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00:00 OP
️00:50 What helped me heal my loneliness
️08:59 Loneliness after becoming a psychiatrist
️14:28 I was also worried about it when I first started my business.
18:13 YouTube is absolutely necessary.

Today, I'd like to share a bit of a personal story.

The online self-help group will celebrate its second anniversary on March 24, 2024.
Thanks to everyone's support, we've reached our second anniversary, so I'd like to take this opportunity to talk about my journey and why I'm doing what I do.

◾️What helped me heal my loneliness

People often ask me, "Why did you become a psychiatrist, Dr. Masuda?"
I don't get asked that question as often these days. But I used to get asked that question.

I was a very troubled child, and I still worry about it all the time.
I think about other people's troubles now. I still think about why people suffer, why they want to die, and what their problems are.

Of course, in the past, I worried about myself.
I worried about my inner thoughts and my own anxieties.

A few years after becoming a doctor, setting up private practice, and starting YouTube, I really stopped worrying about myself.

I wonder when was the last time I worried. The last time I worried was shortly after I left the Self-Defense Forces and set up practice.

But I haven't worried much since then.

So I haven't worried much about myself for the past five or six years.

Yes, that's the kind of person I am.

I worry quite a lot, too. I would get depressed, or rather, I was that kind of person.

As for when it first started, I have memories from around the second grade of elementary school.

My parents told me I have vague memories from when I was little, around four or five years old, but the memory I have is when I was around second grade of elementary school, and that's when we moved.

We moved from Gyotoku, Chiba to Sapporo, Hokkaido, and I remember having a hard time making friends when we moved, and worrying about what to do about friendships and such.

I have a younger sister, and sisters and mothers tend to get together, or rather, become a pair.
Maybe it's because I'm the older brother. But I'm not good at putting things into words, so I never talked to anyone about it and resolved things.
But before I really understood, we managed to get by, but then after two years, we moved again. That's the kind of kid I was.
So I feel like things were always messy from the beginning.

Moving is fine for kids with good communication skills, but I think it can be quite troublesome for kids with poor communication skills.

I think adolescence starts around fifth or sixth grade.
It was a rebellious phase, or a time when I wondered what my parents, society, and school teachers were all about.
At that time, angry 17-year-olds were all the rage.
It was a time of the Great Hanshin-Awaji Earthquake, Aum Shinrikyo, Sakakibara, and juvenile crime. It was around the end of the 90s.

The internet had just come out around that time, so when I read something online, I would wander through various sources and eventually find psychoanalysis. From there, I was the kind of kid who found emotional support in things like science fiction, philosophy, and psychoanalysis.

But I always felt lonely, and it was psychiatric knowledge that helped soothe that loneliness. I really believe that.

At the time, I read a lot of people like Rika Kayama, Tamaki Saito, and Shinji Miyadai, and that was my gateway into reading texts on psychoanalysis, as well as European and Western culture.

That's the kind of kid I was.

But it was the internet that helped soothe my loneliness.

For me, it was comforting to have the world of the internet on the one hand, and the everyday life on the other.
To be precise, I found salvation in browsing the internet, then going to a bookstore to buy and read books.

Tha...