Truth medicine tastes bad but it's good for you

Lol when I see videos titled, “How to Make the Narcissist Suffer”, “Make the Narcissist Want You” etc. I always thought, “isn’t kind of narcissistic?”

"In Ancient Rome, a slave would continuously whisper ‘Remember you are mortal’ in the ears of victorious generals as they were paraded through the streets after coming home, triumphant, from battle."

“....trauma is reversable....”. YES!    Make the choice to be healthy and then get to it, DO THE WORK.... Thanks Sam Vaknin! 🌀❤️🌀

The magical thinking in the dreamscape of the west and expectations not based in reality caused depression

Humbled Sam took the time to share this knowledge, only a fraction of his expertise. I’m hoping for a part 2 because I have 1000 more questions 😃. Thank you Sam!!

I wonder what it says about us as a society that the magnitude of a particular mentally illness is directly proportional to the probability of success  ...

Sams final message is one of Zen.

I enjoyed this interview immensely, it was insightful, fun,  comedic, and sobering .
“Do nothing “. Live.

Sam Vaknin, your cosmic pessimism gives me hope. The malignant optimism that distorts the very nature of life, manipulates us all and invalidates the very facts and experience we have of life is a filthy epidemic; it gaslights us daily, making us feel - especially when we are isolated and exhausted in todays's hectic and frustrating life - as if we were lunatics. Therefore light is shed not by the optimistic lies, but by the reality of knowing and owning that there isn't much we can do, that we won"t lead extraordinary lives and that we are not as unique and irreplaceable as we are continuosly asked to believe (as when they sell us the ultimate diet, retreat, coaching session, car and clothes). To know this is at least liberating and maybe, from that point onwards, we can humbly achieve that little something that we think is worth achieving.

What an enthralling listen. This rich conversation educated me on so many points.

Particularly in how Vaknin treats adult narcissists as he would traumatised children.

Realising this helps me understand the emotional immaturity of the many narcissus and sociopaths who have targeted me as their supply. It puts me at peace in many ways.

Brilliant conversation to both gentlemen. I hope to hear another.

Sam is a valuable expert....i am very interested in his work and his explainations are very understandable...! Thank you...i am listening in Morocco...

Dealing with Narcs takes as much vigilance as the NARC displays in order to understand, cope and deal with it.  My twin brothers taught me how it gets started with Lies.  Blame shifting is easy when there is 1 liar and his twin who backs up his lies.  Two against 1 doesn't need a third factor, yet they pull off the lie together.  The twin who witnesses against the victim was the one who stole.  Telling a lie to his first born twin saying he saw the victim steal candy and the twin agrees that the victim stole, without seeing it.  A proud first born, unwilling to think that his own twin would lie to him. A Proud Father who also thinks they are both telling the truth, can also believe his twin boys.  Divide and conquer.  The 2nd born twin gains power over the proud 1st born...secretly.  Eventually the 1st born sees the lies and joins the 2nd born in living the lies.  If their lips are moving, they are liars.  Proud, boastfully unable to shut his mouth, the identical twin also harming people for supply.  They are never truly happy.  They cannot keep a relationship with anyone but each other.  Con art is the only art they ever display.  Observed but not followed by the Victim.  I would never want to separate myself from the truth, like they did.  I ran from them, every chance I could.  Stayed away and was afraid I would get their NARC cooties.  No Contact was my best weapon against them.  Standing up for the truth kept me able to move on and upward.  50 years later, I see they have only worsened.

I REALLY enjoyed hearing this talk. It touched upon so many issues that I think about all the time. Whenever I try and share similar sentiments with others they get really hostile and simply prefer to live popping antidepressants and staying firmly in denial.  Thanks.

Try not to pay ! Absolutly briliant.

Aren't the .00001 percent also LOSERS in the END?  Don't they also suffer, and sometimes die prematurely?  If not them, they have other tragic things happen to family members if not them....Rich, healthy, successful people are also not immune to death and tragedy.  You even have athletes who are often Psycopath's in their desire to win and dominate in their sport. Athletes such as Mike Tyson WHO ALSO repeated TWO THINGS THAT SAM VAKNIN said -- that even when he won the heavy weight championship of the world and made 20-30 million dollars or more per fight, he still said that he felt like "HE WAS NOTHING" even after accomplishing his lifelong goal.  "I ALWAYS FELT LIKE I WAS NOTHING, and even when I WAS on top of the BOXING WORLD I still felt like NOTHING and like I will always be NOTHING IN THIS WORLD."  His abuse as a kid in a the nasty world of Brooklyn, growing up around all kinds of ABUSE from his parents, peers and random street people made him an angry aggressive person.  The trauma he experienced helped hone his competitive fighting spirit. Was it worth it in the end for him?  Is he really posturing and pretending to be humble, when 80 percent of the time he throws tantrums and practically breaks down in tears about his low-self esteem and feeling like nothing?
Mike Tyson also said when asked in an interview, what is he most proud of.... he said "besides my children, I'm "simply proud of my existence, that I EXISTED, THAT'S ALL" I noticed a lot of commonality between Tyson's meditations on life to fall exactly in line with many of the things Sam is saying in this video about the value on seeing the MEANINGLESS OF LIFE, and that simply EXISTING is more important than any other grandiose goals and accomplishments.  Even today Mike Tyson constantly reitterattes how he always had CHRONIC LOW SELF-ESTEEM.  This is one of the most macho and respected athletes of all time, who TO THIS DAY still has most elite athletes practically in awe when they meet him.  He was an icon in one of the most macho sports in existence.   Yet he still had CHRONIC LOW SELF ESTEEM AND FELT LIKE A LOSER.  Despite the accolades, respect, money, women etc.....
I'm surprised that Sam does not mention that even the WINNERS are also LOSERS in the long run -- and winning isn't even really WINNING if the successful person doesn't value SIMPLY EXISTING.  If they don't remain on top Financially and in terms POWER, if they Fall from Grace, do many successful people recover if they lose it all?  Say in the stock market etc....?  Do people who lose it all 100% bounce back?  Don't many athletes who are successful sometimes resort to drugs, violence, and possibly experience other unforeseen tragic events that render the success useless?  

