2:51
Even if the characters aren’t friends, the players normally are. Rogues will always help their Bard get into trouble.

*god is mentioned
"if his mentioned once more I shall move you closer to him"
I will take this, and I'm going to add it into my arsenal.

6:03 as a DM I never make a plot important npc so aggressive that the players end up killing him out of annoyance. I was a player some time before when our DM did something like this than got pissed. My response.... "Then why did you have him try to kill us? You gave us no indication that he wanted our help and he damn near killed the rogue for no particular reason."

4:31 This one was pure gold

18:34 The mad lad actually did it for the joke. What a legend

For anybody interested i wrote down what he said:

Gauntlets of the Storm Herald
Wondrous Item, [rarity unspecified but its at least rare] (requires attunement by a monk)

While a Monk is attuned to these gauntlets they gain +2 to Attack and Damage rolls for their unarmed attacks.
As a Bonus Action, once per Long rest you can call down a magical bolt of Lightning centered on yourself. Each creature within 10 feet of of you, except yourself, must make a Dexterity saving throw [DC not specified lets say 8 + your proficiency bonus + your Wisdom modifier]. A creature takes 1d10 lightning damage [Damage not specified i made it 1/3rd of Call Lightning] on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. For the next Minute your unarmed attacks become Charged and deal an additional 1d6 lightning damage or 2d6 against creatures wearing Plate/Full Metal Armor. Druing that Minute you may expend that charge as an Action to cast Lightning Bolt at 5th Level.

One day the world will learn. Sorcerers have the same charisma as bards.
A dragon blood sorcerer gets advantage on charisma checks against dragons.

First dnd campaign, as a half ork barbarian, I rolled high enough to split a goblin in half like firewood, my favorite part? My character's name is shump

We don't deserve Quincy, she's too good for us.

You cannot change my mind.

0:56 this is Beau in episode 111 of Critical Role.

For anyone who needs it, the song at 23:50 can be found by searching "Verbalase Justin Timberlake Beatbox"

Just spent 20 minutes looking for it and finding loads of remixes until I found a "No No No Beatbox Explanation" which I urge you to watch.

The party: let's bed down for the evening, who's taking first watch?
Tiny Birb Girl in the voice of an Elder Demon who knows no gender: MINE ENEMIES SHALL SLEEP IN FEAR WITH ONE EYE ALWAYS OPEN UNDER MY RULE!
Defacto party leader: ...... thanks for volunteering, Mini....

19:25 My bard asking the ranger with +15 in Sleight of Hand to pickpocket a random guy on the street for them for the 20th time that session

She's just stopped caring at this point. My character managed to turn a lawful good character into a Chaotic Neutral husk of a man and I don't regret anything

To all my dms with THAT bard make an attractive person a smart mimic that opens up and you can roll play from that

I’m extremely flattered!! Thank you so much for having me in 🥰

4:30
This makes me laugh much harder than it should. Between his expressions and the GFDI Dave song... It's the best.

i thought the joke was gonna be "no, you don't play dungeons and dragons because you asked if your friends can come. that means we are adding at least 3 people to the party for the session, no way"

For my first DnD campaign I created a halfling ranger named Wendt. A year and a half later, I've just begun another campaign with the same friend DMing. What did I named my sorcerer? Staid.

Went and stayed. Is it stupid? Yes. Did it make my DM roll her eyes? Also yes. Did she create another Who's on First scenario when my character tried to introduce themselves to an NPC, just like she did with my first character? Absolutely.

OKAY, IF ANYONE DISRESPECTS THE BLOWGUN COME AT ME! LITERALLY MY FAVORITE RANGED WEAPON FOR KENSEI MONKS! IT'S HILARIOUS TO DO 12 DAMAGE WITH A NEEDLE!

4:38 "GOD. F*CKING DAMN IT, DAVE!"