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Fake Nice Guys, "Romantic" Red Flags, & The Toxic Relationship Obsession, Explained | Compilation

The Take

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Joe Goldberg from Netflix's You is a master manipulator and a perfect example of the scariest type of boyfriend: one that pulls you into a seemingly great relationship, only to flip the switch and become very dangerous. In this compilation video, we're taking a look back at Joe and other love bombers, unpacking the "Nice Guy" trope (like How I Met Your Mother's Ted Mosby, Friends' Ross Geller & more), analyzing why movies and tv shows try to make the biggest dating red flags seem romantic (from Twilight to The Notebook to 50 Shades of Grey & beyond), digging into the rise of the Anti-Romcom, and taking a look at how You took on the 'eat the rich trope' back in season 4!

#You #JoeGoldberg #Lovebombing #NiceGuySyndrome #Dating #DatingRedFlags #Movies #TV

CHAPTERS
00:00:00 The dangerous truth about love bombers
00:13:47 The big problem with fake Nice Guys
00:34:15 Dating red flags that Hollywood romanticizes
00:48:23 Why Anti-Romcoms are taking over
01:01:24 You vs the ultra rich

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The Take was created by Debra Minoff & Susannah McCullough

20 Comments

@thetake Creator 1 year ago Pinned

The release of the 5th & final season of Netflix's You has us thinking about Joe Goldberg and all of the other bad to downright terrifying on screen relationship tropes, so in this compilation we're looking back at some of our deep dives into how these kinds of relationships play out on screen and in real life... Thanks so much for watching!

Up next, check out our recent video on Desperate Housewives' Edie Britt and why she actually didn't deserve all of that hate: https://youtu.be/-c2-aBwDeTo
Or, for another long watch, take a look at our recent compilation of our videos about siblings & how birth order can affect your whole life: https://youtu.be/qWpTCv1j6TM

@spyrocrashthecats9678 1 year ago

Watching people simp over Joe was so embarrassing. Man was sixteen red flags wearing a trench coat, and I still saw folks saying "I can fix him."

@HodajuciParadoks 1 year ago

Does anyone else remember when we were kids - if he hits you, is mean, poke you, tease you, he like you....nope..what a lie, the worst thing someone can say to a girl. Those are abusers and bad people.
I am so glad for series YOU , finally opening eyes of people....romantic movies are actually creepy. It is never ok to stalk people and other things. Asking someone out and let it flow and see where it goes, is normal, but obsession is not.

@nightwingman666 1 year ago

A nice guy is nice to his target. A good man is nice to everyone. A nice guy expects to be rewarded for his kindness a good man is kind for no reward. Biggest Example Jonah Hill’s character Hal in the movie Megamind.

@childlesscatlady000 1 year ago

This channel is doing us all a public service by calling out the ways storytelling in film has been weaponized to perpetuate harmful cultural narratives.

@strangeostranger 1 year ago

A common misconception - that only Narssist love bomb.

An avoidant also love bombs. They also pull back when the relationship is getting serious, because they cannot handle it.

@ogshadowbringer13 1 year ago

One thing I will say, I hate how people are misusing therapy speak sometimes online. Love bombing is better explained in this video, what it is NOT is someone eager or excitedly romantic early on, it’s about the withdrawal of affection as manipulation afterwards.

@scaryteri8 1 year ago

The Notebook, to me (and no, I haven't read the book) was the most disgusting portrait of what 'true love' should be, and then the most emotionally manipulative bunch of bullshit at the end. It legitimately concerned me when I realised what a phenomenon it was among women. Abusive relationships start with men like Noah. Legit, I fell victim to the dramatic approach when I was 19. Now, at 43, I turn and leave if a man is controlling or emotionally manipulative or something as simple as being rude to servers. Kind, self-aware guys exist, but they are a bit too rare.

@jaimicottrill2831 1 year ago

Good point about the "nice guys" not looking around for someone who might have feelings for them, that they won't consider because they are not the girl they want to put on a pedestal.

@raven3067 1 year ago

The relationship between Joker and Harley Quinn fits this trope. 🃏

@Violet-du9bk 1 year ago

Real love is quiet, content, calming. Oftentimes boring. It’s a straight even keeled line.

@msr0ry7 1 year ago

An example from 200 years ago, Mr. Collins is the OG "nice guy"—polite on the surface, but deeply entitled underneath. He believes his status, manners, and a well-timed proposal should automatically earn him love, as if it's a transaction. Like modern "nice guys," he can't handle rejection and assumes his efforts make him deserving, without considering the other person’s feelings or autonomy. His refusal to take Elizabeth’s “no” seriously shows how little he respects her agency, assuming she’ll come around simply because he thinks it’s a good match and that he deserves her.

@ceceh9742 1 year ago

I admittedly watched the first season of You but I cant bring myself to watch any more seasons especially in this current climate. There’s be an alarming rise in violence against women by intimate male partners. Like this is just happening everywhere, I don’t need to watch it happen for “entertainment.”

@solfeggietto8306 1 year ago

The 13 Reasons Why thing is creepy, it puts it on the kid that he should've prevented her death? That's horrible and not true.

@Krissy_888 1 year ago (edited)

[YOU SPOILER] I'm so happy that the final season of YOU was handled responsibly with the messaging. It didn't always look like they will make it work, but they honed it in towards the end. 👏

@animesjogoseseriesclassica8282 1 year ago

Lately the romance genre seems to be on a endless journey to teach everyone that romantic relationships work like a porn movie where having lots of sex mean that your relationship is great no matter how much your partner hurts every way after that. That is really messed up. 😐

@TititoDeBologay 1 year ago

One reminder the overall arch of these relationships irl, end up in somebody being harmed, hurt and/or unalived.

@kittystetson6737 1 year ago

As someone who LOVES dark romance, as a fantasy I adore some of these characters. I’m self aware enough to realize I would never love it in real life though.

In fact I’ve escaped or avoided them in real life a plethora of times.