TIMESTAMPS

1:14 What made Peter decide to write cruelty by nature?
3:47 Hurt people hurt people?
5:29 Everyone is a little narcissistic?
9:09 Where are people struggling now?
12:45 The importance of seeing the narcissist in black and white
17:45 Narcissism is not just a defense mechanism
19:35 Anyone can be an asshole
21:30 Lots of people with shame don’t exploit others
23:08 Genes need to be activated by the environment?
29:39 Evolutionary psychology
34:15 Not all narcissists are abusive?
40:05 Peter clarifies what he said about narcissists not being the one collaborating in couples counseling
48:10 Don’t go to couples counseling with a narcissist
54:00 Tepe double homicide
56:20 To a narcissist losing control is unacceptable and cruelty is the punishment
1:01:08 What can people in Monique Tepe’s situation protect themselves?
1:06:00 Making emotional abuse illegal
1:07:00 The Nick Reiner situation

I am from Germany and a certified psychologist. Whenever a channel operator in Germany claims that personality disorders arise because parents behaved badly and trauma occurred, I refer in the comments to Dr. Peter Salerno and his books and findings. I hope that these newer findings will be taken into account worldwide so that survivors of any kind of abuse can receive better therapeutic help.

Married a covert narcissist it took me 32 years to see the insidious toxic patterns of behavior. When I told him what I saw he discarded me. Decades of my life taken from me. For a time the grief was unbearable. Five years out of the fog and healing one day at a time.  I’m so happy I finally have clarity and the invisible chains he put on me are off freedom at last.

An intentional diminishing of others; mocking, ridiculing, putting them down, belittling them…and when there is a reaction from the victim the battle begins. Like a big dominance ritual all the time.

Scapegoating is Abuse. It's essential that we be clear about this and the danger of Scapegoating. Abuse is abuse -- regardless if you call it Narcissism or something else. Never tolerate abuse, disrespect or scapegoating, manipulation or gaslighting. Leave immediately.

YES THEY HAVE DIFFERENT BRAINS AS HE HAS SAID!

They weaponize your goodness and kindness against you!
I’ve even had so called Christians do this to me!

It’s intentional! Narcissists curb or hide their behavior when it suits them. I’ve watched them literally change in an instant when someone else walks into a room. Terrifying.

Dr Salerno, thank you for dedicating your career to Validating us! -the abused

The Narcisst knows exactly what their doing.  They plot, they scheme, they're strategic, they pick their victims, and they live to prey on their victims.
It's like a high to them!!
THERE PREDATORS!

“There is a percentage of society “ that is malignant. The real question is what does society do about it.

People don't want to believe there are psychopathologies that are intractable. They want to believe everyone can be "redeemed". It is simply not true. There are people who are wired to abuse and take advantage of others. You can't love it out of them or rationalize it away

I don't think you can recognize or identify these feigned abilities of narcissist's without having the lived experience of it.
The way they can exploit sympathy from others as the wounded victim in the very destruction they actually caused is something to behold!!
And for me personally,  reveals the spiritual element behind narcissism. It's all TRICKERY from day 0

I was thinking the other day how cruel it is to basically blame the mother for the behavior of a narcissist. The idea the mom was cold or distant or gave mixed signals etc. etc. I know it's blaming the childhood upbringing in general which is both parents, but I feel like that kind of guilt really hits mothers very hard. In general, we all sit around wondering what did we do to cause this person to act this way and it's such a traumatic burden then you realize, as I did, that there is no excuse for the behavior, then you realize that the behavior isn't just like some traumatized robot reacting with no control or recognition that their actions aren't acceptable. They are acutely aware of what they're doing and they feel powerful and superior over those who they can wage these abuses upon. We are viewed as weaker because they can get away with these things. Obviously everyone's experience is different with many parallels, but mine is one where once the final straw hit, that dark underbelly that my intuition had warned me over & over again about, became fully exposed... and that genie is never going to find its way back into the bottle. It's a life altering event.

It's just so disturbing to have to run and hide from an ex. To be hunted down for no reason other than saying NO to someone. I feel so much for the victims of these dangerous people. My heart breaks for anyone who gets entangled and stuck inside the web of a psycho or highly narcissistic person. It is such a crazy making experience. I am so thrilled that you are out there putting this information out there! The gentle people of the world who often become victims, need to stop being so understanding. To stop trying to work the person out. And just get away at the very first red flag. Just go. And don't turn back.

Neurological battery should be a crime. The terror of the verbal and mental assaults and threats damages and reorganizes your brain and nervous system especially on developing children. Parental alienation throws a whole other psychological construct in the mix and further lifelong damage to the child alone with the pathological parent with no empathetic witness to reality check with.

I had a  very deprived upbringing but I would never be so deliberately cruel to another human person

Another podcast I’ve listened to over and over. Such a valuable truth

Thank you for explaining this. This makes so much sense! Naming it is so important, not making excuses for the behavior, realize they are betting on that because it works for them.

Unfortunately, with coercive control , the burden of proof is placed on the victim, ( someone who is already worn down,  exhausted and living in survival mode from the abuse) and I think we all know just how insidious and covert coercive control  often is- it’s incredibly difficult to prove , especially when up against a well versed , charismatic master of darvo, - a dysfunctional and toxic magician

Thanks for these important conversations , for some , through these conversations , is the only validation they receive.