Number 10 , should  be afraid to be happy. I'm 50 and im still this way. When happiness comes , you afraid of someone or something taking it away. So you just stay solemn in most circumstances.

an abused childhood, and divorced after a still more abusive marriage.  years later, i met a man who had a very similar background.  when he proposed, i was unable to say yes.  to me, marriage equaled abuse.  i was fortunate---he proposed again and again, until i married him.  he was the sweetest, most generous man i ever met.  sadly, i outlived him, but i'm still very grateful for his kindness.

Ive been noticed for being calm under pressure or emergency. I do disassociate & get done what needs to be done.

0:03 fiercely protective of the vulnerable..that's so true 🙂

I joined the Army and found out things like guilting everyone into things was abuse and me not being good at it was a good thing. I am a happy man not letting myself or my family be treated like that ever again. My folks are exactly the same and will not change so I don't entertain it. 30 years later and I am not scared of being yelled at for no reason. Finaly

Number 11 liking animals more is often a sensible option.

I relate to just about everything in this video.  I'm A loner because I'm solo tired of being hurt by trusting, then getting betrayed.  I'd rather live in a cave in the Himalayas if I were healthy enough to survive it.  Be the guru atop the mountain.

This is like a biography of my life.  Wow.  Wish I’d seen this in the 70’s - it would have helped people understand me.  But, it’s never too late.

At 52, I'm only now realizing how traumatic my childhood was on so many deep levels. Every point in this video is what I'm going through. 😢😢 I appreciate these types of videos because they help me understand why I am so fucked up.

Thank you so much for this.  I relate to each one of your points.  I never understood why I have almost a sixth sense when it comes to other's distress.  And I have a terrible time letting compliments and friendships in.  It feels so fake.  And I too find comfort and peace in the little things:  the warmth of the sun, the smell of nature, the sound of birds, etc.

I just thought that I am an overprotective, empathetic, self reliant, modest, non intrusive, calm in a crisis, kind of person. 😂 who knew that all of these qualities came from my dysfunctional family. 🤔

I used my past trauma to my benefit and got to experience things people can only dream of. Because of my hyper vigilant self, I could hitchhike with relative ease in Türkiye, Greece and Sri Lanka, tell the vibe of a car in 5 seconds and not get in. I backpacked on the Lycian Way by myself, slept in temples dedicated to Artemis/Apollo, played with street dogs, and knew my own worth when to drop my backpacking/hitchhiking partner. I got called crazy a lot, people couldn't understand that I knew my gut instincts very well, and I went with the flow! I think anyone with past trauma could use their instincts to their best ability and have trips of a lifetime! I will also say that it will bring out A LOT in you, and challenge you, and if you're not ready or never will be that's completely understandable. Just wanted to point out a way that trauma can be used to your advantage!

Not able to take compliments in my case has also lots to do with hypervigilance. I can sense/feel that most compliments are fake. I only take the ones that are genuin/ really meant by the person who gives te compliment.

I love that comment about birthdays: "another year removed (from the negative event that caused the trauma)". 😊

Right on several counts. I don't talk about my family because they are one source of trauma. Bad managers and coworkers are another.

This is one of the best and most helpful videos I have seen.  It helps to have a framework of backstory to support our current reality.  Thank you.

I'm 66 and grew up in a household with a nurturing grandmother, a quietly practical great-aunt, and a narcissistic mother. Mother made life h3ll for the rest of us. I grew into the person described in this video. Mother passed in 2015, and I finally met a good, honest and decent man who understands why I'm like I am. I still have a lot of difficulty with all the things in the video, but I'm gradually learning to overcome. I may never be healed entirely, but he helps me take those tiny steps every day toward that goal.

This is one of the most comprehensive and accurate explanations of my own trauma responses I have ever seen. I wish I had heard this 20 years ago. Thank you for shining this light.

All of these hit close to home. Some thoughts: stubbornly independent. “Asking for help doesn’t feel like an option, it feels like a risk.” Bingo. If someone says something complimentary, I always make a joke of it: “You must want to borrow money. Is a twenty ok?” Birthdays aren’t usually mentioned in trauma videos, but yeah, I forbid my husband and kids from making a fuss. Our father wanted sons and got three daughters. Our births were horrible disappointments, not a call for celebration. I don’t do relationships, 100% avoidant. And lastly, joy in tiny things, especially nature. Autumn leaves, beautiful sunsets, full moon, squirrels and deer coming up to me. Really nothing people related, I know they can’t be trusted, always hyper vigilant around them.

I had to work on myself when I became a mother to a baby girl. I didn't want what I went through to be passed down to my daughter. I am proud of myself and now a proud mother of 3 ❤