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Finding Purpose in Singleness: A Conversation with Manouchka Charles & Rich Wilkerson Jr | Mature Me

Rich Wilkerson Jr.

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“Singleness is a piece of cake, it’s layered.” 🍰

This week on Mature Me, Rich sits down with Manouchka Charles—preacher, location director, and a leader in many capacities at VOUS Church.

Together they unpack what it means to be single & secure—content in the present while secure enough to believe for what’s ahead. Manouchka shares about the layers of singleness, the pressures and temptations of the season, and the importance of building a strong foundation of character, maturity, and identity.

Her message is clear: singleness doesn’t stop you from walking in your purpose. It’s not a pause button, but a season to grow, to prepare, and to walk confidently in the purpose God has already placed in your hands.

Releases tonight at 7:30 PM 🔗

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📌 YouTube Chapters
00:00 Intro & Welcome to Mature Me Podcast
00:26 Introducing Manouchka Charles
01:16 Fasting, Faith, and Nehemiah
03:27 Lessons from Nehemiah & Spiritual Renewal
04:15 Topic Introduction: Single and Secure
05:19 Rich’s Book Single & Secure and Manouchka’s Reflections
07:06 Leading While Single
08:57 Pressure and Expectations Around Marriage
11:04 Preaching Singleness is a Piece of Cake
13:15 Layers of Singleness: Earthly & Eternal
15:08 Different Journeys in Singleness
16:35 Building Strong Foundations in Character & Faith
18:09 The Desire for Marriage & Hope Deferred
21:31 Contending for Marriage Through Prayer
23:40 Content vs. Contend in Singleness
25:01 The Temptation to Settle
27:02 Dating on a Curve & Maintaining Standards
30:33 Taking the Long Route vs. Shortcuts
34:13 Non-Negotiables in a Partner
36:57 Self-Awareness, Family Patterns, and Healing
40:11 Spiritual Warfare, Decisions, and Generational Influence
44:03 Communication, Loyalty, and Security in Relationships
46:12 Preparing Yourself in the Single Season
49:11 Yearly Self-Evaluation and Legacy Thinking
51:06 Vision vs. Fantasy in Relationships
55:10 What You Watched is What You Learned
58:00 Learning From Healthy Marriages & Mentorship
59:56 Processing Pain & People Hurt
01:02:03 Healing, Forgiveness, and Moving Forward
01:05:13 Grieving Unfulfilled Desires
01:07:13 Trust, Isolation, and Building Community
01:09:27 AA Sponsorship, Service, and Purpose
01:11:40 Cultivating Friendships & Community
01:16:06 Stewarding All Relationships
01:18:48 Singleness, Responsibility & Discipline
01:19:12 Dating Advice for Men & Women
01:23:04 How to Express Interest Without Pressure
01:25:01 Red Flags & Creepy Behavior in Dating
01:32:11 “That’s Not My Type” Sermon Explained
01:37:24 Knowing Your Worth & Raising Standards
01:42:00 Dreams, Creativity & Fasting
01:43:35 Closing Thoughts & Invitation to Comment

20 Comments

@richwilkersonjr Creator 1 year ago Pinned

Leave a comment below. Would love to know your thoughts on this conversation. Every Tuesday morning, I share free leadership resources, tips and encouragements on an e-mail called "Leadership With Rich" – to sign up go to richwilkersonjr.com.

@jessica_frost 1 year ago

There’s something discouraging about seeing a beautiful, intelligent, and gifted woman of God like Manouschka remain single despite her desire to be married and have a family. I believe God withholds no good thing and his timing is perfect. Yet I notice an over abundance of women like Manouschka in our community with a lacking availability of equal male counterparts to steward a kingdom relationship alongside. I can’t help but feel like this is a great injustice. May God soon bless Manou with a Godly man that exceeds her expectations. Because being the poster child for singleness is NOT her story. To witness her start a family would raise the hopes of all the waiting women in our community 🙏🏼

@hannah_mgx 1 year ago

This is a woman who has real authority on the topic, not someone who got married at 19 and wants to tell every single woman in her late 30s how to live

@chinenyeoghonoghor5640 1 year ago

Preach sis, if the devil will attack people marriages, he sure we stop some from getting into it

@MogulTalkWithDarcelLaurie 1 year ago

I absolutely love Manouchka, she is definitely one of my faves! I’ve been following Rich and DC for awhile now. What I find so beautiful is seeing white pastor empowering a woman of color who is pastoring the church. To see the representation of both cultures and two different phases of life, so beautiful. If the church can do this more, we would all be in a much better place.

