0-30 years. Worrying what people think about you.
30-60 years. Don't care what people think about you.
60-90 years. Realise people weren't thinking about you at all.

Adulthood is overrated, and doesn't imply maturity.

Sometimes it is rooted in how our parents trained our confidence

You are a very courageous person, opening up like this in a such judgemental place.

I'm 46 and have no idea what I'm doing.

if you stop thinking about achieving things and rather living things, that guilt is blown to bits.

"I wasn't allowed to take up space" too real

you gotta stop the self-reflection, that's precisely the problem. start doing, stop thinking.

Feels like you're describing my own life. Kinda scary how eerily similar our experiences are.

I used to be like her. Then I realized something: most people don't have extraordinary conversations. They're just ordinary conversations, and that's the point. People aren't looking to be entertained all the time. They just want to feel a human connection.

After everything I've been through, I think these are the keys to a happy life:

Social skills (even if you want to be a loner, they are necessary to avoid being in awkward/humiliating situations)
Self-esteem. (i know it sounds cheesy, but when you love first, life starts to get more fun)
A purpose in life. (very good for your brain)

I relate
it sounds like social anxiety

Oh man... it’s so painful to feel inadequate, unworthy and just weirdly different... I feel you.

i am 70 years old and the only regrets i have is not doing the things i was invited to, but i was too scared to do.   have no regrets and conquer your fears

She described my whole life like she was there

You don't need confidence to do anything, just do it, you get confidence after doing it many times. You don't owe anyone anything, especially strangers, be kind when appropriate but don't be bothered with what other people might be thinking. Find spirituality, whatever speaks to you and is positive. Materialistic living is always dull and grey on its own.

Guys life isn’t about achieving things, it’s about living and just being there. We were put in this world against our will, we didn’t decide to be there. Thus, waking up every day is already an achievement. This capitalistic society tells us to be productive but it is not made for us humans.

Sounds like a shame-based childhood had something to do with it.

Im 40, am unemployed and have no idea what im doing. It keeps me up at night.

You're honest and brave, and this is a huge achievement in itself..

what an absolute gold you are to be able to talk about such things. thank you 💚💙