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Narcissistic Parents: Ways They Left You to Raise Yourself

Jerry Wise

208,644 views

🕊️ You taught yourself everything as a child, but missed out on finding your true self.
👉 Join the Road to Self Program to finally get the steady ground you never had: https://www.jerrywiserelationshipsyst...

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If you feel a step behind, like everyone else got a manual you never received, there is a reason for it. From the outside, it rarely looked like neglect. There was food, a roof, and rules. What was missing was someone whose actual job was to raise you, so one piece at a time, you quietly took the job over yourself.

In this video, I share the specific ways a narcissistic parent hands that job to a child and why none of it was an accident. The child who found a way to raise themselves with no map is still in there, and this time the one who shows up for them can be you. Self-differentiation is how you can do that, so you finally get the steady ground you never had.

✅ WHAT YOU'LL LEARN

🔹 Why being comforted by someone else still feels almost unsafe
🔹 Why learning something basic in front of people makes you feel like a child
🔹 Why controlling people slide right past your radar
🔹 Why you over-function in every room and end up with people who need managing
🔹 Why asking for anything makes you feel like a burden

Through self-differentiation, you can release the false self your family trained you to be and uncover the person who has been in there the whole time.

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🆘 Here's How I Can Help You Heal:

🆓 FREE TRAINING: Build the Real Self You Were Never Allowed to Have
👉 https://jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webina...

🕊️ THE ROAD TO SELF PROGRAM: Join 10,000+ People Who Have Transformed Their Lives
👉 https://www.jerrywiserelationshipsyst...

📞 PERSONALIZED 1-ON-1 COACHING: Work Directly With Me
👉 https://www.jerrywiserelationshipsyst...

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About Jerry Wise: I'm Jerry Wise, a family systems coach with over 45 years of experience helping individuals break free from narcissistic family dynamics. My approach to self-differentiation empowers you to let go of the guilt, shame, and emotional entanglements that have held you back. If you're ready to heal, I'm here to guide you every step of the way.

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⌚ CHAPTERS

00:00 Intro
00:50 Left to Comfort Yourself
02:00 Left to Teach Yourself How the World Works
03:20 Left to Figure Out Danger on Your Own
04:30 Left to Parent Them
05:40 Left to Meet Your Own Needs
07:00 Left to Build Your Own Sense of Self
08:20 Left to Figure Out Love on Your Own
09:30 It Was Never an Accident

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#narcissisticparents #emotionalneglect #hyperindependence #dysfunctionalfamily

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DISCLAIMER: This video is not a substitute for professional counseling. Always consult a licensed professional for personalized support.

20 Comments

@jerrywise Creator 1 month ago (edited) Pinned

👉You raised yourself, and that's why you still feel a step behind everyone else.
✅ Join The Road Self Program to finally be the one who shows up for you: https://www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self
Check out the FREE training at: https://jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027?utm_source=youtube

@julielewis5051 1 month ago

I was jealous of friends ‘normal’ families..

@lizh7777 1 month ago

For decades I couldn't figure out how everyone else just seemed to know everything. It finally dawned on me that their parents helped them.

@bordertown 1 month ago (edited)

This was me. Was just being kept alive yet unseen, left unprepared for everything and having to figure out life alone. I feel like crying listening to this video as a full grown middle aged man.

@403Pantera1 1 month ago

That sense of loneliness never went away.
That feeling has been my closest companion for as long as I can remember

@AshesOfArcadia 1 month ago

Real. I used to come home from school crying after getting bullied, and that my Mom did literally nothing, said nothing, no hug, nothing - almost hurt more than the bullying itself.

@micanope 1 month ago

I learned a lot from strange places. Cartoons, TV, jokes, nothing was told directly.

@Onesimus54 1 month ago

I'm 54 and still learning how to operate an adult life. I'm learning to soothe and calm myself. My parents are dead but their neglect and abuse is still living 😢

@CeciliaOcampo-tc8kx 1 month ago

Being called lazy, to shut up, etc and blamed since the age of 4.....know it all

@paulablair395 1 month ago

No one cared, no one showed any human feelings. I was tortured by parents and siblings. I never could understand why I never had any of the information that everyone else had.

@karlpomeroy8031 1 month ago

Both of my parents were narcissistic. Neither offered empathy or support. They gave me the impression they thought I was so capable of handling my own problems, they didn't need to help. It was scary being that alone.

@jennw6809 1 month ago (edited)

My mom acted like she expected me to be born a full grown adult. She raged at me as a toddler for not knowing rules she never taught me ("Why would you pull all these books off the shelf??!!"). She told a story decades later about how I nursed wrong as an infant. When I obviously needed help in first grade, she acted like that wasn't her job, and I was having a problem to annoy her.

@margaretsims3428 1 month ago

That describes my childhood. In my family, I was expected to be quiet, don't cause trouble and stay out of the way. I definitely was not taught about anything. It is by the grace of God I survived and thrived in adulthood.

@BingoMomi 1 month ago

I worked with a carpenter doing renovations. One job required us to be there early before the family left for work. This was a family that was very successful. I watched them sit together, dressed in business attire around a table eating breakfast, taking turns discussing their plans for the day. They smiled and shook my hand as they left. They jumped into their BMW's and Mercedes and left. I was blown away. I had never seen anything like that in my life. No yelling, no name calling, no hangovers, no strife. I got there extra early the next day just to watch it again! I kept thinking to myself, "what the heck happened to my family?!!"

@brianhenderson4223 1 month ago

Blamed for almost everything that I had no idea I had done

@taylorstratford9717 1 month ago

Nothing more loving than when you are opening up to your own mother and she says to your face, "No one gives a shit."

@angelmonstera 1 month ago

"and they blamed you for not knowing" YES. This is so accurate! One of my two sisters and I were shamed and humiliated for not knowing "basic feminine hygiene" when we started going through puberty. Excuse me? How are we supposed to know what no one taught us? We figured it all out by ourselves, and then whatever we got wrong we learned through that shame and humiliation ritual.

@aw8822 13 days ago

I will never forget crying as a child because my mum wasn’t home and I was in the house alone petrified. I was constantly left alone or with horrible people.