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as a non-binary individual I've gotta say that "just some person doin' stuff" is honestly a pretty compelling gender label

i'm a visual learner btw

Everyone asks "what is a woman" but nobody ever asks "how are women" 😔

Notice how it's never "what is a man", always "what is a woman"

As a cis woman, I've honestly asked myself this question many times. There was a period where I was actually flirting with the possibility of being non-binary. I had a pixie cut at the time and would sometimes get mistaken for a guy, and I didn't mind, and was even a little intrigued by it. But, one year while I was working at a summer school, this one kid kept calling me "he" even after she was corrected. I had several kids at this place tell me they weren't actually sure what my gender was until they heard me talk or learned my name, but this girl kept calling me "he" even after learning I was a "she." It kept happening, and I started getting irritated, but no matter how many times I told her I was a girl she kept misgendering me. It was at that point that I realized yes, I AM a woman. I can't explain why I'm a woman, but I am one. I came to the conclusion that I didn't mind being mistaken for a man, but I didn't like having my womanhood DENIED.

My (male) partner suggested to me that the reason I had that reaction was because being a woman/girl has shaped so much of what I've experienced in life and how I've moved through society, and that not being acknowledged as a woman meant that all that baggage was also not being acknowledged. The sexism, the harassment, the expectations for how I should be. The constant need to justify myself as a woman/girl even when I didn't "act" like one and didn't like what girls were "supposed" to like.

Conservatives act like having more open/fluid definitions of gender is confusing young people and making them think they're something they're not. But for me, my gender questioning was born out of confusion resulting from a rigid gender binary, and the fact that I was TRYING to just be who I was, as someone assigned female at birth and who saw themself as female, only to be treated like I wasn't doing it right and wasn't "really" a girl.

My response: I’ll define woman if you first define sandwich, in a way that includes all things we agree are sandwiches and excludes all things we don’t. Whatever your definition, now challenge it with the following:
-would your definition include burgers and subs (those are generally agreed to be sandwiches)
-what about hotdogs (generally not considered a sandwich)
-how about open-faced sandwiches, yes? Then what about pizza?
Taxonomy is a non exact art, and is better approached as a fuzzy concept with room for movement at the edges. I see questions of sex and gender the same way. Even exclusively focusing on the genetic/medical aspects of femaleness contains a ton more nuance than “I stopped learning biology in the third grade” Shapiro acknowledges.

When I was child I used to get mistaken for a girl, and remember feeling delighted. As a young adult I got given the title of honourary woman by my women friends. Have been harassed by men, in the work place, for apparently acting like a woman. Even went to the women's breast cancer clinic, because there isn't a gender neutral option, and had the oncologist reassure me men get breast cancer too.

But when asked despite the sexist attitudes of men, or connection with women. I know I'm not a women. Guess it's sometimes something you just know that you are or not. Despite how much evedence there is to the contrary.

Asking "what is a woman?" is question very similar to "what is the self?"

Externally, I use the label "trans woman", internally I use the label "who fucking cares?"

"Ask any geneticist."

Every geneticist: "Sex determination is more complex than chromosomes."

I was recently asked to define woman, and it reminds me of a time when I was a kid where I was challenged by a dickhead to show them a "karate kick." I said there is no "karate" kick, there are just kicks, and there are many ways to kick. They scoffed, thinking me an idiot no doubt. But gender is basically that. There are certain recognisable styles but there are so many ways to express a gender, to demand only one specific one is, to my mind, to complete miss the point. The thing I never understood when I thought I was cis is that it's possible to feel active joy in one's gender. Most people who never have to think about their gender I think don't often learn how to have fun with it in the same way you can if you're completely ignoring the "rules."

As a conservative, I want to thank you Lily for making this video. It was surprisingly approachable and I was able to watch through the entire thing. For the first time, I can grasp the left side without feeling lost. I will definitely share this with my friends so that we can have a conversation.

I'm a cis man, but a lot of this really resonates with me. Something I've noticed looking back is that just about nobody whose opinion of me was drastically affected by my gender ended up being a positive influence on my life, and that's true not only for the ones who thought it was a strike against me but also the ones who thought it was a point in my favor. I recognize that in a patriarchal system, I'm going to run into more of the latter and less of the former than a hypothetical otherwise-identical-to-me woman would, but it's been enough to leave me a little suspicious of anybody who cares more about my gender than I do.

I once took a very interesting, semester-long Jewish studies class, taught by a Jewish woman, called "Who Is A Jew?" in which the titular question was never answered.  I feel similar vibes from the "define woman" conversation.

“Modern gender demands an underclass.”
Wow, I’ve never actually thought about this before, but this makes a lot of sense. I’ve really been enjoying watching your videos/exploring opinions and ideologies I’d never thought to consider. Thanks for your content :)

I think this video is pretty good, but I have an idea of how to finally solve the problem of defining women. If someone's name starts with f or w, then she's a woman, and if the name starts with m he's a guy. Everyone else can chose between being agender or non binary.

As a cis male, this question resonates a LOT with me. I have many times wondered what is even considered feminine or masculine in the same vain, only being able to think of very stereotypical answers like “big muscles punch punch punch.” Even for me, I feel solid in my identity as a male, but can’t give any solid reasons for it other than that’s how I’ve been called at birth and I generally look like a “boy”. But do I ACT like a “boy”? I have no clue. I’m just a person living their life, and I use the pronouns of he/him simply because it’s easiest that way and that’s what I’m used to.

And honestly, this very lax view of things makes it both really easy and also really hard for me relate to transgender people. Like on one hand, I could never understand what it feels like to be a man in a woman’s body or vice versa because there’s nothing about me that feels inherently male or female. It’s nearly impossible to define the two, so how could I “feel” like a man or a woman. It’s super weird too because you’d think I’d identify as non-binary, but even my username shows that being male is a part of my identity. It just feels right? Or maybe I just follow what society told me? The question is just so odd because my brain contradicts itself. I know I am male, but why? I guess in that way I can COMPLETELY relate because you just kindof… know.

Very cool question to go over, I definitely agree with the idea that it’s not really worth trying to find an answer. Like you said, people can be the same gender for completely different reasons. And I guess for me, I don’t even know the reasons.

Finally someone with a clear answer. Ever since my English teacher said that "woman" was socially constructed, I've been questioning my gender since. If we construct what it means to be a woman, why should we tell someone they are not one? Women of all kinds are beautiful

"For every complicated question, there is a simple easy to understand wrong answer."