Gotta get rid of that "I'm playing like a bitch" mind set. No one cares except for you and the guy who wants your loot. They will sit in that bush and wait for you all game, it's all fair in love and war. And this is war.
I think pushing every fight like you are is the right approach to learning the game fast, do this as much as possible while you are still new and once you learn the maps youll become a monster. Keep it up, veteran players love to watch new player experiences 👍
PvE is great for learning maps and tasks without getting bored. Pvp is just a rollercoaster of emotions cause you win some and you lose some. Winning gun fight getting revenge on bosses while fending off other player just hit different. It's a love hate kind of thing but pvp is just a thrill ride of fun. I also agree that this game has me jumping out of my seat 9 outta 10 times. Shit's always happening.