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Things That Felt Rude in Sweden — But Were They?

Simply Globish

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Some things in Sweden felt surprisingly rude to me when I first moved here.

A guest who barely spoke to me. Short messages at work. Saying “no” to cake and discovering that apparently… no really does mean no. 😄
But after more than a decade in Sweden, I’ve realised that it isn’t always easy to know what is cultural, what is personality — and what I may simply have interpreted differently.

In this video, I’m sharing a few real moments from my life in Sweden — including some I understand much better now, and a couple I’m honestly still not sure about.

If you’ve ever wondered “Is this a Swedish thing… or just this person?”, you might recognise some of these situations.

💬 What’s something in Sweden that you initially took the wrong way — or still haven’t figured out? Let me know in the comments.

Chapters
00:00 Rude… or just Swedish?
00:37 When “no” actually means no
01:40 Why does that message sound angry?
02:19 Some things I still don’t understand
03:26 If you need help, ask?
04:48 So what IS the Swedish rule?

Thanks for watching,
Ying
Simply Globish — helping internationals build a life in Sweden.

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8 Comments

@SimplyGlobish Creator 1 month ago Pinned

I’m genuinely curious about this one 😄
Were some of these situations cultural differences… or simply personality?
And what’s something in Sweden that you initially took the wrong way — or maybe still haven’t figured out?

@danhanqvist4237 1 day ago

I would have helped you with the bags. But there is a pretty clear difference between assisting an ablebodied adult with a mundane task (help that some might find offensive, actually) and helping someone in winter on a road after a traffic incident. Not really comparable situations.

@davidip9236 3 weeks ago

❤❤❤❤❤😊

@birgittalindahl600 4 weeks ago

I think it's a case of not quite knowing what to do. I don't think the people that left your mother standing in the hall were rude, it just didn't cross their mind she would want to come in. I think many things are just down to circumstances. If a Swedish person really wanted to be rude to you they would let you know it. Some people are more open some are more closed and if a person doesn't quite know what to do they will rather do nothing at all than to do the wrong thing.

For about 60 years ago it wasn't uncommon that people would ask again if you said no to cake. To ask again and again is called ( att krusa) it's a habit that has died. No one does it anymore.

Swedish men or women will help when it's obvious you need help but stop assuming people can read your mind because they can't. I think assuming other people "should know" is one of the worst things you can do to another person. Ask for help when you need it.
By the way I love your posts. ❤️

@danhanqvist4237 1 day ago

The cake thing.... This might actually be a generational or region thing. There is a special word for the hostess coaxing you to have some cake: "truga". I've grown up with a ritual not at all unlike what you described for China. And that is how we've always played it in our family. You always off, you always coax a bit, and you must never -- ever -- run out of the stuff.

@danhanqvist4237 1 day ago

That treatment of your mother is very strange. Would absolutely not have happened in our house under any circumstances.

@Vendelcrow1948 3 weeks ago

Hej!
Even if you said no thank you,but after a spell changed,you could say,that cake look very etable,so you could say,I really have like to take a cake,and nobody would take offence,we all humans change all the time...🤡.🍰
Mikke ;-D