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How Often Should We Have Sex?

The Dr. John Delony Show

113,785 views

On this episode, we hear about:
A wife who doesn’t want sex as often as her husband
A man struggling after his military career suddenly ended
A husband frustrated by his wife’s lack of ambition
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20 Comments

@vickimerritt2832 2 years ago

Expecting sex on demand with zero meaningful contact in between is counter productive.

@lindasavary4407 2 years ago

The pressure makes it such a chore. Then the anger starts and it destroys the relationship.

@jaijai1132 2 years ago

Austin, I don’t even know you brother, but my world would not be better without you. Your phone call made me reach out to my battle buddies just to check on them. Your vulnerability moved a stranger to action. Your story didn’t end on the battlefield because it’s still being written. You hold the pen my friend.

@Mary-vp2rw 2 years ago

When suffering depression, my Mom told me that the one thing she knows about depression is that IT LIES. Best advice ever!

@Tinaleann_ 2 years ago

The guy in the military absolutely broke my heart. I pray he gets the help he needs.

@starlingswallow 2 years ago

My 1st marriage of 14 years was a nightmare, intimacy included. After we married, he told me what he liked (huge kink in cross dressing and him being humiliated, which I found out later down the road), after he was finished explaining to me what he liked, I spoke up about what I liked. He called me vanilla, said what I wanted was boring and said, "I will never have intimacy like that." 😢
This broke me and due to church teachings, I didn't realize I had a choice, I HAD to submit to what my then husband wanted....which led me to be used like a doll. The whole thing was traumatizing. I was coerced over and over again because I didn't think I had the right to say NO. After the first 6 years of this, he started watching more corn and stopped initiating. That last stint of our marriage we'd been intimate about 4 times, in 7 years. When I'd break down to him and tell him how important this was for me and us, he said "intimacy isn't that big a deal" and then called me an animal because of my drive going way up in my 30's. Do you have any idea how it feels to not want to be with your husband (because of how he uses you) but at the same time being in desperate need for connection?? It was horrible.
Intimacy is sooooo much more than the bedroom. It's in how you look at one another, touching, kissing, long and deep conversations, helping one another around the house, doing fun things together, etc.
I was hardly kissed or touched in 14 years, even DURING intimacy. 😢

My heart shatters for anyone who's struggling in the bedroom. It's not easy but it CAN get better~ IF both parties come to the table and work on it ❤ it can't be just one of you.
Bravo to this couple for both calling into the show!!!

@kw3113 2 years ago (edited)

I love the difference between husband needing or wanting his wife!! Good stuff there.
There it was at the end of the call- Elizabeth is in flight or freeze. I’d say she grew up in a house with controlling parents. That’s why she’s so worried about what her husband wants. Elizabeth has no idea what she wants.

@radiosilence17 2 years ago

I know this feeling. Second caller had another grown man sitting his truck crying. Be strong brother.

@FunnySennenhunde-rk1on 2 years ago

People weaponize "love languages"

@paulettahobson8413 2 years ago

My heart is so heavy for the soldier. I pray he gets help. HE IS SO WORTHY!!!
I hope we can get a update on him.

@axlent123 2 years ago

My first wife left me after 15 years of marriage. And I still got remarried several years later… not because marriage is easy, but because it is worth it. The second time around is. Better than the first, because I am a better man, a better husband, a better father.

And I still love my ex, it’s just a different love. It’s not romantic, it does not compete with the love I have for my wife.
Having a spouse, having kids is worth it!

@Scepps 2 years ago

Totally, my life is better because of my marriage too, 14 yrs later and never been so satisfied or happy. Kids just drew us closer too, never could have thought my heart could be so full.

@starlingswallow 2 years ago

Austin, I just want you to know you sharing and what you shared had me crying....because I've felt these very things as well~ minus the dying in battle. I have felt, my whole life, like I'm a burden, worth so little, I've always felt like a bigger to everyone around me. These tapes in my mind played over and over and over again to the point that I believed it was truth.
I'm in trauma therapy to walk through my childhood trauma and being abused by an ex for 14 years. It's hard work but YOU are witty this! We all are ❤
I am remarried to an amazing man who treats me better than anyone I've ever met. He sees me, he hears me, and he's been through his own trauma from childhood and a past marriage so we can relate to one another and support each other as we each turn inward and heal.
You CAN do this, brother. We all believe in you!

You matter.
Your life is worth SO much.
This world would be missing something huge if you left us or weren't born.

Sending good vibes and prayers your way ❤

@kaylaotwell9539 2 years ago

I hope you see this comment but one thing I love about you John is that you don’t waste time on your show you don’t waste your viewers time or your callers time or your own. You respect people by valuing time. And I appreciate that very much.

@ginnydavenport3303 2 years ago

The 2nd caller 😭😭😭😭 I was crying the whole time. I wish more than anything this was my brother calling. My baby bro got med sep from Marines and took his own life within a year. He tried to get help thru the military but they kept pushing him off. If this caller reads this THANK YOU for calling & I hope and pray you do what John says and go talk to a therapist. And get into a group of veterans to do life with. Living a life of service even if you don’t do it in a marriage is worth it to continue to live. YOU are worth it. ❤

@joygarrett8397 2 years ago

Need to have romance & intimate connections throughout the day . . those little touches/hugs etc that build physical And emotional intimacy & desire that builds feeling loved/desired in All ways . .

@roadlesstraveled7767 2 years ago

As a fellow veteran, Austin I see you. I hear you. The pain you feel is so heavy. Please stay with us because it gets better. I’ve been out almost three years now and it took the end of 2 years to craw out of that whole. But I can BREATHE now.

Please, please, embark on this path of discovering your new purpose. You’re worth it brother.

@elizabethpieters7798 2 years ago (edited)

- Contraceptives, diabetic meds and anti-depressants lowers a womans sex drive.
- Menopause also lowers a womans sex drive.
- 70% of women lose their sex drive after giving birth, but it is rarely talked about. Some women regain their sex drive a few months or a few years after giving birth, but its not as strong as it use to be.
- Some women lose their sex drive permanently after multiple pregnancies.
- Alot of couples are sexually incompatible and this will allways cause problems.
- Fatigue, resentment, no foreplay, lack of emotional intimacy is also a turn off.
- When you marry for convenience, safety and security and you are not sexually or romantically attracted to your partner, sex will eventually stop because it will become harder and harder to pretend and to force yourself to have sex with that person.

@karenhultgren7810 2 years ago

My heart goes out to Austin. I hope Austin knows we need him here and I hope he gets the help he needs. We all need help from time to time. Don’t let your internal stories/lies ruin your life. You deserve to be happy with a great life. Do not limit yourself. Be brave and dream greatly. Sending prayers to open your heart. 🙏

@sandraweber 2 years ago

Such a great take on the "my love language is physical touch = I need sex". So many men make that declaration. So many women go decades never enjoying intimacy because of it. I have a client that did their marriage counseling with the Author of that book....to put it mildly, it doesn't work out well long term to pigeon hole your partner into fulfilling your "need". The sex topic is so necessary. Intimacy shouldn't happen TO someone.