This whole saga is going to end with this woman being given a restraining order if she continues to break these boundaries

At this point, if I were the dad, I'd flat out say, "I don't think you should marry her and if you do I'm not coming to the wedding.  Don't bring her to my house, ever, either".'

That girl is obsessed. Almost like a little kid wanting to play with OP and his family like Dolls.

The fact that Abby admitted only dating John because she wanted his dad as her dad, and John STILL hasn't left her is mind- boggling!!

Everyone in this story is far too patient, polite and understanding

I really dont understand how anyone can try to demand to be seen as part of a family. You cant force love. You cant demand a bond if they dont feel the same about you. It just doesnt work that way.

Ok even if OP saw her as a second daughter, that does not entitle her to the same level of closeness. My dad is closer to my sister because they have interests and hobbies in common. He still loves us both, but it just happens that we have a different relationship. This woman clearly does not understand how family dynamics work in the slightest

OPs son: I'll handle it
Abbie: Becomes even more unhinged.
Abbie saying "this is not what i wanted" yea no shit! When you force a relationship of any kind its gonna blow up in your face!
Also the son just NOT HELPING! "You need to come over. Just you. They both came."
Abbie thinking she can just invite the ex wife for Thanksgiving?! Holy hell these two are completely deranged. John really needs to snap out of it. He's still young & can 100% find a woman who's not as crazy pants as Abbie.

I think OP and Sally are missing a HUGE opportunity by not going to a therapy session with Abbie, so they can explain their boundaries in front of Abbie's therapist and get the therapist, to see Abbie's delusional state.  Then in the future have that card to play when Abbie misbehaves, "Do you want me to call your therapist and tell them how you are violating my boundaries!?!"

100% the ex-wife drops Abbie completely if John and her break up.

Every time I’ve heard this story and every single update that comes out, Abby gets even crazier than the last time I’ve heard. She’s obsessed with OP and his family or better put, she’s obsessed with the idea of having a family. So much so that any kind of pushing against it doesn’t make her see reality but push further and further in. Now I’m not a psychologist or mental health professional but from what I know, this is what’s happening.

Also I just gotta say something that in the off chance John sees the comments of this video. Johnny boy, c’mere I got something to tell ya, GET ABBY OUT OF YO LIFE SHE IS ABSOLUTELY CRAZY AND AIN’T GETTIN ANY BETTER, MY FRIEND!

I wouldn't cut John off but I would tell him that for the foreseeable future Abby is no longer welcome in our home....With a new baby on the way we do not need her drama and the fact that she is bff's with my ex who is feeding into this drama is another reason because my ex has NO place in my current life and NEVER will. Then I'd block Abby and have Wife block her as well.

This girl sounds as dangerously obsessed as the sister in that other story about the OP whose sister was obsessed with getting OP back with her ex just so that they can both be dating besties.

Op son need to get rid of crazy now!

Someone in the BestOfRedditUpdates page posted a comment that seems to sum up a lot of this family: They are a family of doormats dealing with a boundary-pusher. Lots of people question why the hell John is still with Abby, I say that he is just emulating what he saw throughout his whole life, probably with bio-mom — his entire family bending over backwards to deal with this domineering and pushy person who doesn't respect others. It's way past time for OP and the rest of the family give John a definitive ultimatum because all this situation is building up to probably a terrible occurrence, and instead, they tell Abby their bounderies, she pushes it in some sort of way, they get angry and DO NOTHING ABOUT IT. With this child coming soon, ai really fear this is going to end in a disaster.

The obsession with John's dad should have been a red flag for him but clearly he's got blinders on.

My daughter has been married for over 20 years, and we call each other, the in-laws, by our first name. It's what we are comfortable with. It doesn't diminish the love and respect we have for each other. Abby has some deep seeded issues that may never be resolved. Especially with the ex-wife feeding into it just for sport.

I've got a feeling psycho Abbie will get keep pushing and grow more and more hysterical the less she gets her way.
She'll probably also start being more hostile to Sally for not giving her what she wants and to Sally's partner out of jealousy cause OP actually likes her
I won't even be surprised if she tries to steal family heirlooms or whatever could be seen as such and even while being arrested kep screaming and crying she "deserves it cause she;s family" and try to force her way in to "meet" the baby and try to snatch him.

Perfect beginning of a thriller with a new obsessive family member

I can't be the only person that finds it icky calling random people mom/dad. My X MIL wanted me to call her mom. Nope, that never happened. I already know that I'd probably feel uncomfortable with a DIL/SIL calling me mom. I cannot be the only person. This is so creepy.