I think the scene in the pub when Sein exasperatedly says "Just start dating already!" is basically the creative team saying what most of the audience is thinking.

Most guys, 3 years later: was she flirting with me?

Frieren, 80+ years later: was he flirting with me?

It’s how casual and not over the top like most other romances, which normally go for a writer’s fantasy or trope

My favorite misunderstanding was when Stark put his hand on Ferns cheek, it wasnt that gesture that angered her, it was how strong Starks hand was when he grabbed her shoulder that frightened her

Internally, she gets it was a small prank for her previous behavior, but she didnt expect it, because Stark too doesnt fully internalize how strong he is, he tough it was being delicate, but even his delicate, is monstrously stronger than her

One thing that always stuck with me about the demon fight was how neither give a second thought for how the other is doing. There's no worry about i have to hurry up and save the other, its 'I trust them to handle that while I focus on this.' It's a small thing but it shows the appreciation of strength in the other.

Indeed it is very realistic. You can literally see how they start feeling more comfortable around each other to the point where Fern joke with Stark putting her cold hand to his cheek, and she did not mind him reverting with the same but getting afraid from his strength. And at the end Fern went to STark when she was mad at Frieren. It is sooo real! it is like putting real tanagers in fantasy world. they are not exaggerated and their growth is not rushed or pushed by artificial events or forced situations.

its a contrast. Himmel loved frieren at first site while frieren only realized how much she loved him after he was dead. Meanwhile fern and stark are taking things slow but at the same pace.

Side note: an old Japanese language teacher of mines once let me know that it is common for elderly couples, and seasoned couples in general, to use formal suffixes to address there partners as a form of endearment and respect. For example, for someone name Sakura Yamato, instead of saying Sakura-chan, they would address Sakura-san or Yamato-san. She explained that in a way it can be viewed as the partners respecting their individuality and loving them for it. I find it cute and interesting that you pointed that out between these two.

Fern also seeing a thing of her own past in Stark. Like the discussion about how Stark wants much experience and stories to tell Eisen about the Journey so Stark can bring back and "repay" through appreciation. Fern does the same but in a "train magic" way. Just comprehensible relationship between this two. Love it.

Probably one of my favorite details about their relationship is that there's no specific start date of them announcing their feelings to the other or anything like that. They both grow closer and they EVENTUALLY pick up on how the other person is feeling without spelling it out, and they slowly shift in how they interact in reaction to learning about this over time. By the end, they are absolutely in a relationship, but I'm not convinced either of them would admit to it as of where the anime currently is.

While 'asking people out' and actions like that are very common in real life, slow progression with a lot of unspoken progress is very rarely depicted, and it's nice to see it for a change, especially since it mirrors how me and my fiance grew closer. It's nice and somewhat nostalgic, even, to see.

Fern and stark rommance is so great as a character simply because these two were written as a characters, and not just love interests

their life dosen't seem to be revolving only around eachother, Fern's every waking tought dosen't always revolve around stark and vice versa.
It's that image of inflated, over the top rommance where stars themselves destined two people to be with eachother, it's just a boy and a girl, that happened to gradually buld a relationship with eachother

My favorite romance pairings often come from non-romance focused stories. They work well because they're allowed to have these kinds of natural, slow burn relationship buildups. I don't mind pure romance stories, but I find that the romances in stories where it's not the sole or primary focus tend to feel incredibly natural. Not always, obviously.

I am German. It seems to me Frieren has not only German names, but also with Stark and Fern a German Relationship dynamic.
By two people starting with a Friendship, growing closer and closer over time until they are basically functionally a married couple and act like one, they just never noticed it yet or made it official.

I love how it doesn't start romantic, and they start by becoming better people and friends

I don’t see how Solo Leveling won Anime of the Year, when all of this makes up only 10% of the entire story of Frieren. Tsk tsk.

I always thought Frieren and Himmel represent unrequited love, not fantasy. She understood too late how important he was to her, while he understood his feelings the whole time, but couldn't quite get her to see it.


Fern and Stark are realized love, two souls who understood right away how important the other was.

In fact, I dont think either of these relationships are fantasy. In fact, they both feel very realistic, kind of a literary contrast to the fantastical setting.

Excellent essay on the wonderful Stark and Fern slow burn romance.

Imagine their kid having Frieren as a teacher. That kid would be unstoppable.

It's slow, it's awkward, it's a little confused, it's warm, it's very cute.

With all the stupid "romance" animes out there these days. Its so refreshing to see two characters communicate cleary with each other. And even if they do something wrong, they apologize and grow from it. The drawn out "will they or wont they" aspect is so tired. Even if we never see them kiss or whatever on screen. They dont need to at this point. They have feelings for each other and care about each other. And its been so much fun to see.