Today marks 2 week since I lost my mom… and it still doesn’t feel real. A part of me is gone forever. A part of me died the day she left. The pain is something I can’t even put into words. It’s heavy, it’s constant, and it doesn’t let me breathe the same way anymore. My mom was my everything. She was the reason I kept pushing, the reason I chased my dreams. She believed in me in a way no one else ever could. I still remember her telling me she wanted me to reach the top… and now I’m about to take steps toward that life, but she’s not here to see it. That breaks me in ways I can’t explain. The last moment I had with her will stay with me forever. I was crying, telling her to fight, to not give up… and she looked at me and said, “What is it to fight about?” I didn’t understand it then, and maybe I still don’t… but those words echo in my mind every single day. She was the kindest soul I’ve ever known. Not just because she was my mom, but because that’s who she truly was. Pure, loving, selfless. Anyone who met her felt it. Now I’m here trying to be strong, trying to hold myself together for her, for my siblings… but the truth is, I feel broken beyond repair. There’s a void in my heart that can never be filled. I feel lost, like I’m walking through life without a part of my soul. But even in this pain, I pray. I pray that Allah grants her the highest place in Jannah. I pray that He gives me and my family the strength to honor her, to live in a way that makes her proud, to give sadaqatul jariyah in her name and bring light to her grave.Mom, I love you more than words will ever be able to express. I hope you knew that. I hope you still feel it.
Thank you for the vulnerability, thank you for the openess. May Allah grant mom janat firdous. May Allah strengthen you and your family during this very trying period. Inalilahi wa Inailahi rajoon
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