Juliane Steffen, therapist, relationship coach, and author, explains why some people sabotage a relationship precisely when it is actually going well. Instead of being able to enjoy security and closeness, doubts, withdrawal, conflict, or new drama suddenly emerge. But why do we hold on to relationship patterns that make us unhappy?

Together, we discuss why a calm and stable relationship can feel unfamiliar or even boring, why we unconsciously keep creating drama, and what may lie behind the fear of genuine closeness. Juliane explains the role that self-worth, fear of commitment, and past relationship experiences can play – and how we can stop destroying the very thing we actually long for.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why we can sabotage relationships even when everything is actually going well
Why drama can sometimes feel more familiar than security and genuine closeness
How fear of commitment and old relationship patterns influence our relationships
Why we suddenly develop doubts or pull away as soon as a relationship becomes more serious
How self-worth and fear of abandonment are connected to self-sabotage in relationships
How we can recognize unhealthy relationship patterns and change them step by step
How we can learn to tolerate closeness and a healthy relationship

00:00:00 – Intro
00:02:22 – Relationship Patterns: Why We Need to Start With Ourselves
00:07:05 – Why Healthy Relationships Can Sometimes Feel Wrong
00:10:18 – Drama, Self-Doubt & Overthinking: What’s Really Behind It
00:14:50 – Self-Sabotage: Why We Sabotage Relationships When They’re Going Well
00:18:56 – Fear of Commitment: How Conflict Can Sabotage Closeness and Relationships
00:23:14 – Why Drama Feels More Familiar Than a Calm Relationship
00:25:20 – Childhood & Relationship Patterns: Why We Adapt Ourselves for Love
00:43:18 – Clinging or Withdrawing: How We Avoid Vulnerability
00:47:21 – Setting Boundaries: Why Some Relationships Don’t Survive Your Growth
00:54:06 – Bodywork & the Nervous System: How We Reconnect With Ourselves
00:57:53 – The Final Question for Juliane Steffen

More from Juliane:
Book “Umarme dein Drama”: https://link.amazon/B0gLa75dO *

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