I don't understand people (if truly they exist) who find it hard to sympathize with the author just because she is well off. My goodness, she lost a husband, both sons and both parents - why would her money even be relevant in terms of accepting the immensity of her loss?And the points raised about her being "selfish" and not transforming into a humanitarian can only conceivably be raised by someone who's watched too many Hollywood movies where redemption is uniformly portrayed as a version of altruism. Better than working with the Clinton Global Initiative, for instance, she has given us a wonderful book, and she allowed us to look into her experience so we can have a better understanding of grief in the face of catastrophic loss. What can be more selfless than that?

And it's from the library! -Les

I think this reviewer missed the point of the book in both of her “analyses.” This was a first hand account of the worst trauma a human being can experience - the sudden loss of her two young children, her husband, and parents in a horrific event that was not even conceivable to any of them before it hit. Sonali’s early confusion and withdrawal into herself came not only from the horrifyingly powerful forces of the wave she had to endure for 20 minutes but the “dispersal” of her family she knew would never see again. The “selfishness” some see is her profound suicidal depression and grief that was so painful that she found burning herself with cigarettes and pounding her head against bed-boards easier to bear than the trauma of losing her two young boys. Does one really believe the wealthy/the privileged experience some lesser degree of trauma?!  That is patently absurd and an insult to all survivors of trauma..  All suffering is relative.

As far as the sentiment that most people living a trauma of this magnitude should want to devote their lives to helping people - Sonali DID. For people suffering trauma, reading this book will give them courage to see that one is capable of surviving the worst. Survivors, not book reviewers/readers, get to choose the life they live after their trauma - which, by the way - never leaves them.  It seems it is oddly callous for you to to judge Sonali from your ivory towers.

I read the book because I work with people who have experienced trauma. Sonali’s book is a heartbreaking yet powerful and loving gift to those who are struggling with their trauma.

Wow wow wow. Somehow because, according to the commentator, Sonali is "privileged" and "well-off" she is somehow less deserving of sympathy for the fact that she lost her entire immediate family. This is due to the commentator referencing that Somali's family "has a lot of money" and that she can "go home to this cosy house in London" and due to the fact that she is "a professor who has a lot of money". I am stunned by this analysis. This isn't a feel-good book with a happy ending if that was what the author was expecting: its a autobiography of someone whose life was literally ripped apart by the tsunami and a raw and honest account of it. Yes the less-privileged should have a voice and their grief at the loss of loved ones in the tsunami was no less painful. However do NOT lessen this woman's grief due to her wealth.

Great review.. helped me as I think about how to review a memoir about a privileged, less-than-pleasant person who experiences tragedy (Home is Burning) - very different tone, as Home is Burning is kind of a comedy, but I struggled with the same things - who am I to expect a certain response to tragedy, especially when I haven't experienced it?

i completely agree with you when you said, we cant judge her because we dont know what shes going through. im so surprised at the people telling that she had a privileged life. shes not to blame because she made something of herself. shes where she is, a professor because she studied hard and got to where she was. nobody handed her anything. people who call her selfish are just insecure and just really really hate themselves to say such a thing. thanks for not being biased. and as a fellow Sri Lankan, i know the devastation we went through. and yes she doesnt talk about other lives lost, because why the heck should she? she lost her family she is completely allowed to not talk about anyone else. its her decision and how people deal with tragedy is different. in no circumstances can you dictate to someone "how to grief" thanks xx subscribed.

I read it.I really appreciated your review on this

Good review

Great review. Have been meaning to read this for ages but felt it would be too harrowing.

Loved your review on this book!!!

Great review!

I really appreciated your view on this. Sometimes I think we get even more uncomfortable with women being selfish, in books especially. It's hard to read someone who is being "unlikable", harder, I think, than watching a movie, because reading is more active. But I imagine you're right, that she knew that going to those dark places would get her some blowback and I'm sure she made that choice intentionally. People are dark. People are selfish. I think it's good that our reading reflects that.

Bravo....loss is loss no matter how much $ you have