Psychoanalyst Erica Komisar: How Motherhood Became a Crime
Mighty Pursuit
61,900 views
How did we get to a point where stay-at-home moms became enemies of the feminist movement? Where the work of raising children is seen as less valuable than climbing the corporate ladder?
You know the moment. You’re at a social gathering and someone asks, “So… what do you do?” You say you’re home with your kids. And the room goes quiet. Blank stares. Maybe even judgment, especially from other women.
If that’s you, it can feel like you’re doing something wrong by attending to your children full time. And if you’re the one giving that reaction, you might rattle off all the reasons career should come first.
But here’s the problem: when we diminish the work of parenting, it doesn’t just drive women into identity crises. It makes kids suffer. When we treat parenting as secondary, children absorb that ambivalence. Especially in the earliest years, when their brains are still forming.
And when those children grow up to become tomorrow’s leaders — carrying fragile mental health, poor resilience, and broken attachment patterns — society doesn’t hold steady. It starts to fracture.
For a topic this urgent, we knew we needed someone who could cut through the noise. Erica Komisar is a feminist icon in the truest sense — an entrepreneur, a psychoanalyst, and a cultural voice who celebrates that women now have choice. She doesn’t believe every woman should have children. But she’s unapologetic about this: if you do, the first years of life carry consequences our culture can’t afford to ignore.
Over the last two years, millions have tuned into her interviews, drawn to her rare mix of honesty and expertise. After decades of guiding families through the hidden forces that shape children, she’s spent her career showing what it takes to raise kids who are secure, resilient, and ready to inherit the world.
If you’re searching for clarity on your own purpose and value, this conversation won’t just affirm you.
It will reframe how you see the work of parenting itself.
Chapters:
0:00 - Intro
2:17 - The Complicated Relationship Between Feminism & Motherhood
33:15 - The Fantasy Of Having It All & Deciding To Have Kids
53:43 - Is Parenting Harder Than Ever Before?
1:09:27 - The Differences Between Mothers & Fathers
1:19:20 - The Financial Realities of Having Children
1:32:05 - The Decision To Use Daycare or a Nanny
1:40:42 - Erica’s Own Story of Parenting & Entrepreneurship
Related Episodes:
Dr. Becky Kennedy: The 5 Parenting Mistake...
Mighty Pursuit Links:
Website: https://www.mightypursuit.com
Instagram: Instagram: mightypursuit
TikTok: TikTok: mightypursuit
X: https://x.com/MightyPursuit
Erica Komisar Links:
Instagram: Instagram: ericakomisar
For business inquiries: hello@mightypursuit.com
20 Comments
My parents both put their kids last to their careers, prestige, and personal wants like fancy cars and things for strangers.
They had no friends and enjoyed work more than they enjoyed each other or being with us. We were often left home alone when we were 4 years old and then left alone for a week at a time while they vacationed when I was 12 and my sister was 10.
We were the last of any of their concerns.
I wanted my children to know they were #1 and our top priority.
Our students have home economics and nursing and health care as subjects.
I teach health care and nursing. Even if they won‘t go into health care occupations they‘ll learn a lot for life.
My favorite topic is pregnancy, birth and child care. My students love it too. Boys and girls.
I think it‘s so important to teach teenagers real life skills.
So I went to a licensed Psychologist, mother of 4 by the way, and I asked if it’s harmful to my baby if I leave him to return to work. She said it is perfectly fine, kids thrive in daycare and all is peaches. I can’t believe how reckless and irresponsible she was to say that, especially in the age where there was not much literature about it.
I ended up returning, part time, which I regret, I should have stayed home. On the other hand, shortly thereafter my husband started showing signs of his abusive side, and created an atmosphere of house of horror, it was terrifying to be around him and he was completely unhinged. I ended up divorcing him when kid was 5. I relied desperately on my job/ income.
I strongly believe you should stay home with young kids. But before you marry you really have to think long and hard Who you marry and ensure your spouse is reliable and mentally stable, so you can safely lean on him.
I love the work Erica is doing, we need this word to be spread broadly, because years ago you could find nothing in literature about it, unless maybe you were insider/researcher.
Psychoanalyst Erica Komisar: How Motherhood Became a Crime
Mighty Pursuit
61,900 views
How did we get to a point where stay-at-home moms became enemies of the feminist movement? Where the work of raising children is seen as less valuable than climbing the corporate ladder?
You know the moment. You’re at a social gathering and someone asks, “So… what do you do?” You say you’re home with your kids. And the room goes quiet. Blank stares. Maybe even judgment, especially from other women.
If that’s you, it can feel like you’re doing something wrong by attending to your children full time. And if you’re the one giving that reaction, you might rattle off all the reasons career should come first.
But here’s the problem: when we diminish the work of parenting, it doesn’t just drive women into identity crises. It makes kids suffer. When we treat parenting as secondary, children absorb that ambivalence. Especially in the earliest years, when their brains are still forming.
And when those children grow up to become tomorrow’s leaders — carrying fragile mental health, poor resilience, and broken attachment patterns — society doesn’t hold steady. It starts to fracture.
For a topic this urgent, we knew we needed someone who could cut through the noise. Erica Komisar is a feminist icon in the truest sense — an entrepreneur, a psychoanalyst, and a cultural voice who celebrates that women now have choice. She doesn’t believe every woman should have children. But she’s unapologetic about this: if you do, the first years of life carry consequences our culture can’t afford to ignore.
Over the last two years, millions have tuned into her interviews, drawn to her rare mix of honesty and expertise. After decades of guiding families through the hidden forces that shape children, she’s spent her career showing what it takes to raise kids who are secure, resilient, and ready to inherit the world.
If you’re searching for clarity on your own purpose and value, this conversation won’t just affirm you.
It will reframe how you see the work of parenting itself.
Chapters:
0:00 - Intro
2:17 - The Complicated Relationship Between Feminism & Motherhood
33:15 - The Fantasy Of Having It All & Deciding To Have Kids
53:43 - Is Parenting Harder Than Ever Before?
1:09:27 - The Differences Between Mothers & Fathers
1:19:20 - The Financial Realities of Having Children
1:32:05 - The Decision To Use Daycare or a Nanny
1:40:42 - Erica’s Own Story of Parenting & Entrepreneurship
Related Episodes:
Dr. Becky Kennedy: The 5 Parenting Mistake...
Mighty Pursuit Links:
Website: https://www.mightypursuit.com
Instagram: Instagram: mightypursuit
TikTok: TikTok: mightypursuit
X: https://x.com/MightyPursuit
Erica Komisar Links:
Instagram: Instagram: ericakomisar
For business inquiries: hello@mightypursuit.com