Absolutely love this. ❤️  I am 24 and I stopped going to the LDS church my freshman year of HS, was being bullied by the church kids in "seminary" or whatever it was called and was forced to go to the church ever since we where babys. You have helped me immensely with finding the right words and realizing I wasn't the only one that had these experiences. Never thought some one would also think of the "Mormon" church as cult like!

Aw he’s like the ultimate hype man for you. Clearly so proud and supportive and wants to amplify what you do. You got a good one.

Many people don't drink, Mormon or not, for many reasons. Never feel pressured into HAVING to drink.  Love your videos!

Teach your kids about critical thinking and questioning EVERYTHING. There should be no sacred cows - that is certain things you cannot question.  Apply critical thinking to EVERYTHING!

On a separate note, I was vegan for a while. Sadly, due to having Hoshimotos Thyroiditis Disease, veganism made me really sick. The body aches, cramping, mental fog, and pure exhaustion all disappeared when I went to a Gluten-free, sugar-free, high animal protein diet. My ethics rejected it but, after feeling so bad for so long, my body embraced it thoroughly. Veganism can be a fad and can be done for the wrong reasons. For me it was simply because of my love for animals but, if it's making someone sick then it's not the answer.

Kudos to your fiance and his thoughtful support of you. When I left the JWs 14ish years ago, it was my husband who taught me how to be a feminist. Early in our relationship I was extremely demure, over-apologetic, under-educated, and asked permission for absolutely everything. Now, I'm an activist for women and queer rights, and I'm an English Teacher in a high school. My favourite unit to teach is Propaganda,  to keep my students aware of cult strategies.

B -Behavior
I - Information
T - Thought
E - Emotion

As a gay man, I find most religious institutions to be high demand, in that I consider renouncing homosexuality to be a high demand. Trying to force people to renounce who they are as people is cult mentality to me. I have stories from my Church of Christ background I could tell.

My mother used Mormonism as an example when explaining what a cult is.

I am a life long Episcopalian. I like it because their philosophy is attraction rather than promotion. Most of our sermons " ponder, think about this or that. Everyone can have their own opinion. You dont hear about many ppl experiencing spiritual abuse.

As someone who is in a relationship with an immigrant, I relate to the "ignorance" of pop culture a lot because we spoke different languages growing up and our pop culture was very different (French Canadian + South Italian), but just like your partner, I got to share movies with my partner and experience them for the first time through his eyes. It's a really magical moment that I feel very lucky to experience!!

What a wonderful thing to see you 2 together speaking up in such an intelligent and open minded way. I really feel like you will help millions!

Oh my goodness!!! He’s so cute!! You guys make me so happy!! I love what you are doing with this channel. I was raised in the Pentecostal Church and so much of what I’m hearing on this channel is making me realize that I was also manipulated by my religion.

I’ve gone through so much, including being married to a man that was abusive and I would tell the leaders in my church and was told that I needed to pray that God would change MY heart! I was also rejected by my church, stripped of my leadership position when I finally threw him out and filed for divorce. I was vilified for finally creating healthy boundaries for myself and my children.

The hardest thing that I faced was 9-years ago my 17-year old son died tragically and I was constantly told that I was in sin because I had lost the joy of the Lord!! I mean, my son just died and I was judged for GRIEVING!!

Thankfully my new husband was supportive and encouraged me to go into counseling with a professional outside of the church. My counselor has helped me understand that my grief is completely normal and expected. That those around me that are struggling with my grief are 💯 wrong! My grief is my response to deep love and loss.

I still love the Lord and have found a safe place and a supportive group of Christian friends that have helped me heal. I still walk with the scars of being in an abusive marriage and the loss of my son. These friends have loved me in spite of my losses. I’ve found a church that accepts me and doesn’t judge me.

Your channel has forced me to confront my upbringing in a high demand religion. It’s hard to process these realities, but it’s helping me to understand why I am the way that I am. Thank you for providing a safe and loving place to face these realities.

I was 29 when I joined a different church.  I grew up in the mormon church.  My mother was raised in the mormon church and my dad Baptist.  We went to both churches but mostly mormon where my mother's huge family held all the important positions.  When my brothers and I reached 8 years old there was a lot of pressure on us and our dad to have us baptized.  He said, no.  We could choose when we became adults.  We were all baptized at 19 although we were not active.  All three of us are good people.  We are not mormon.  I am now 69 and born and raised in Bessemer/Birmingham, AL.  Over the years, little things happened.  We didn't have the internet as we do today.  First crack was watching PBS in the middle of the night while I was rocking my baby to sleep, former mormons were being interviewed and talked about mormons believing and aspiring to be gods in heaven.  I thought the former mormons were telling false stuff about the church.  There were no temples in the south at that time.  My family members either went to Utah, Washington DC or California to do temple work.  I thought all that happened there was baptism for the dead and weddings.  A few years later, my husband and I were traveling with our family and I was reading a book, called "Mormon Murders".  As I read the first half of the book that told of Hoffman manufacturing documents and selling them to the church, I was puzzled as to why the church would want to buy this stuff that seemed so very weird, like the Salamander letter.  When I reached a part in the book that described the ceremonies that took place in the church, I was dumbfounded and read it aloud to my husband.  My husband looked surprised and asked me if JS was a mason.  My husband is a mason and he said those are the secret rights of the masons.  That was the end of my belief.  I wondered around spiritually for a while.  Years later, a friend asked me what religion I believed in.  Episcopal but I was raised mormon.  He exclaimed oh year the church of JS the seer.  What???  Yeah, he used a seer stone to write the Book of Mormon.  Again, what?????   The internet was now a thing and I could look stuff up.  Stuff written and podcast by other former mormons.  All my life my favorite song at primary was, "The golden plates lay hidden, deep in the mountain side.  Until God found one faithful in whom he could confide.  A record made by Nephi, a Godly man of old.  Now in the Book of Mormon the story is retold."  It was a lie.  Because, of the teachings of that church, I watch podcast by people like you, to asure me I am on the right path and not cast into out darkness.  Make no mistake.  It is a cult!!! Thankfully, you have a boyfriend who helps keep you focused on truth and what is weird.  For years and even today, I have to research some things to understand their origins...the bible or the book of mormon.

