The best Mario Kart. Good taste. The character doesn't really matter a ton in this game I'd say also. To make matters worse for the Tyrant also, this game is dominated by snaking and mini turbo boosts anyways, even when it comes to time trialing and pure speed. All of its strengths are practically useless. It seems you picked up on this, but drifting's main use with it isn't really about getting a MT as much as it is just a tool to not lose speed due to steering. It is truly awful, and the perfect challenge vehicle 😅 I don't know what the worst vehicle is in Wii off the top of my head, but maybe a manual Jetsetter run would be a good follow-up for this!

Also, FYI: The drift stat has to do with how much you can turn in drifts. Peach and Daisy's karts are close to being maxed out with it, and if you use them, you'll notice immediately that their control is practically overwhelming while drifting. They might actually be more challenging in some senses than Tyrant in that regard, until you get used to them. That said, they can actually mini turbo boost down sections like the Airship Fortress spiral. So I guess there's situational usage.

When you said "Dry Bomber with Dry Bones" and the image came onto my screen I was forcibly displaced into the most sentimental moments of my youth like that critic guy from Ratatouille

To explain rankings;
Mario Kart DS's rankings are based on a number of invisible factors. From placements in each race, to items you were hit by to even little things like "Times you hit a wall" or "Times you were off course without a boost item". I believe this same grading system would go into Mario Kart Wii. 7 and 8/8DX would adopt the ranking based on points which made 3-star ranks much easier.

And you will FIND Bowser, and you will FIND Bowser, and you will FIND Bowser...

Local tyrant learns that playing Bowser like Black Bull is the key to success

Fun Fact: All karts in the game have a hidden Mini-Turbo stat that determines how long of a boost they get when completing a drift, the Dry Bomber has the best mini-turbo in the game, which is what makes it so good combined with it's insane acceleration.

Meanwhile, the Tyrant is the worst, with an almost non-existant mini-turbo, it legitimately only lasts like 4-5 frames.
So not only does the Tyrant suffer from abysmal handling and acceleration, it's mini-turbos aren't even worth it for how little of a boost it gives you.

Character also does not affect mini-turbos, I tested with Dry Bones and Bowser in the Tyrant and both had the same mini-boost time. At least Dry Bones and the Tyrant is slightly less screwed over by off-road patches.

This thing might just be the worst kart in all of Mario Kart, the speed stat in this game hardly makes a difference when you can whip out mini-turbos on the fly, weight is the ONLY thing the Tyrant has an advantage at, which can MAYBE bump someone off the track. At least this kart is good if you want to challenge yourself, which you certainly did.

Boys let me tell you something about Dry Bones...something about Dry Bones

17:06 10/10 Homer Simpson impression!

Fesh Pince reference out of the gate... this is a man of limitless culture

Bowser: Let me tell you boys something about Princesses.

Something about Princesses.

3:25 poor Toad got walloped

Heavyweights used for the thumbnail. Okay... I'm fully onboard.

Beating Mario Kart DS with a kart that can't snake is like going to a Melee tournament and winning without wavedashing or L-cancelling.

Bowser: Mario you can drop DeAeaEaEaEaAe!

The sound Mario makes when he gets hit never fails to get a chuckle out of me

8:43 It takes into account your driving (like not hitting walls), and how much time you spend leading in 1st place.

Your thumbnail talent is unparalleled.

Double Dash should offer some variety in finding the worst duo.

8:12 - DK took that Blue Shell bullet for you lol.

You know, in the more recent Mario Kart titles, if the boo isn't able to steal an item, it'll at least come back with a mushroom as consolidation