, I can't learn how to safely express my emotions.
As a result, they may pretend to be okay even though they are actually hurt, or they may endure until they reach their breaking point and then suddenly explode with anger.
Research has also reported that childhood abuse and neglect are associated with difficulties in emotional regulation, emotional repression, avoidance, and increased negative emotional expression.
This is not because they have a bad personality or a weak will.
It is because they lacked experience in having their emotions acknowledged by someone and expressing them appropriately.
4. Getting too close or too distant in romantic relationships and interpersonal relationships
They may lose their sense of appropriate distance in relationships.
They may feel abandoned if they don't receive a reply for even a short time and end up contacting the other person repeatedly.
On the other hand, some people become afraid of becoming close and distance themselves the more they like someone.
Childhood abuse and neglect are thought to be associated with anxious and avoidant attachment tendencies in adulthood.
Both those who get too close and those who avoid others have underlying fears:
"Is it really okay to trust people?"
"What if I get hurt someday?"
These fears stem from a lack of positive experiences in relationships, making it difficult to maintain a stable distance in relationships.
5. Numbing the mind through addiction, overeating, overwork, and self-destruction
The after-effects manifest not only in mental symptoms but also in behavior.
When things get tough, they might drink too much, overeat, or become addicted to drugs or gambling.
They might overwork themselves to the point where they're afraid to rest.
They might repeatedly engage in self-destructive romantic or sexual behaviors.
Individuals with multiple childhood adverse experiences have been reported to have increased health risks, including not only mental illness but also harmful alcohol and drug use, smoking, physical illness, and interpersonal violence.
People who didn't receive support from their parents for their painful emotions as children lack experience in processing their emotions within relationships.
Therefo...