markiplier going on about how he started an onlyfans only to then pull the train horn several times like a child is the funniest shit ive ever seen

Alternate title: Adoring fans gaslight gamer of the year Markiplier into believing there are issues with his audio while being held hostage in a chokehold

listening to Mark talk about how traditional media hates Youtubers because they don't need him after the trimpu of iron lung feels so much sweeter now than it did three years ago

Every time I fall asleep with YouTube on, I wake up to this in my watch history

Markiplier: I sure do hope he doesn't come around anymore.
Also Mark: pulls whistle.

For anyone who doesn't end up watching this video, here is a quick summary:
- Mark is gamer of the year
- Mark likes to talk
- The Emmy's are underwhelming
- HE'LL GET TO THE GAME IN A SECOND, YOU SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN
- The carpet was purple
- Referencing his WIRED interview, he explains that everyone does better when Mark is in them
- Everyone who watches the video gets taken hostage and choked while he asks you "Do you want to breathe?"

Markiplier: Against Customization
Also Markiplier: Customizes train.

Hear me out, Mark. NEXT MOVIE: CHOO CHOO CHARLES

I love how in most games, the character is always too slow, so you always have to match their damn pace. Eugene frekin' Barry Allen'd to the mission.

Mark: Let me get this straight… you want me to go into the woods and collect eight pages?
Mark: …
Mark: …


Mark: You son of a bitch, I’m in!

Mark: * talks for 10 minutes straight *
Charles waiting in the woods to finally kill Eugene: BITCH PLAY THE GAME

What I love about this game is that the people are so under-animated and clunky, but Charles is animated in AAA quality which makes it his appearances so much more terrifying.

Mark yelling "I'll be stealthy *NOW*" while unlocking chests is the most Markiplier stealth tactic.

Too loud, too quiet, Eugene, pickles, missing guns, missing paints, bob guns, Walter White, so much to talk about from this stream and I loved it. Thank you Gamer of the year, our pickle hero.

I can already invision the chaos that would come from Mark, Bob, and Wade playing a multiplayer version of this game, Wade spending scrap without saying anything and getting yelled at, the three not agreeing on a colour for the train and spam-repainting it for minutes on end, and the pure madness that would ensue when Charles appears

I know this video is full of comedy but "the subtitles are too loud" is just such a gem

Honestly, Mark would be so wholesomely egotistic if he HAD won an Emmy. Id expect nothing less than a full hour length stream of him just sitting in a chair next to his Emmy without saying a word and looking smugly at the camera. And we would love it.

Eugene: Falls off Train
Also Eugene: "Get some head shots!"

Let no one tell you that man isn't committed to the end.

Every stream consist of Mark gaslighting his own chat and also being gaslighted by the very same chat

1:01:40 imagine being one of these train mask guards and hearing Some Guy yelling “and I’m stealthy NOW” from somewhere in the tunnels