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Unmasking Autism as a High-Masking Autistic

Auticate with Chris & Debby

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Learn ways to gradually unmask autism in small, manageable steps. Here's to living more authentically as your unique autistic self!

🎭 Learning to unmask? Check out our 30 Day Unmasking Journal: https://www.auticate.com/offers/Hm2Fw...

UP NEXT: Late Autism Diagnosis: Nobody Told Me This...

#chrisanddebby #actuallyautistic #auticate

FROM THE VIDEO:
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NOTE: Every autistic person has different experiences. This video is based on research and studies, as well as my own experiences and those of other autistic people that have been shared with us. This isn't intended for diagnostic purposes but to help more people better understand the complexities of autism.

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🎥 WATCH MORE:
1. 30 Signs You're Masking Autism: 30 Signs You're Masking Autism
2. Stimming: Autism and Stimming: 10 Types of Autistic ...
3. Overlooked Signs: 5 Overlooked Signs of Autism
4. 10 Clues: 10 Clues You Might Be a High-Masking Autistic
5. The Best Book on Autism: 5 Takeaways From The Best Book On Autism
6. High-Masking Struggles: Why High Masking Autistics Struggle
7. Autism in Women: How To Spot Autism in High-Masking Women a...

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👇 FAVORITE STIM ITEMS (especially for ASD)
1. Nee Doh Nice Cubes: https://amzn.to/3RkRsoA -- "The BEST fidget gadget of all" - Chris
2. Ono Roller: https://endlss.io/sl/ono/auticate (use our coupon code CHRISANDDEBBY for 10% off!)

🎧 FAVORITE HEADPHONES/NOISE BLOCKERS
1. Soundcore Noise Canceling Headphones: https://amzn.to/3LMkWIn
2. Bose Noise Canceling Headphones: https://amzn.to/3tegj3t
3. Loops: https://loop-earplugs.sjv.io/auticate

👕 FAVORITE COMFY CLOTHES
https://kit.co/Auticate/autistic-frie...

💤 FAVORITE SLEEP ITEMS
1. Manta Sleep Masks: https://mantasleep.pxf.io/QYOXqz
2. Rest Duvet : https://bit.ly/3MIyg4v
3. Chongker (weighted red panda plushy - 15% + free shipping - code Deb15): https://bit.ly/4kCvuIE
4. Bearaby (weighted blankets): https://bearaby-us.pxf.io/3kA2Ky

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⭐️ ABOUT US:

I'm Chris and alongside Debby, my brilliant partner, we've traveled, taught kids and families, founded companies, and navigated the world while also balancing both autism and ADHD as a neurodiverse duo.

Whether it's better understanding the autistic mind, getting productivity tips for ADHDers, neurodiverse relationship hacks and travel tales, or just a peek into our everyday life, we've got a lot to share. So if you want to join a community that's all about improving lives, you're in the right place.

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20 Comments

@Auticate Creator 1 year ago (edited) Pinned

Let's try something new - sharing our unmasking goals!! ⤵ Drop one way of unmasking that you want to try in the comments and let's cheer each other on. It isn't easy to unmask but we're all here to support each other! 🎉🎉🎉 So share your goals, your wins, the challenges, or whatever you'd like!

@dagsogaard 1 year ago

I am somehow really happy that I am not the only one still getting irritated or nervous about what someone said to me 15 years ago

@hydrafall 1 year ago

uno reverse card: I have an interest in weather so everybody that tries to small-talk just gets my infodump

@HimynameisJermHicks 1 year ago

My problem is that I mask very well and so much so that people don't even think I have Autism, but then I get excruciatingly exhausted and unmask and people think I'm either rude or weird.

@TheXak662 1 year ago

I'm told often that when i try to explain things that I'm trying to create excuses and it makes my brain short out because I just want to be understood for why I do the things I do

@ellenfoster9764 1 year ago

My ex-husband was a hyper social person and I’ve always assumed that people put up with me because I came with my hubby, but really did not like me much. In my late 50’s, I joined a gardening group. I remember coming home to say, with total amazement, that I just met a bunch of people who LIKE talking about gardening and who actually like ME.

@sandravandok8638 1 year ago

Yesterday I was waiting for a friend in a coffee bar / Italian trattoria. They played really loud music. As I was the only customer and it anmoyed me, I asked the lady at the counter to turn down the music. She did - to my great relief and immense joy.

@allaya888 1 year ago

I have to say, discovering dark mode on my devices was a tremendous brain boost

@thestorytrackchannel 1 year ago

Now we just need the rest of the world to be as accepting as Debby.

