OpenTube

AuDHD - The Tug of War Inside Your Brain

Orion Kelly - That Autistic Guy

24,889 views

AuDHD can feel like your brain is running two different operating systems at once. One needs routine, predictability, sameness and quiet, and the other craves novelty, stimulation, movement and dopamine shaped side quests. In this video, I’m breaking down the AuDHD tug of war. If you’ve spent years feeling too rigid and too chaotic at the same time, this might help the contradictions finally make sense.

🙏 Thanks so much for watching, rating, commenting, sharing and subscribing, I really appreciate it! You're helping me provide validation and support for Autistic people and their loved ones. You can show your support for my channel by doing any of these things:

1️⃣ SUBSCRIBE to my channels.
2️⃣ LIKE / COMMENT / SHARE my videos.
3️⃣ SEND me a Super Thanks
4️⃣ BUY my book: https://orionkelly.com.au

📬 Postal Address:
Orion Kelly Media,
PO Box 457,
Inverloch, VIC, Australia 3996

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

🔵 CHANNEL LINKS 🔵
More Videos: @orionkelly
My PODCAST Channel: @orionkellypodcasts

🔵 CONNECT 🔵
Facebook: Facebook: OrionKellyInc
Twitter: Twitter: orionkelly
Instagram: Instagram: orionkelly_thatautisticguy
TikTok: @orionkelly_australia
Website: https://orionkelly.com.au

🎧 My Friend Autism' PODCAST 🎧
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast...
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6d6UVtN...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ABOUT ORION:
Orion Kelly is an Autistic author, content creator, podcaster, radio host, actor, and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about providing validation and support for Autistic people and their loved ones.

#AutisticVoices #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Autism #OrionKelly #ThatAutisticGuy #ASD

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

⛔️Disclaimer: This content is for general information and education only. It reflects lived experience and summaries of publicly available research. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs. If you or someone you’re caring for is at risk of harm, please contact local emergency services or a trusted crisis service in your area. I always clearly disclose paid partnerships, gifted products, or affiliate links. Any paid promotion or gifted item will be labelled upfront in the video or episode and noted in the description. I only feature products or services I genuinely believe may benefit autistic adults and their loved ones. Understanding of autism and neurodiversity evolves. Wherever possible, I share current consensus and note limitations. Interpret any single study with caution and in context. This is an autistic‑affirming space. Hate, harassment, or misinformation may be removed to keep the community safe. ⛔️

Related: autism, autism diagnosis, Orion Kelly, orionkelly, thatautisticguy, tiktok videos, autistic, autism in adults, autism in women, autism in men, autism spectrum condition, asd, autism spectrum disorder, aspergers, aspergers syndrome, autism in boys, autism in girls, dsm, dsm5, autistic adults, autistic kids, autism mom, autism parent, autism family, autism speaks, autism awareness, autism acceptance, autism at work, am I autistic, adult autism test, autism disclosure, autism therapy, autism prevention, autism meltdown, autistic burnout, autistic behavior, autism symptoms, autism traits, autistic signs, what autism feels like, love on the spectrum, stimming, echolalia, anxiety

20 Comments

@visualmathfordyscalculia 3 weeks ago

This made me think about something we rarely discuss in math learning: a student can desperately need structure and predictability, while also struggling to stay engaged with repetitive practice. That tension can make learning numbers feel confusing not simply because the math is difficult, but because the way it is taught may not match how the brain processes it.

@karens8633 3 weeks ago (edited)

I refer to myself as a “Frustrated Perfectionist”. I’ve been told there’s no such thing, but it’s real, it’s my AuDHD!

@sharonsteplermusic6575 3 weeks ago

"I'm in the laundry and I'm holding a banana" is sooo relatable!🤣

@ericcarabetta1161 3 weeks ago

This constant mental conflict is exhausting, I feel like I never have energy for anything.

@rover790 3 weeks ago

Thank you for explaining this so well, Orion

@oddluck4216 3 weeks ago

Yes. To absolutely all of this.

@ros8737 3 weeks ago

Yes, people say they are routines but I call them anchor points because they aren’t full routines. If I look at the time or calendar again a minute later it’s not because I’m anxious, I just didn’t perceive my bearings because I looked without seeing.

@j.rinker4609 3 weeks ago

I'm quite happy with the same breakfast every day, but I would like different lunches and dinners. If I'm travelling and have a different breakfast each day, I might have my "same breakfast" for supper instead.

@marybussey4473 3 weeks ago

Oh, my, gosh, I thought I was missing something, but I was so frustrated when my son does things like this. But NOW I can help him because when it happens, I will realize why it is happening. THANK YOU for explaining this for me!!! 💙💙💙

@kmrose 3 weeks ago

All my therapists "have never met someone like me." It turns out I'm AuDHD. 😜

@benh5973 3 weeks ago

Oh wow - I’ve watched your videos to learn about my autism because I love your presentation and really appreciate the self and support scripts. I kind of dabbled with learning about my ADHD because the autism is my primary trait, but I couldn’t find any good and actionable advice specifically for both.
And all of a sudden, here we go! Thank you very much, that is really really helpful 🥲
Also, I found myself most in routine vs novelty. I build perfect plans I know I need and are good for me, and after some time I burn them the fuxk down. Yay.

@JenHarper-l4m 3 weeks ago (edited)

This describes me so well. I may mask but inside it’s a constant struggle. It all explains my constant exhaustion and recent burnout. My son has just got an autism diagnosis at 16, my sister got her adhd diagnosis last year. I’ve got an autism diagnosis appointment in December but I’ve always felt like a contradiction and wasn’t sure if I fitted at ASD. I really feel I’m AuDHD. For me the social craving and social exhaustion, craving perfection but not being able to achieve that, routine and novelty stand out to me.

@Bowerbird. 3 weeks ago

Unfinished home projects are my specialty.
End result...I'm living in a perpetual renovation zone. It drives me crazy but I love the variety...and hate it all the same. 🤣

@joelhollingsworth2374 3 weeks ago

Rejection sensitivity & double empathy is the paradox that bites the hardest, in my recent experience. Desperation to get a result in a domain I have trouble getting a window into is uh...unpleasant.

@bryt9851 3 weeks ago

All of it hit. So much so I sent this to my wife, you verbalize my head completely.

@OddboLL 3 weeks ago

Yes man yes I'm a mess.

@markbeecroft-stretton3314 3 weeks ago

I have tried to describe this uniqueness (to myself) in this way - "I will go out of my way to reject the routines of others, whist protecting my own like it was the crown jewels.....which I will then give away on a whim of my own choosing....before deeply regretting and resenting that decision later on as introspective self-flagilation". Fun times!

@lendejeffcoat4943 3 weeks ago

One time I decided I wanted to paint my house. I painted the front, the sides and when I went to the back that was it. I couldn't finish it. It was still unfinished when I sold it. I can't tell you how many projects I have laying around that are almost finished. I'm notorious for starting a new hobby and abandoning it suddenly. I never know how long I've got to hyper focus on and enjoy something before it's over. Some of the hobbies I invested a chunk of money into.

@shmeleu 3 weeks ago (edited)

Routine lasts Monday - Wednesday 😁, second part of the week ADHD takes over and you come up with a new routine for the beginning of the next week.

@AegisBea 3 weeks ago

Except for that I’m allergic to bananas, you describe me perfectly! It’s wild how people can be so alike but live all over the world with nothing else in common. Yet the understanding is deeply invaluable.