@chinenyeoghonoghor5640 1 year ago

I love the intro when Rich was like we are both on fast right now and not suppose to tell but now we will get our reward on earth 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@evelynfalaye 1 year ago

She’s such a listener.
I love how she let you speak and then spoke when it was just right.

This is so enlightening ❤
Thank you, Richieee

@kmart2312 1 year ago

I love this, and I absolutely love Manouchka. When I heard her at the Fearless Women conference with Stephanie Ike Okafor, I was like Yes, she is awesome. Girl, keep shining in your singleness until God blesses you with your match!! Blessings

@GretchenH17 1 year ago

As a single Christian who loves Jesus with 16 years sober, this was soooo on point! I love everything yall shared and can resonate so much!

@brendabaker4493 1 year ago (edited)

Great conversation. I’m 63 and never married. A conversation which needs to be had, is what do you do when your season of waiting takes waaaay longer than you anticipated. This is important because it’s easier to maintain hope when you’re in your 30’s, but what about 50’s and 60’s? We also need to talk about the consequences of taking matters into your own hands when you feel like it’s taking too long. My book, She Had to Die, So I Could Live addresses all of this. It’s definitely a challenge to find “peace” as you get older and start to embrace the “possibility” that God may not want you to be married.

@not_92t 1 year ago

to God be the Glory- my mentor brought me here.. I'm leading a Single Crew at my church, and it is not something that I asked for.. But I'm excited to walk this Single Season with a healthy community and to be used by God.. "Don't let the last person that hurt you, stop you from letting the next person love you!"

@cheekycheldesigns 1 year ago

Never heard that quote about “liberal when you’re young and conservative when you’re old” but I have not related to anything more 😂😂

@2022perseverance 9 months ago

Write a book Ms. Manouchka! 😌

@christinek9808 1 year ago

Amen! Some people lie on the Lord saying He said when He didn't, just to manipulate the other person. This is why it's important to have your own relationship with God and have godly relationships where others can also speak into your life or help you confirm. I believe in confirmation. If God spoke to you, He can speak to me 😂

@riannaHermione 11 months ago

Marriage is an outlet to out- give the other person. Love that. Yes. Not just outlive.. outgive

@kimberliecorrea 1 year ago

It is so good to hear and learn about singleness from a Godly perspective, so encouraging. I feel like this is a topic that most churches and pastors don't talk about, so you creating this space for us christian to learn on how to be content in this season means a lot to me and so many people.

@paty0916usa 1 year ago

Note: I was set free from the spirit of rejection through Soul Care... I used to be soo afraid to approach people with this fear of being rejected... and through Soul Care I was able to recognize, cast that spirit away and now I walk and talk to people with a confidence that I never thought I could have....

@Justscrolling321 1 year ago

“I’m giving up this thing..Lord do you have something else for me” literally me, today, ending things with someone who’s be a good option, but doesn’t feel like the Lords portion for me 😢 32:34

@AliyahWashington-t4b 10 months ago

I literally keep having situations where guys say " you have this glow" I really like you. It is the HOly Spirit that is giving me that glow. I love you as a brother in Christ lol

@Jesusgirl98 1 year ago

I think that this is a very real convo from someone who has been single a long time. I think there are lots of women and men who have endured long term singleness and I mean never have been in a relationship or some even dated before .

I think there’s also a reality that this dating market is VERY different where there are fewer Christians or even there are Christian’s but they aren’t necessarily living the lifestyle.
Or people believe fornication is okay even in Christian dating.

We can’t also ignore big cities there are people dating multiple people and looking for perfection . We also can’t forget that black women do face racial bias in dating , dark skin black women colorism and texture hair. Having a cultural difference parents not being born here finding someone that connects. I love that type of like grief of no one breaking your heart but never experiencing love from a person that chooses you or buys you flowers or made you special. You know you are amazing but no guy has said that to you so it’s hard to believe . Anyway, these are real things to contend with because by 2030 about 30% 25-44 aged women will be single . That’s real it’s not a promise from God that you will be married which is something I wrestle with . I love God and I love what he’s done for me but I think of that