Harry getting 60 points for defeating Quirrell is like a 12 year old getting a pizza party for finding Saddam Hussein

How to fix quidditch
1. Get rid of the snitch
2. Add time limit
3. Lower posts to the ground and make it one goal for each team
4. Make the field smaller
5. Replace brooms with sticks
6. Ice everywhere
7. Just play hockey

Gotta love how Harry is almost single-handedly responsible for keeping the defense against the dark arts department almost entirely unstaffed the entire series

21:48 Who’s here after he got started on Starwars

Voldamort couldn't kill baby Harry with magic, but didn't even bother trying to throw him out the window just in case.

Remember in a world where you can teleport, they chose nature’s slowest bird to deliver mail.

-Brennan Lee Mulligan

Big A: Harry potter 4 is the peak
Also Big A: Spends 10 minutes talking about how shit Harry Potter 4 is
so true

"Oh damn, theres soul eating nightmares floating around, lets only teach dumbledores special boy the only spell that can stop them."

I like how half of this is “HP world building sucks” and the other half is in-universe quidditch ranting

It’s also crazy that every point the house team scores in Quidditch counts as a point for the House Cup. Like, great you got 5 points for answering a question right, the quidditch teams are going to rack up like 700+ points each by the end of the year

Sometimes you forget Big A is a Millennial and then he does shit like this

Also every business is a monopoly. You already know Olivander, whose family has been selling wands to all of England for 2000+ years puts the Malfoys to shame.

we're not gonna talk about when hermoine just started time traveling one movie and then it never came up again

Quidditch is such a funny concept. Its like if there was a soccer match going on, but there are two random people chasing a rat that they let on the field. And somehow the rat catching is more important than scoring points with the soccer ball.

The biggest plothole is that this story takes place in the 90s and not a single muggle-born kid has a game boy with a pokemon game with him and gets the other kids hooked on it.

My biggest gripe with the snitch rules is that even if the snitch was worth 0, the Seeker would be an insanely important role.  You literally control when the score gets locked in.  If your team is ahead, you try and catch the snitch.  If your team is behind, you try and stop the other seeker from ending the game.  That's a massively important role.  Imagine if in basketball you had 2 people playing catch with a bouncy ball and can end the game after a single shot.  That's insane.

Harry’s parents definitely got rich from betting on dogwifsortinghat

In book two they left paying students petrified for months. They could have just bought mandrakes from elsewhere in the world. Poor Collin losing most of his first year.

I read this rational Harry Potter fic where the whole premise was "Tom Riddle isn't an idiot." At one point he showed up to a wand fight with a handgun and shot somebody, and one of is horcruxes was in space. 10/10 would recommend.

"If my kid was a God-fearing Hufflepuff, I would be fucking furious." is a line I didn't know I needed to hear, that was incredible lmaoooooo