On post #2
DM:”stop saying what your spell does and trying to use it it’s no faaaiiiir”

"I didn't mean to kill a kid."
Or in EA terms:
"It wasn't child murder, it was surprise collateral damage."

6:12
One minute is 10 rounds, so I imagine that's what she had in her head

"I search the dead body for loot."
"There is loot."
"What is the loot?"
"You don't know."

Imagine multiclassing Cleric and Celestial Warlock, and your patron is one of your Gods underlings.  Your character arc is helping your patron get back in your god’s good graces after their major slip up, and helping reconcile their relationship by being a good friend to both.

When you're a forever DM and want to hear about shittier DMs than yourself to feel a little better about comparison.

Imagine just multiclassing every level into cleric just with a different diety each time until you run out of god options.

The story with the traps be like:

"I check the bus schedule."
"Okay. The bus schedule says 'there are buses.'"
"When are the buses coming?"
"You don't know."

"Stop being pedantic it's about fun not playing by the rules"...

Fine I turn into Superman and fly away.

"Make a Deception check."
32.
"He easily sees through your lie and calls you by name."
....

"And in local news, a man was found dead in his basement, with a bag of dice and a DM screen lodged in his rectum."

DnD horror stories :
Spencer starts talking about the Sunder game

Jacob: If you have trouble throwing traps at your players because they're way to smart.
Me to player: You see a pressure plate on the floor.
Player: I step on it.
Me: OK then...

"Tyler, not my fiance, maybe"

-xptolevel3 2019

Better idea for the thieves guild one,

"I give false name,"
"Roll deception"
roll and pass
"Well, I know that ain't your name, but ya know what? You got yourself some skill, almost had me convinced for a second." And then play out the encounter like that was the first step of the player being scoped out.

It sounds like OP #1 already made their human fighter interesting. I could tell by the way that they wrote that he was a fun character, and I woulda loved to have him in my game. Shame the DM couldn't see that.

"It's about fun" proceeds to kill any fun
Replace that dm immediately

That "dont be pedantic" story got to me.
>Be level 6 sorcerer
>SBEG Casts silence on me
>I try to use subtle spell to cast fireball.
>DM: "Dude you can't use verbal components while in silence"
>Me: "Subtle spell makes it ignore vocal and somatic"
>Dm: "Dude quit trying to metagame."
>Cant cast spells that entire fight and am taken down in 3 turns.
>Party is taken down and all my shit is taken.
>Get yelled at by other player for talking back to dm.

I was literally watching how to be a good DM with Matt Mercer.

I feel like the silence, trap guy was just waaaay to smart for his dm and the dm got annoyed by the fact that he got outsmarted in every encounter^^

I actually recognize the angel from the first story, her name is Vildeis, she's an angel empyreal lord from Pathfinder and would absolutely NOT try to strongarm someone into following her or damn them if they refused.