Okay but every weird stupid unrealistic thing Ana does is so easily explained by the fact that she is, in fact, Isabella Swan.

if she thinks ONE dunk of a twinnings teabag is enough, idk how the dude thought she’d be very into bdsm💀

one dunk of a teabag in hot water is a CRIME genuinely wtf that's disgusting

Was there no one else from the school newspaper who could’ve filled in? No? It had to be her roommate with no interview experience who could have seriously damaged the school’s reputation?

Consuming Fifty Shades as a lesbian is the epitome of "are straight women okay??" tbh

Girly there’s no way you skipped over the part in the second book when they’re in his childhood bedroom Christian admits HE CHOOSES A SUBMISSIVE THAT RESEMBLE HIS MOTHER

Fifty Shades is to BDSM as Applebee's is to a fancy restaurant.
It's not at all but there are definitely too many people who believe that it is.
It's like someone heard the idea of BDSM in a dream and wrote it down hours after they woke up.

I’m sorry, what? What do you mean she drinks her tea with only one dip of the tea bag? Like, girlie, are you a pilgrim?

"...and Ana is really scared, because last time he had to go somewhere for a meeting, he went missing for FIVE PAGES. " Why did I laugh so hard at this sentence??! 😭

By the way… Christian calls it a submissive but he would have so less trouble if he used the actual word he wants: a slave.
In BDSM there are submissives and there are slaves. He wants a slave.

saw “fifty shades of gray” in the title and almost scrolled away, but then i saw “lesbian” and clicked immediately

When I read the tampon part, I immediately shut the book and DNF’ed the entire thing. Didn’t read not one single sentence after that. And I think my brain began to heal and regain brain cells after that 😂😂

Having to be talked into marriage by a shitty therapist is probably a sign you should NOT marry someone...

How the heck do people find Christian Grey sexy he just gets so angry all the time and you’re simply not sure how he’s going to react? That’d be a terrifying trait to have in a partner!

This is such a small detail but it bugs me SO MUCH. During the part where he's buying rope and shit he buys zip ties for assumedly kink reasons but that's like INCREDIBLY dangerous, because zip ties can and will cut off circulation to whatever part its tied to. Like its just straight up negligent and if this was a better book it could have been used as a foreshadowing that he doesn't really give a shit about his partners.

I love how casual this all sounds. Like the way you're reading, your comments, it's got a very home-y feel to it.

have i ever read the book? no
have i ever seen the movie? no
am i still gonna watch a 1 hour vid essay abt it? HELL YES.
your commentary is so entertaining lmao

I’m so fucking here for this right now. I love nothing more than a lesbian ripping apart fanfiction. Sincerely, a lesbian who loves ripping apart fanfiction 😘

I love how she sees someone literally buying a serial killer kit and she's like "whhheeewww, how hot, amazing!!" Girl, you need HELP.

the butterfly affect of nine eleven causing gerard way to make my chemical romance, to stephanie mayer getting a wet dream about gerard as a vampire and making twilight, to this monstrosity is so funny to me