Hey! For anyone who might need to hear it: your life can change for the better. I'm in my forties now, and finally, FINALLY over the last few years I look at my life and my self and I'm happy. I'm still living alone (with kitties ❤) I'm still overweight,  still not quite making my dream job happen. So the only thing that changed is me, my coping mechanism,  my ability to look at something i am telling myself and know it's a self-sabotaging lie, etc. I just want to tell everyone who might need to hear it today: there is space for happiness on the other side of the crappy times. I'm so grateful for every time someone reminded me of that,  otherwise I don't know that I could have made it through.  PS you're amazing and I love you. ❤

Cinzia, I’ve only followed you briefly, and in that time it’s already been evident that you are heroic. Being a Ph.D student is exhausting. Being cash-strapped is exhausting. Tackling those circumstances while neurodivergent-and lonely-can feel a bit like being the main character in a tragedy, not an epic adventure. And yet here you are, with grace, style, wit, and fortitude, inviting us to elevate ourselves. You’re astounding and fabulous, and you should be immensely proud of yourself.

nothing lasts forever....everything passes, everything changes..just do what you think you should do💫

I can relate to this immensely. From covid onwards I have been isolated with online university, and living in a country in which I don't speak the language, so have found it intimidating and just generally difficult to meet people, especially as an introvert with autism and adhd. Knowing other people are struggling with this type of thing doesn't ease the burden but at least I know I'm not alone in these feelings.

This is such a good video  about being alone and the issues of loneliness.  At 1:50-ish your dogs joined you as if they were reminding you that you are an important and integral part of their pack 🤍 I relate to being alone as an empty nester and also being an introverted loner on the spectrum. I kind of enjoy my hermit life with my dog, cats  and hamster.

Definitely caught my attention with the title

You might feel alone, but we as your audience support you and are always there for you!

I can relate being an introvert too.

I rarely comment but your videos have given me soooo much hope. I was going to quit my PhD but I now have the motivation to continue. Your work is important 💗

i've reached my breaking point, my hope is dead. i'm 43, work and live alone, have adhd and possibly autism and zero friends, no romantic partner and no way of meeting people. been alone for 8 years, haven't met people in a decade. i love being alone but 100% isolation is extremely detrimental and i'm definitely feeling the effects of this on my health.

Often people who are lonely are either surrounded by incompatible or toxic people, or they’ve separated themselves from the incompatible or toxic people they used to be surrounded by.

Isolation isn’t easy to fix, no matter how society’s messages may try to convince us it’s a simple personal failing, rather than a complex communal/societal failing. I’m lonely because I’m objectively quite isolated and friendless, but I’m still not as lonely as I was living with my abusive parents, dating an abusive person, with friends with people who took advantage of my vulnerability. Loneliness is a lack of mutual understanding and support. There are extremely well-connected people who are extremely lonely. I’d rather enjoy the peace and focus of solitude than chase false friendships.

Thank you for sharing this lovely re-framing of being alone! I’m on an adventure, and I know there are fellow adventurers waiting to join me in the future.

"Books save lives, so keep reading", what a wonderful and true mantra!
Cheers from Italy <3

Brilliantly crafted and presented! Please keep in mind that you are not entirely alone.  You have your followers here, sharing your thoughts and feelings.  Enjoying your eloquence and presence, even if from afar.  And, I am certain that if you reach out directly (not on the internet) you'd probably find buddies willing to help move the sofas and with the other mundane tasks after a chat over coffee or tea.  The soul and spirit you present is one that many would enjoy sharing time with.

And being alone is way better than being with the wrong person!  Good video, thanks.  🙂

I live, and work on the road 11 months out of the year, and I have been doing it for 15 years. It is odd to me how often I change from "I love my life, and wouldn't change it for the world, and "OH GOD I AM SO LONELY, PLEASE LET ME HAVE AT LEAST ONE FRIEND!!!". My colleagues are all railroaders in the American south, so it is kind of hard to find someone to share my fascination with religious history.

Right now, I appreciate my solitude, but I  will remember this video when my solitude shape-shifts into loneliness. I can attest personally that keeping a journal helped me quite a lot, and it is interesting to see how my stream of conscious plays out as the days go on. I would like to add that if you do begin journaling, try to select tools that you would like to work with, like a really nice pen, and or, the journal itself, or even a space that you dedicate to that activity.

Great video, Cinzia!

girl, thanks for this video, you're a bit of an inspiration for me

i'm 16, and when i picture myself in 10 years, i see myself in a lonely house full of books and plants, just like yours!

The key word in self-esteem is self...👍

This is brilliant.  (Your dog waving along with you was adorable.).  You articulated what I now see has been my experience. Thank you.

This is such good advice. I am an introvert who has always done so many things on my own and often felt lonely. Sometimes, it has been very difficult for me, especially during transitional periods when I could have used some company or advice. Now, in my 60s, I find myself taking care of family members which gives me a sense of being needed though I have lost some freedom. I have found there is always a trade-off, and since I prefer a slight loss of freedom to loneliness, my life has a sense of balance now. I have family obligations and an online job, and yet enough freedom to participate in my church with people I like or just to take a walk by the river with my son. Finding a way to comfortably fit other people into my life has been the key to surviving as an introvert.

The “imagining yourself as an admired character” method is something children sometimes do instinctively, and can work! I really appreciate the attention to solutions other than for the lucky/privileged.

It is a great video I’ll watch more than once. I do miss some of your old content in the other channels like “things to do instead of shopping on a no buy” and related content. But I understand sometimes creators need a fresh start.

This has been a favourite topic of mine for years. I decided one day long ago that loneliness just didn't exist, for me it was just me experiencing boredom and self-pity at the same time. I don't mean to diminish or invalidate anyone else's experience of loneliness as it's very real and impactful for many, but for me this simply worked and has done ever since. I've got to the point where loneliness just never occurs to me as the reason for feeling down, I think I've built up so many alternative coping mechanisms like distracting myself with hobbies, going on solo camping adventures, staying mildly social with free walking groups or just good old escapism of planning future projects. I hope this helps someone feel better today. ❤