And I wondered.. Can a man cheat if he never even committed to me?..

Carrie calls Big from  Abu Dhabi and tells him she kissed Aidan. When she returns to New York, Big greets her with a smile and some jewelry as present for her... cheating? He definitely slept with someone else while she was away, before or after her call.

Big and Carrie weren’t exclusive for a long time (if ever?). I always thought of Carrie as the woman Big saw when he was in between girlfriends. Hence why he never wanted her stuff at his place and the doorman didn’t let her upstairs (that pinged me at 13!)

Both Big and Carrie are cheaters, repeated. If Big stopped cheating it was because he was older and tired not because it was against his morals.

Big wanted a separate apartment two day a week 😂

For sure he found a Carrie to replace Carrie. Once a cheater always a cheater

I think Carrie’s definition of cheating changes regularly. Carrie’s too afraid to define things because she’s afraid he will say no or that she would have to abide by it too. Their relationship was always messy for this reason. Big liked it because by not defining things, he was free to do as he pleased. However, their relationship stayed casual for the same reason.

He probably met Natasha right before he went to Paris.

Where they ever really together 🤕, it’s the most intense situationship  sometimes relationships that ended up in marriage

I saw this in another video, but there's a theory that he wanted Natasha to find Carrie in their apartment during the affair. As in he lied to Carrie when Natasha was really coming home, so that when she found Carrie, she could make the move to divorce him. To this day, I think he might have done this.

They are both seriel cheaters, yes. But i think they're a different kind of cheater. Carrie acts out impulsively and regrets later (the waiter on the balcony guy, then sleeping impulsively with big, then kissing Aiden). Big is a different breed. He intentionally seeks out women, has a pool of dates/partners and is always looking for more. Every time Carrie cheats, we see her suffering. And I don't think Big ever does. He fucks around witout a care in the world.

carrie drove me crazy by never digging for that “yes/no” answer when he would dodge around … or not prying deeper into his past relationships when discussed. like u wont ask him directly when u get the chance but u can go and stalk all his exes? …

Somebody as narcisstic as Big would feel justified in cheating once Carrie kissed Aiden.  He got that call, thought, "Bank of Madrid" did his thing, and bought the ring to make her feel better and assuage his own guilt. Ring bought, all is forgiven.

I mean I could believe he didn't cheat, but not for lack of wanting to. If he didn't cheat it's because he didn't have any willing prospects (because he was old and didn't want to be outside), and Carrie monitored his communications

20 years later and we are still talking about it haha.

In the second movie when Big finally returns back to their ‘home’ and carrie asks him ‘where have you been?’. Interestingly he says the EXACT same thing Carrie says to Aiden after Natasha catches her ‘I’ve been walking around all day’. And a nonchalant look. Did big see the ‘bank of Madrid lady’? The writers do have a strict economy with script. The fact they both USE the same response. Why??? To me it is a clear sign that Big had done something similar. I agree with you completely that giving your WIFE a black diamond as ‘punishment’ is guilt-gifting. Almost an ‘ok-we are equal now and this creates a ‘new start’ between them.

Also I wonder when Julia Woods clocked Carrie asking Big to speak in private after Samatha spotted him having dinner (not in Fung Wa type place). Did Julia dump Big? Is that why when he rang Carrie to ‘confirm’ plans on the Saturday and add ‘I miss you baby’? Because he knew as always that Carrie would accept his lame ass behaviour. But then again, as you state in this upload, Carrie was just as devious x

Big has always been the one Carried cheated on others *with*, he always had the power over her and knew it. Yes I think he cheated on her throught he course of the show or even marriage, but hearing she kissed someone else disturbed his self image and his feeling of control over her.

It would have been interesting to have a series called “John” where we see his life and the plot from HIS perspective. It always struck me that even though Carrie was the main character of sex and the city, she was just a side character in John’s life, and it would be interesting to see his relationships folding and unfolding and Carrie just being an accessory to that. I feel like even when they were married, she was still his side piece 🤣

In the show when Carrie loses Pete because she's arguing with Big on the street, she goes baxk to Aiden and says she was just taking a walk after missing for hours. In the 2nd movie Big is missing for 2DAYS and cones back saying he just went for a walk..I think he had a hotel stay with bank of Madrid lady

I stand by thinking that Carrie was always the side chick until they got married basically

I would also argue that Carrie was able to sweep Aiden’s cheating under the rug in AJLT because Big had her trained in their marriage.