I have lived in 3 countries. Settling back in nz is delightful

Everywhere feels like home.

I was a teen growing up in NZ in the eighties. Sadly, the NZ of old is now long gone. Most things feel different now, and it's all been intentional (all for nefarious reasons of which I won't bore you with). Having said that, no matter where you go in the world now esp in the West, it's all gradually changing and not for the better. Because you have been away for quite some time, you are in the position of looking from the outside in. Because of this, you can see the "changes" that the majority do not, cannot or simply refuse to see (Bread and circuses). An outsider you may be or feel, but in time it will most probably prove to be a blessing in disguise. Keep up the excellent observations and self awareness man.

I completely agree with you and totally understand where you’re coming from. I’m Australian, lived in Japan as a kid, a currently living in Europe and will be returning to Australia soon. The way I described it is of feeling ‘unmoored’. Nowhere feels like a natural home anymore, all the places I’ve lived have things I love and things I can’t stand. When I’m in one place, there are things I yearn for that are in the others.
The lesson for me, as someone who was always focussed on the future, is to just live in the now and enjoy the moment.

Imagine live in usa for 6 years then comeback to brazil, i cant control my mind i think im getting crazy

Yes , after I came back from Europe I couldnt beleive the attitude here which I will call backward , because that's what it is . I'd walk into some shops as a customer , and I'd get the distinct impression that it was a privilege for me to be in Their shop. So I found the old adage customer is king , was actually back too front. It has improved abit over the years . Other things I've found and still find disappointing.  I dont like INCOMPETENCE , low quality and low standards   apathy and indifference so it's been a hard road living here really.

I left England in 2004 and moved to NZ🇳🇿I returned to England in 2014 and 2016 it didn’t feel like home anymore so I returned to NZ🇳🇿in2017 to now

My British brother and his Australian wife have done the 'Ping Pong Pom' thing, moving back and forth between the UK and Oz since they were in their early twenties. (They're in their late 40s now.). They can't settle. They have enjoyed lots of experiences though, and the best of both worlds, albeit not at the same time!

My Kiwi husband and I (British), on the other hand, have remained living in the UK since we met in our mid twenties. We're in our early fifties.  We both feel this is our home, and we're both settled (with our children), but we've conversely missed out on ongoing global adventures. (We have travelled to many countries, but we've lived in the same country for over 25 years.)

Life is a series of trade-offs!  We're all winning and losing in different ways, throughout life.

Similarly, my perspective is that within each country and culture, there are trade-offs too: living in different countries, which my husband and I both experienced in the first half of our lives so far, showed us that we enjoyed different facets in the different countries we lived in, and we suffered different challenges also.

To quote Mark Manson, we each have to choose our shit sandwich! He frames challenges and decision-making in life as requiring an answer to the following question: for what am I prepared to suffer? What problems and challenges can I accept (and what kind of problems can I not tolerate)?

For the person whose self/soul is caught between more than one country and home, or who's nomadic by nature, then the lack of ever feeling fully settled will likely be the shit sandwich.  But framing this more positively, you've enjoyed the rewards of travel and the excitement and adventure of living in other countries/cultures.

I feel like an outcast,  I don’t feel any sense of belonging. and I’ve been in the same place almost all of my life. I’ve always felt like I am a tourist in a weird country.

I've also been in NZ for 4 yrs after 40 yrs in OZ. I don't think of myself as a kiwi/Maori because I don't feel it. I still call Australia home. I have always loved New Zealand. Don't expect too much from yourself.

If your constantly comparing of course you will never be happy, take the best the country has and work on it from there, every country has good, bad and different, your experience in different countries should add to your lifestyle anywhere you end up.

I'm going back to NZ next month after spending around 7 years in Greece, Turkey and Caucasus region. I'm not sure what to expect when I return and perhaps that is the best way to deal with it (expectations create more of a shock). My focus is on treating NZ like a new country and viewing myself as no longer a kiwi (or at least, no longer a typical kiwi).

Once you stop comparing, and just getting on with living, you then no longer pine for things elsewhere. You still have memories but of course being human we tend to remember things with rose colored glasses. Building new experiences and memories is the best course to take.

Everywhere changes.
We ere in the UK for nearly 5 years. Wanted to raise our kids as kiwis though, so don't regret coming back in 2003. But I missed London every day, I probably felt grief. Once we'd been back longer than we'd been away, I guess it calmed down a bit. I'd love to go back for a bit, but I know it has changed sooomuch. For a start, the food is now regarded as good, whereas it was pretty rubbish when we were there! My wife talks about us taking a trip, but I really don't want to see sights, I want to live there, choose place to live and explore. Use it as a base to explore wider. EDIT we have a lot of friends there, esp ex-kiwis, but I don't know if we'd slot back in, not having raised our kids together, seen the changes, lived the culture, etc.

Wow, having lived in 4 countries for 35 years, I’ve lived coming home - and settling down into a far smaller place than I had ever lived in before. The people are friendly and caring, and in the 3 years I’ve been back I haven’t missed much from overseas. I have NO plans to leave.

I don’t regret my experiences overseas; I really enjoyed myself. But I’ve seen and done a lot of what I wanted to (not all), and certainly don’t feel the need to revisit places.

BTW, you must’ve had many instances in Japan (say) where you didn’t know the song a crowd was singing… that’s part of the charm of going somewhere new. So why is it now an example of why you don’t fit in here and a contributory reason for wanting to leave?

Great video - thanks for sharing with us

Anyon3 rem3mb3r that programm3 in school in the 80s like hearing tests weqring headphones  sitting in a classroom of kids , and like memory tests matching gqmew. The Suzuki violin scholorship

At the end of the day, each person is entitled to be happy. It’s not the country that’s the problem, it is what it is. Countries will always evolve and change it’s just the way it is. No where is perfect. It all comes down to what feels comfortable. Some find nz too boring, some say it’s changed here and of course it has, that’s life. It all comes down to what ever spins your wheels. You can’t expect a kiwi to work like a Japanese person due to the huge population and the need to provide excellence or you don’t get work. Their is pitfalls to over population too! So everything has positives and negatives. Just be. If you don’t like New Zealand, go. If you like New Zealand stay. But don’t complain. Just get on with life and do you

I have lived in 6 countries. I feel it.

Egalitarian NZ is dead, financialisation has killed it. I don’t recognize the place anymore 😢