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When I was in my twenties, I did some stupid stuff. My mom, God rest her soul, showed up to every court appearance  with me. And there were many. They were federal charges, serious charges. I was polite and attentive every time. At the end of it, I received a reduced sentence. And the judge actually acknowledge the fact that she showed up every time. And she helped change the outcome. He said it flat out . I will always be very grateful to her , because I know not everyone. Is as fortunate as I was. To have their mom,in their corner.

I was emotional when the judge ruled that my abuser was allowed to continue abusing me…he had no idea why I was upset…got a new judge who had to hold back in order to not embarrass the previous judge. It’s disgusting. They should have consequences for the rulings they make.

When I was in the Court room, the Judge asked me a question.  I could not see her clearly so I stood up so I could address her directly by looking at her eyes and  answer her question.  After that, she completely changed and was very kind and made me feel at ease.  Not sure I was allowed to stand but I like to look at a person directly when they ask me a question.

Don't laugh and joke with your attorney, no matter how much your attorney tries to engage you.  Be serious because appearing in court is a serious matter.

In the first 90 seconds the Judge will notice your:

-Composure
-Credibility
-Your posture towards authority
-Precision
-Proportionality

-Mental & Emotional Stability..

NO REACTION WHATSOEVER TO THE OTHER SIDE..
YOUR TURN WILL COME..
BE PRESENT..

So IMPORTANT..


Thank you Rebecca🏆✨️

Yeah until you have a judge that has a conflict of interest and doesn’t read your file doesn’t enforce the previous order and accepts evidence that is not reliable. Complete abuse of his power.

This is definitely not the peoples court. It’s judges ego that rules.

I got dragged through hell by an ex when i was in my early 20s. I didnt have family or money or really understanding how to be normal. I grew up as a grease monkey and im mildly autistic. After my first court date i had a random lawyer tell me to get a suit. I figured it out after that point i was still learning but i was looking like i cared and paying attention. It made all the difference even with her family being tied with local pd and gov eventually i got through it without too much damage. That one old man lawyer in an elevator made everything better with his advice. About halfway through the 8yr ordeal i found that old man and his wife on a boat stuck as the tide was going out and i got them unstuck and towed them with my paddle board 😂 about a mile. Didnt actually realize it was him until we got him back and he said im glad you listened that day. Funny how he saved me and i saved him.

What always AMAZES me is, that judges can't spot a liar, nor " the games that lawyers play" ... another layer of " law", that I've witnessed failing on EVERY. SINGLE.  LEVEL.

Criminal Defense Attorney for 25+ years... you are absolutely right... Correctomundo as Fonzie would say

If a judge is tired, keen to get through the case quickly, has a large workload, hasn't had much time to look at the case and  makes an assessment within 90 seconds, are they really in a position to make a call that will affect someone's whole life? Often resulting in a life or death situation? In my experience they just do not care enough. I actually agree that they make their decision quickly, often before they have heard any evidence, you can witness this in the demeanor they take towards one side from the very start. Sometimes if a jury is not involved, they discount all the evidence; the boxes are all ticked, they read out their list/conclusions and everyone thinks the outcome is obvious, and then they make a random out-of-the-blue call for the opposite result with no evidence to back it up. It feels like a power-trip to be honest - 'I am doing this because I can'.

Judges are now in the same class as a dishonest transmission mechanic. And will forever remain there.
Period.

The majority of judges don't practise justice. Rather, they practise whatever lies they'll believe for the day.

Years ago a mechanic was hit with a $2000 fine for not having a compressor license. This was his first brush with the law. He had no experience with the court system.Dude was terrified! While everyone in the court was dressed plain, he was dressed like he was going to the Oscars. The judge looked at him like she was looking at the pyramids. The fine was reduced to $250 and she gave him 6 months to pay it. Yes appearances make a difference.

So much for the theory that justice is blind. A person's credibility depends on a judge's first impression? Has anyone's first Impressions ever been wrong? Does a first impression mean that evidence is viewed differently? Does the person making the best first impression automatically have a legal advantage? Human nature yes, discouraging yes. No one is at their best standing before a judge, especially if they've seen this video.

I came from a professional family (not legal)  and I figured out these unspoken rules of engagement with authority a long time ago. They're steeped in institutional racism, sexism and ableism and are nothing to do with justice. Awful, but I've discovered that if you learn those rules they can work in your favour - massively.

The first experience I had of this was going to tribunal to get my son into a local school. There was a panel of three people adjudicating, a secretary taking notes, a representative from the local authority's legal team and me, a 25 year old unrepresented single mum.

The school the local authority wanted him to go to had a teacher who used to abuse children when I was there. My experience at that school was hugely traumatic and set my education back by years. This teacher had since become the head (she later got struck off, her colleague going to jail). Over my dead body was he going there but I knew if I were to stand a chance, I absolutely couldn't make an (at the time) unevidenced allegation of abuse or they would write me off as hysterical and dismiss my case immediately.

I wore my most conservative clothing, minimal makeup (enough to look groomed but no more), prepared and looked organised, didn't react when the local authority representative claimed that the school they wanted to send my son to was a good school with excellent teachers and there was no reason why we shouldn't want my son to go there, and listened attentively and without challenging until I was invited to speak.

I based my argument on the fact my son had brittle asthma and, the school that they wanted to send him to would be too far away for me to reach him in a timely manner should he become unwell. All factual, proportionate and perfectly reasonable. But if my son hadn't been asthmatic I would have based it on something equally practical, grounded and uncontroversial. I delivered my argument calmly, factually and made eye contact with each of the panel members as I spoke.

At the end of the hearing, I thanked the panel for their time and consideration and left. Two weeks later I got a notification that my son had been granted a place at the much safer school nearby. That's when I broke down with relief my whole body shook as I processed how contained I'd had to be and how I had had to totally supress any emotion. Had that happened in the hearing I have no doubt it would have been game over. I was lucky that I was able to contain it.

I later learned that nine other people had gone through the same process and their cases had all been rejected. The panel head sent me a letter praising me on my conduct and said I was a credit to my son. Based on that you can't tell me that presentation wasn't 90% of the battle.

I'm super proud of that young woman I was nearly 25 years ago, and I'm also aware of the huge privilege I had that prepared me for how to conduct myself in those settings. It's a game - and I hate that it's a game with all the hideous, colonial white supremacist origins - but railing against it doesn't do you any favours in formal or court settings.

And understanding and embodying the rules of engagement often takes you a lot further than a technically perfect case.

The problem with me in NYC Civil Court is that I get a new judge at every hearing. In four years, I have rarely seen the same judge twice.

This is exactly why people don’t trust the legal system. Few of us understand the process.

This knowledge makes me realize how narrow the judgement of these behaviors are in this field. This also is the perfect environment for the narcissist to win against their confused and emotionally abused victims who's nervous systems have been trained to fear them and the power they have over them. If narcissistic people naturally respect and admire other narcissistic people, who do you think they will rule in favor of? What are we training people to become? When someone lies about you, these emotional responses are not shocking or surprising to me as a HSP who values truth and takes it seriously when someone attacks reality for their own personal gain and exploitation of society.