Very interesting. As a 64-year old woman who searched for a long time and went into many different religions (Christianity, Buddhism, Sufism, etc), I agree with almost everything you said.

I learned a few things along my way. Underneath all these religions, when you take away all humans added, the message is the same: it is all about Love. True mystic experiences in all different religions seem remarkably similar: we are all connected, we are all the same, we are part of a higher power, whether you call it God or Allah or The Universe. There is no single way to reach spiritual enlightenment.

What I also came to understand is that man introduced "specialness" into almost all religions. "Only we know the way", "anyone not part of our religion is doomed" and all such nonsense. Any religion teaching specialness (and almost all do) is something to run away from. Specialness is always an added human layer. I was lucky enough to come across something that taught inclusivity, connectedness, non-judgement and the ultimate sameness of us all. It was self-study as well, so that helped.

I also came to see that without any spiritual connection you can be quite lost. I raised me two boys outside of religion and to be good humans, which they absolutely are. However, I had to witness deep depression in them both as they didn't have an anchor. If you believe in God or any higher power, you have somewhere to turn in times of crisis. Looking back, I may have chosen a low-demanding religion and raised them in that, but even then there is no guarantee.

We live in an imperfect world and no matter how we think we can make it perfect by our decisions, it just doesn't work. Making peace with its imperfections may be the very best thing to do.

I've just found your content and I am actually obsessed ❤ I can't believe you had 1k subs 8 months ago, and over 50k today Shalise! That shows how amazing your work is!

Here's another comment, beyond what I said earlier: you guys are going to make AWESOME parents! Your minds, hearts, and souls are in the right place, with clarity and compassion and wisdom in terms of your parenting plans. Your kids will be very blessed and fortunate to have you as parents. (On another note, kudos on being vegan and protecting the animals and the planet.) By the way, I e-mailed you two suggestions for guests for your show. They're amazing people, and so are you. You are a true source of light in today's darkness.

Your ideas about how to educate your future kids are the right ones. Communication teaches; hits and fear teach nothing. And please never end a discussion by saying "because I said so," no matter how tired you are from explaining the same subject over and over again.

I grew up in Utah as a non-mormon. I remember kids asking me directly which ward I belonged to, and then asking afterwards why I wasn't Mormon.😮 Even adults asked me this, as a child. So yes, terribly invasive. Upon asking why I wasn't Mormon, I'd be invited to join them at church. Once I kindly refused, that was the end of the conversation. No interest regarding who I was as a person. On the flipside, you're almost automatically friends with non-mormons.

In middle school friends of mine invited me to the Mormon summer camp, EFY. I attended!! And the pressure is real and effective! I almost gave testimony with everyone else, even though I didn't even want to partake in the religion. Wild. That keeps me grounded. I didn't do it because right as I was about to stand up, the testimony period was brought to a close, thank goodness.

After the camp, I asked my friends to please stop talking w me about their religion but they couldn't. Our friendship fizzled out. They were fun to hang out with but I didn't like the constant conversion attempts. It felt disrespectful.

I'm somewhat thankful for my experience as I am almost phobic of group think scenarios, where the main group excludes anyone who is different, often without a second thought towards the other person's perspective. Since leaving Utah, I am averse to joining the "majority" of any context. I largely float around, for better or worse.

Luckily I've found a partner who floats similarly, never really landing or staying in any one scene, keeping everyone at a bit of a distance. I like but also hate it.

Being in different places what really effs my head is thinking I was so different from Mormons but seeing how much my style, beauty standards, world view, sensitivity to sexism, has been influenced by Mormon culture. I clearly come from Utah.

Something I'm happy my children might be able to participate in is block parties, not limited by religion. There were block parties when I was a kid but as a non-mormon I never felt allowed. And even if I were allowed, why would I want to go if the whole time I was seen as a potential converted member?!

Thank you for helping me to further understand and breakdown my experience as well as the possible perspectives of the people who made me feel so excluded and one dimensional.

Shelise and Jonathan, I really really enjoyed this podcast. As I deconstruct or attempt to begin to deconstruct from being an active member of the LDS church for 40 years, it’s really helpful to get different perspectives and broaden my horizons by learning so much more that is outside the box. I look forward each week to a new episode. Sending love to you both.❤