I hate ending up as the BPD's favorite person. It's like you're being asked to adopt this person and baby them, and then reparent them. They have no understanding of how friendship works and they end up ruining every relationship they have. And then you feel bad for having to walk away, but they just wear you down.

I would also add that BPD people tend to talk absolute trash about their past relationships and LIE A LOT all the time, and manipullate people with push and pull and making them feel guilty, etc.

I was with a girl who I’m certain had borderline personality disorder. I know she was bipolar too. My life was nonstop drama with her as she always accused me of cheating on her even though nothing of the sort happened. I left her after she hit me while drunk which was common with her. My parents told me to leave her and stay with them as they didn’t want me to hit her back which is probably what she wanted and would have gotten me arrested. She drank herself to death a year later after a costly divorce. I’m now married to an incredible woman who I love with all my heart. I still can’t believe how much time I wasted with that demon girl. Steer clear of the dramatic types as they will suck the life out of you. Never stay with anyone who brings you down all the time. Live long and prosper 🖖

The label that society slaps on you in your reaction to abuse, does NOT make you the label.

My oldest sister has 8 of the 9 traits. I can’t have a relationship with her and have been estranged from her for over a decade. Growing in a household with someone with BPD was absolutely traumatic. We didn’t understand what was wrong. Maybe it was us… were we the ones triggering her? It wasn’t until I saw one of your older vids about BPD that it became clear to me what we were dealing with. It was completely validating. Thanks for that! ✌🏻

I was diagnosed with BPD at 17. You are totally correct on the narcissistic elements of BPD. Alot of other BPD's would disagree and I'm not speaking for all BPD havers, but me and BPD's I've talked to did very much manipulate and emotionally abuse our friends, family, and partners. This occurred mainly during episodes and if we are untreated these behaviors and emotional outbursts are unfortunately in our nature due to childhood trauma causing an emotional stunt or genetics.
Unlike narcissists it's done out of fear of abandonment and delusional thinking/emotional instability or "splitting", instead of grandiose beliefs and domination over others. We also do feel empathy just in a different way then normal people, narcissists feel little to no empathy. Not to say narcs can't get better because they can, they also have deep rooted Insecurity and childhood trauma and they use these toxic behaviors to mask the inner pain and keep themselves alive.

Ofc saying all that if you are in a relationship with a BPD and they don't want treatment or aren't engaged in treatment DO NOT THINK TWICE.. LEAVE ASAP.
Also protect yourself legally, financially and physically, Even if we are in the wrong when someone leaves us our brains think abandonment and it's extremely painful and drives us crazy. We typically do very crazy things to get you back or get revenge because in that moment we can only feel our Intense pain we have no logic we can't grasp that our actions have consequences we just do what our emotions tell us to do. It's unfortunate and it's a terrible way to live but it could be very dangerous for you.

When people talk about this disorder they speak of manipulations etc.   what I don’t think is understood is they are typically not consciously manipulating. They think everyone interacts this way.

The ex narc insisted I had BPD for years… it was actually cognitive dissonance and since we split and I got out of the cycle of toxicity, I am finally returning to who I was when I met him. Thx so much for these videos! It really helps me understand I actually was experiencing CPTSD.

sharp and crystal clear analysis of the distinction between CPTSD and "real" borderline personality disorder, a distinction I am silently flabbergasted that mainstream psychology and subsequently trained therapist seem not to get; at least in the country I live in.
I have a relative and a friend who are diagnosed with BPD who clearly do not suffer from a personality disorder but from serious CPTSD due to childhood abuse - while I was also blessed with a husband who, obvious to me, portrays the full blown borderline personality disorder but, of course, has never been diagnosed because, as all cluster B personality disorder types, would never go into therapy because there is no self anymore that would be able to notice that there's something wrong with them, not with the world around them.

I fully agree that the largest part of patients diagnosed with BPD do not have BPD but CPTSD, while those who do, are rarely diagnosed.
Living with someone with CPTSD is watching and experiencing a person who's sadly and tragically been seriously wounded emotionally, while living with a real BPD person feels more like living with a psychopath, with somebody who is justifying and masking his/her sadistic, goal oriented destruction (of self AND other) with an out-of-control, over the top portray of emotions in order to obscure and get away with what they actually are doing. .

3:05 Very well known concept called "State dependent memory" ... if you study for your exam while you are high you will score better if you take the test high.

It’s as if they have multiple personality disorder! That’s spot on! That’s my ex. It’s incredibly hard to love and be in love with someone with bpd. They will slowly and painfully destroy the relationship no matter what you do or say.

Delt with her having this for 5 years two kids had to leave before I ended up dead

From my experience (ex gf ticks all boxes for BPD) I genuinely believe they'll never be happy, right till the bitter end. Who would want to spend their life with someone who's manipulative, immature, degrading and ruins every friendship and burns every bridge? Horrible people honestly.

My poor dear son took his own life from his ex  BPD & histrionic-Targeting him to get his inheritance.  Vulnerable after the loss of his father.  Cruel woman is a nurse!  Rip HNMS

My exhusband was diagnosed with severe bipolar disorder but he honestly presented to me as boarderline. He has personality crisis every few months, I felt like he couldn't decide what role he ever wanted in our relationship, and was so codependent that he couldn't even pay the bills on his own.

4:00 oh hey, it's me! 10 years ago I met 9/9 BPD criteria. Now that I've gone through somatic experiencing therapy and ACT, I meet 1/9. Still nailing down my own sense of self and feeling comfortable in that way, but that's to be expected after a lifetime of trauma that included a childhood of being screamed at every single day.

I think the main problem is that therapy isn't ready available for the majority of the population and.. there are a crazy amount of cluster b's walking around undiagnosed.

He’s right.
You can’t have BPD without noticeable NPD more so in stressful situations.
I think it’s used more as a defense and/or when emotionally deregulated. It also created internal conflict whic has causes the guilt,shame cycle and cause decompemsation or depersonalisation.
BPD makes no sense at all. It’s so contradictory to itself.
This must be so painful and
Confusing to live with.

Therapist here - I have also worked through a lot of my own issues w/CPTSD.  Your videos have been a big part of that. The “baked into the cake” analogy re the spectrum of personality issues is a super helpful analogy! Thank you.

I disagree NPD is worse than BPD because BPD go to counseling and therapy but But NPD refuses to even consider Counseling and Therapy.