How to Build a Love That Lasts | John & Julie Gottman
The Gottman Institute
30,381 views
Drs. John and Julie Gottman, renowned relationship researchers and co-founders of the Gottman Method, explain what happens when connection, trust, intimacy, and emotional responsiveness begin to break down - and what couples can do to rebuild their relationship.
In this conversation, the Gottmans explore the science of love, relationships, conflict, communication, intimacy, and long-term connection. They explain why some couples recover from conflict while others become emotionally disconnected, and why the way couples fight may matter more than how often they fight.
They discuss the difference between anger and apathy, why anger can actually be a signal that there is still something worth repairing, and why indifference may be a more serious warning sign.
Please comment and subscribe so John and Julie bring you more videos.
Timestamps
Chapters
00:00 Falling Back in Love
04:32 Stress & Your Relationship
06:10 When Love Becomes Real
09:40 The Power of Empathy
12:30 Why We Hurt the Ones We Love
19:53 How to Make a Repair
21:31 How to Not Ruin Your Relationship
24:10 Sex & Intimacy
26:30 Can Men & Women Be Friends?
27:11 Is AI Cheating?
29:52 Staying Connected After 20 Years
You’ll also learn about:
Why couples fall out of love
How to reignite connection in a long-term relationship
The impact of stress on relationships
What happens when recurring arguments never get resolved
How repeated turning away from your partner can erode trust
Limerence and what happens when the honeymoon phase ends
How couples learn to love each other beyond idealization
Why empathy is essential for healthy relationships
How to listen without becoming defensive
Why trying to “fix” your partner can make things worse
Why we sometimes hurt the people we love
What happens when you're physiologically flooded during conflict
How to calm down before a difficult conversation
The Gottmans' five-step aftermath of a fight repair process
How to repair after relationship conflict
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and relationship breakdown
How to use a softened startup instead of criticism and defensiveness
The “I feel… about what… I need…” communication formula
How turning toward bids for connection strengthens relationships
Why noticing the positive moments matters
Sex and intimacy in long-term relationships
How couples can talk about differences in sexual desire
Whether AI relationships and AI companionship can be considered cheating
Why secrecy and context matter when discussing emotional and sexual boundaries
How couples can stay emotionally connected after 20 years or more together
Why rituals, shared experiences, novelty, and adventure can help couples maintain connection
If you're struggling with relationship problems, communication issues, recurring conflict, emotional disconnection, intimacy, or falling out of love, this conversation offers research-based relationship advice from two of the world's leading experts on couples and marriage.
The Gottman Method is a research-based approach to couples therapy developed from decades of research on relationships. The Gottmans' work focuses on helping couples understand conflict, strengthen friendship and intimacy, build trust, and create lasting relationships.
#JohnGottman #JulieGottman #GottmanMethod #Relationships #CouplesTherapy #RelationshipAdvice #MarriageAdvice #Love #Communication #Intimacy
*Disclaimer:* The content on this channel is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. Watching these videos does not establish a therapist-client relationship. If you're in crisis, seek help from a licensed professional or emergency services.
14 Comments
Pro tip from a pro audio guy:
The way you're recording your audio in this video is causing John's voice to only play in the left speaker and Julies voice to only play in the right. (This will only be obvious on headphones or speakers and will not be immediately obvious on cell phone or laptop speakers.) You'll need to look for panning options when you edit to pan your voices to center or look for a "sum to mono" option. Here at the gym with my earbuds in it's weird to hear John over my left shoulder and Julie over my right. You could call that a creative choice, but for those with only one earbud in, they would only hear one of you.
He does not like to talk, he does not like to go out or on vacations, he has mood swings, he is unmotivated, he procrastinates and does nothing all day. No interest is how this all makes me feel.
In the meantime I am doing it most of the work including contribute more financially.........I do not like to live in a dirty home with unpaid bills piling up....
How to Build a Love That Lasts | John & Julie Gottman
The Gottman Institute
30,381 views
Drs. John and Julie Gottman, renowned relationship researchers and co-founders of the Gottman Method, explain what happens when connection, trust, intimacy, and emotional responsiveness begin to break down - and what couples can do to rebuild their relationship.
In this conversation, the Gottmans explore the science of love, relationships, conflict, communication, intimacy, and long-term connection. They explain why some couples recover from conflict while others become emotionally disconnected, and why the way couples fight may matter more than how often they fight.
They discuss the difference between anger and apathy, why anger can actually be a signal that there is still something worth repairing, and why indifference may be a more serious warning sign.
Please comment and subscribe so John and Julie bring you more videos.
Timestamps
Chapters
00:00 Falling Back in Love
04:32 Stress & Your Relationship
06:10 When Love Becomes Real
09:40 The Power of Empathy
12:30 Why We Hurt the Ones We Love
19:53 How to Make a Repair
21:31 How to Not Ruin Your Relationship
24:10 Sex & Intimacy
26:30 Can Men & Women Be Friends?
27:11 Is AI Cheating?
29:52 Staying Connected After 20 Years
You’ll also learn about:
Why couples fall out of love
How to reignite connection in a long-term relationship
The impact of stress on relationships
What happens when recurring arguments never get resolved
How repeated turning away from your partner can erode trust
Limerence and what happens when the honeymoon phase ends
How couples learn to love each other beyond idealization
Why empathy is essential for healthy relationships
How to listen without becoming defensive
Why trying to “fix” your partner can make things worse
Why we sometimes hurt the people we love
What happens when you're physiologically flooded during conflict
How to calm down before a difficult conversation
The Gottmans' five-step aftermath of a fight repair process
How to repair after relationship conflict
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and relationship breakdown
How to use a softened startup instead of criticism and defensiveness
The “I feel… about what… I need…” communication formula
How turning toward bids for connection strengthens relationships
Why noticing the positive moments matters
Sex and intimacy in long-term relationships
How couples can talk about differences in sexual desire
Whether AI relationships and AI companionship can be considered cheating
Why secrecy and context matter when discussing emotional and sexual boundaries
How couples can stay emotionally connected after 20 years or more together
Why rituals, shared experiences, novelty, and adventure can help couples maintain connection
If you're struggling with relationship problems, communication issues, recurring conflict, emotional disconnection, intimacy, or falling out of love, this conversation offers research-based relationship advice from two of the world's leading experts on couples and marriage.
The Gottman Method is a research-based approach to couples therapy developed from decades of research on relationships. The Gottmans' work focuses on helping couples understand conflict, strengthen friendship and intimacy, build trust, and create lasting relationships.
#JohnGottman #JulieGottman #GottmanMethod #Relationships #CouplesTherapy #RelationshipAdvice #MarriageAdvice #Love #Communication #Intimacy
*Disclaimer:* The content on this channel is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. Watching these videos does not establish a therapist-client relationship. If you're in crisis, seek help from a licensed professional or emergency services.