Ep 7 also prove, which only break him further knowing he was a litterlly pawn in Cyn's game his own sister(well step sister) and fact Tessa been dead is enough to make even a normal person change, and N isn't just like slightly truamaized, no he is FULL OUT trumaized worse than V and Uzi, even being told this.
Cyn: "You know, you're one of the main reasons I wanted your team to retain your personalities. You always surprised me. Loved doing anything."
Damn, imagine yourself in that place by the main villain of the show and been told that straight in the face...to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if N actually went somewhere similar to N-Sanity in the show...he has reasons to lose it and has the right to kill someone who cause him this hell.
To be honest, N deserved a damn happy ending no matter what anyone says.
Maybe he's just trying to hide something that hurts so much that he basically does anything to protect his friends, loved ones, and his family even if they turn on him, he will still show kindness like he believes that harm is one way, but kind and love goes many ways. If he was like J and V he basically is just what he is a "Murder Drone".
6:19 I’ll be real when I first wanted N and saw how he acts I immediately thought of myself considering this nice persona only stayed for a few episodes then she got mad and went back to being nice, has to comfort everyone yet no one asks if he’s alright, has been called multiple names for being himself, got lied to and treated like a kid (I get treated like a kid Because of my energetic and bubbly personality and possible mental illness) and it’s crazy to think that I immediately noticed this