Michael Jordan was also an insufferable competitor that literally took it personal every time someone complimented a competitor of his .  After being considered the best ever for many years while still playing, he still was often miserable with teammates and seem to focus more on his hatred of his rivals and insufferable need to be ON TOP.  If arguably the most respected athlete of all time feels a BURNING and COMPELLING need to win at every little game (such as ping pong or poker with friends)  that is basically a self-esteem sickness converging with NATURAL TALENT, DESIRE, and LOVE FOR A GAME.  Even today people worship Michael Jordan 20+ years after retiring, he still makes 100's of millions, and in his recent documentary all he focused on was his dramatic moments and hatred for inferior competitors, that he simply hated because other people complimented them as having some superior skills over Michael Jordan.   If these two guys focus mostly on their negatives even after their WILDLY successful careers, then isn't that a perfect example of even the .0001 percent athlete also feeling like Losers?

I had a hard life being the only one who was treated  differently because i always just found myself being the one who by nature had to speak up against wrongdoing the one whom did not receive the same amount of love as the rest of my siblings and no positive attention or any praise at all no matter what i do however i was the spitting image of my mom whom i think was heavily borderline and would sometimes cross over into narcisitic and even questionable codependent mode regarded the situation it was like watching her shape shift all the time my brother older than me is a covert narc and my younger sister is overt both are extremely entitled and out of touch with reality they where favoured and they had a strong bond or alliance with mother, however i do understand i think why growing up the avoidence of me by my mother happened, and this is just "my own" theory . i learned that my mother had an extremely difficult childhood and that she was even lucky to have had a life that looked quite rose coloured from the outside looking in and  I think she avoided me or could not bond with me in the same loving way because when she looks at me she sees herself and the trauma of her childhood every phase I go through looking more and more like her every day being the scab on a wound that won't heal. and I also had the full Narcissist ballroom dance with my siblings, flying monkeys and all and for 11 years I was the punching bag to a covert Narcissist and eventhouh  all off this happened to me? I strongly agree with the Dr. He is right we play victim instead of trying to understand things better and the fact that we gravitate towards people that we end up dettesting after they leave us means that we have some accountabillity in the matter we willingly enter into relationships with the Narcs because we are broken and we seek salvation in these characteristic types because we also have hiden agenda's and no matter how saintly we perceive ourselves to be we were not coerced some of us even did the hunting ourselves. and in conclution if we  willingly enter into romantic relationship like these and get burned why not leave at first sight of hurt why stay and think we did no wrong when we chose to stay  for the simple reason that we think we are special we all believe that we are wonderful enough to change the other party and we make them our projects  believing that no matter what, we will make them love and appreciate us I am not very educated I have a basic education but I don't need to be highly educated to understand and account,, I think we are  very full off it expecting the same thing from the Narcissist things we willingly give to them, they never signed a contract with us? promising to mirror back the royalties they did not ask for? but ''we''  the the so called victims,we tried to trick them into filling the holes we all had long before they came along. we are judgemental because thr game we played blew up in our faces. we are just a different flavour of the Narcissist no better then them at all.
I was severly depressed for the last 6 years or even since i know myself but i recently just had a truthful 1on1 session with myself and this realisation that being the perfect victim feeling wounded did absolutely no favours for myself i accepted things as they are and that i can not cry when people don't act like i silently and secretly expect them to. this realisation has since freed me from all the hurt and expectations that had me stuck for so long

Dr Sam, I believe your wisdom is so very important for the world to understand. To accept this message is to ‘free oneself’ from expectations of others and the false self’s response, which collectively is ruining our world. Be thyself. Thanks, enjoyed the University level lecture.

😂😂😂 Yes, part 2 please 🙏🍀

Adult merges and fuses with the child. "No psychodynamic difference between incest and idolizing." "The child is not his or her own person."  "He makes a human sacrifice to the [made-up] god." Yes.