Fun fact: Conan's original creator was a close friend of HP Lovecraft and was the guy who convinced Weird Tales to publish The Call of Cthulhu.

Oh I found my favorite room it's the one where you CAN'T FUCKIN SEE

Classic Jontron ending: "There's a jar o' horseradish up there, IDK whatidis but s scary"

6:42
"'Conan does not know that attack.' God damnit."
The delivery of that line was perfect.

6:46 "My dementia-riddled grandmother knows that attack" has me in stitches every damn time.

Is Sword Used For
A) Maiming and Beheading
B) Cutting Butter at the Dinner Table
C) RUG

Quote from the books.
"I offer you life conan."
"I offer you death wizard!"

8:06 My favorite JonTron moment!

"Looked like a god damned piece of sharp cheddar" - JonTron 2014

The thing I noticed with Conan stories is that (insofar as he is considered a dumb brute) he actually had a lot of wisdom and open-mindedness in the books, his principal flaw was that he was a sucker for a pretty face however. His love interests either died dramatically and made him act very unwisely post-mortem or had been manipulating him the entire time into doing precisely what they wanted him to.

The guy certainly got around, but at what cost?

“Who made this Nietzsche?”

This for me will be my favorite Johntron quote ever

"I can't even begin to fathom why they would make down jump when up also jumps.

Especially in a game when you need to push down very quickly in a storm of never-ending butt-feasting gremlin-skeletons to get the item that only falls from the teleporting purple Satan demon that only spawns when you cut down the one random skeleton hanging from the ceiling that is the only item that can kill the boss that kills YOU in one hit unless you HAVE that item and you would never know it unless you read it on the internet THAT DOESN'T EXIST WHEN THIS GAME CAME OUT!"

Hallelujah, holy SHIT

Still love how Jontron's voice is a cross between timone and pumba.

Life Lesson #419: Sword is for rug. Sword is not for enemy, it is for rug.

that has got to be the most amazing pixelated double D's ive ever seen

When Jon says "The basement... the birthplace of fantasy" its like he's all tongue-in-cheek trying to fight a grin. It's gold.

I love how Jacque's alarm isn't some variation of "intruder alert" but repeating "kill!" XD

Everytime I hear about the Commodore 64 I just hear "more like Commodore sixty-bore! haha-just kidding it was actually revolutionary"

These vids are so rewatchable. I always lose my shit at "... Sword is not for enemy.... Sword is for rug"