@tamirundell8392 1 year ago

#30. Try relaxing with people you trust.
#29. Let yourself stim.
#28. Practice saying "No" without apologizing.
#27. Explore sensory-friendly clothes.
#26. Allow yourself to info-dump.
#25. Give yourself permission to leave.
#24. Don't force the small talk or practice how to shorten it.
#23. Experiment with eye contact.
#22. Plan sensory-friendly breaks.
#21. Pay attention to your feelings.
#20. Celebrate your quirks and special interests.
#19. Practice saying what you mean.
#18. Learn to guard your social battery.
#17. Try side-by-side conversations.
#16. Stop overexplaining.
#15. Give yourself more quiet.
#14. Get yourself sensory goodies that feel right.
#13. Create a sanctuary where you can fully unmask.
#12. Start advocating for accommodations.
#11. Set boundaries, especially when you need to preserve your energy.
#10. Allow yourself time to zone out.
#9. Practice saying "I need a minute" because processing takes time.
#8. Ask for one-on-one time when you need it.
#7. Challenge yourself to ruminate less.
#6. Practice making decisions that feel right for you.
#5. Recognize when you're masking.
#4. Accept that your social circle might get smaller.
#3. Communicate your needs clearly and directly.
#2. Embrace the awkward moments.
#1. Be your own biggest cheerleader.

Which of these feels the most doable for you? Leave a comment.

@alice.b99 1 year ago

I've been cutting out the tags from clothes since I learned how to use scissors and I'll never stop or apologize

@MWJellybeen 1 year ago

I know I already left a comment, but I have to share what my husband got me for Christmas this year. It was earlier in the year that I realized I was probably autistic and made the connection between my extreme crankiness, and sometimes meltdowns with not taking care of myself. I have trouble spending money on myself so my husband got me the best gifts. A weighted blanket, calmer ear plugs, several pairs of super comfy wool socks with loose ankles (I change my socks three times a day, five or more if they are crappy socks), and some mint tea because the smell calms me down. It made me feel so accepted and loved.

@OhiChicken 1 year ago

Thank you for being the How to ADHD of Autism. Your content does not make me feel like I'm a child, but rather a high functioning late-diagnosed adult who just wants some normal relevant advice...

@boursitocard 1 year ago

bro deserves an oscar at this point

@Kelly-wj7xd 1 year ago (edited)

When I'm not masking by smiling all the time, people think I am miserable when I am just resting my face. Remember as a child my mum telling me to smile or people would not like me. Now I realise that I don't have to have people like me. If they don't it's not my fault. And forcing eye contact another thing my mum told me was people think you are a lier if you don't look them in the eyes. Im so relieved to be able to look away now.

@maddies757 1 year ago (edited)

The emotion one hits home. When i was in therapy, my doctor would ask me how im feeling and i always said "i dont know" or "neutral" but what i probably meant was "uncomfortable" and "nervous". I started keeping a mood tracker recently and i realized that i wanted to put "happy" for every day since im scared to be unhappy (because, to me, if im unhappy that means i might be falling into depression which terrifies me since i had nonstop depression for 8 years straight which was traumatizing). By using the mood tracker, I learned that some days i would think in my head that i was happy when i was actually really stressed out and not taking care of my needs which would lead to burn out. Im still working on it, but i can recognize my emotions a little better now and see that i can have bad days without it meaning that i will feel bad forever.

@Autistic_Belugawhale 1 year ago (edited)

Thanks for making this video. I had a rough day at work. broke down in tears when i came home.
Being autistic isn't easy. I was recently diagnosed at 28. Just being able to finally get my diagnosis was a hell of a journey. Proud to be here, proud to be neurodivergent! ♾
🙂
I'm new here to the autistic community on youtube, so let me introduce myself briefly:

My Name is Daniel. I live in Switzerland. Excuse my wacky writing; English is not my native language.
If you want to chat with me about autism or your special interest i'm totally open.
My special interests are crafting wooden spoons , model building, mushrooms and reading books about autism or psychology in general. Nursing my Bonsai trees and gardening are also pretty important to me.

Nice to meet you guys! ☮😃

@talkstobees 1 year ago

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned Devon Price's book, "Unmasking Autism." For me, reading it when I realized that I'm Autistic in my mid-twenties was one of the most eye-opening experiences of my life. He talks about masking at length and offers actionable advice on how to dismantle your mask to uncover who is hiding underneath it. I recommend it to any high-masking Autistic person and look forward to reading his follow-up book, "Unmasking for Life!"

@dru2506 1 year ago

Tag less any piece of clothing was a game changer even before I was diagnosed.

@Skittenmeow 1 year ago

44F and not formally diagnosed yet.

The past year I have been consciously unmasking, and unconsciously unmasking. One of my closest friends has joined me in this endeavour. Enough so that I've heard "this dynamic makes me extremely uncomfortable" when neurotypicals have seen us interact.

I think my radical unmasking led to my relationship, the first in a decade, with someone I can be completely unmasked around without judgement.

He's neurodivergent too, but not necessarily autistic. It's surreal to have a relationship start completely unmasked.
I've never had that