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8 Embryo Transfers, 6 Years of Infertility, and the IVF Story That Finally Worked | ft. Abbe Feder

Sasha Hakman MD

16,478 views

Can you really get pregnant after seven failed embryo transfers? What does it take to keep going when nothing seems to work?
In this episode, I sit down with Abbe Feder to talk about one of the most intense fertility journeys I’ve ever heard. After 6 years of trying to conceive, 8 embryo transfers, a miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy, and multiple failed IVF cycles, Abby finally got her miracle… twins.
But this conversation goes far beyond just the outcome.
We break down what unexplained infertility actually means, why IVF doesn’t always work even when everything looks “perfect,” and the emotional toll that no one prepares you for. Abbe shares the mindset shifts that helped her keep going, the financial realities of fertility treatment, and the truth about resilience during infertility.
We also talk about the hardest moments along the way, including pregnancy loss, the waiting, the uncertainty, and the constant cycle of hope and disappointment. Abbe now helps women navigate infertility through coaching, and her ability to put feelings into words will make you feel seen in a way that’s hard to explain.
If you’re going through infertility, considering IVF, or supporting someone who is, this episode will change how you think about the journey.
And if nothing else, I hope it reminds you that you’re not alone.
Abbe Feder is a fertility coach and founder of Encircle Fertility. After experiencing 6 years of unexplained infertility, multiple IVF cycles, pregnancy loss, and ultimately having twins, Abbe now helps women navigate the emotional and mental challenges of infertility. Her work focuses on normalizing the experience and supporting women through one of the most difficult journeys of their lives.

Follow Abbe
Instagram: @abbefeder @encirclefertility
Website:https://www.incirclefertility.com/_____

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20 Comments

@AngelY1178 3 months ago

I have had 3 failed embryo transfers so far. It is so hard financially - we also don't have fertility coverage - and it is so discouraging along the way. Thank you for sharing your story so we can see a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel.

@Nicole-41520 5 months ago

I just had a miscarriage at 6 weeks 😢 I chose to take the medication but ugh! The pain and cramps are the worst. I did a D&C a few years ago and it was much easier.. This was through IVF and unfortunately it’ll only be our one chance because we can’t afford it again.😞 These videos help me understand what I’m going through and I’m not alone on this journey. ❤

@AlbaSoto0424 3 months ago

What a great conversation thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate your story 💕

@kelseydesrosier5661 5 months ago

I cried so much listening to this 😢It makes me so sad that there are people who look like they should be able to get pregnant easily but have multiple failed transfers. I know someone who's doctor told her she would 100% be pregnant with the first transfer, but then had four failed transfers and 2 failed IUIs :(

@Thr3deee 3 months ago

This was a great conversation!

@nazikiwe8259 1 month ago

Thank you for sharing your journey. At age 42 I just completed my 4th IVF stim cycle. The 1st three produced no euploid embryos. I changed fertility clinics after being mistreated at the first. Both my tubes are blocked and I have adenomyosis. It seems all odds are against me. My partner’s sperm tested fine. It’s a long, hard journey and does build resilience.

@Whiteboard7 5 months ago

The convo felt so warm. My takeaways- one can have grief and joy at the same time, “when something happens you’ll be the first to know” for those asking about a pregnancy. My cycle was cancelled yesterday and lots of talks about donors. I’m definitely grieving. Challenging to bc we have to travel to another country for IVF. And yes- I never ever thought it would be me but I am blaming my body and I’m angry at gynos who never gave me a heads up on anything. When I was in my late 20s one gyno asked me what are you waiting onnn? She’s an old lady so she had all the old lady type vibes lol - no chill. But they never explained anything. My mind just was like - I have no partner, what’s wrong with them. And yes, I was also upset at my doctor who with an AMH of 0.009 did not say to go straight to IVF. I’m upset at my mentor who told me in my early 20s that I can wait bc she had hers at 42. That’s not the average woman. Sigh. Oh - can you’ll explain some of the acronyms or terms for others? Most I got but some I didn’t but I imagine newbies won’t get some. A pop up on the screen could work. Thanks for this talk and congrats.

@rosabates2 5 months ago

Thank you for sharing your story and creating this video!

@jolypolly 3 months ago

What an amazing story!....Lady you are sooooo resilient.....Thanks for sharing!😊

@VictoriaEm24 5 months ago

It’s INSANE to me that she aborted her third baby after everything she went through. Why?? Because of the risk of miscarrying?? That can happen regardless! She decided to kill one of them instead. Selfish and sickening. That ruined the whole interview.

@21truthbetold 5 months ago

After everything she went through I can’t believe she had the reduction. I mean I understand why but if she was doing well she should have had her triplets.

@AshleySutton92 4 months ago

I think we all are a little off put by the casualness of this conversation. The reduction was discussed very flippantly. I really understand the difficult position she was in and can't say I know how I would react in her shoes knowing the risk of losing all three but maaaannnn.... There wasn't a sense of sadness or remorse, this is another reason IVF is so polarizing. It diminishes the value of life SOME times. (Going through IVF after 8 years unexplained infertility myself, 3 natural conceptions; chemical, blighted ovum, ectopic. Two laparoscopies, 2 GIFT procedures, 1 egg retrieval with 10 embryos not pgta tested, three transfers, 2 failed to implant and one chemical). So I'm staring down the barrel of a gnarly journey myself.

@CharlieJane92 5 months ago

I had severe scaring after a D&C (post IVF miscarriage) and now am having multiple hysteroscopies with resectioning. So many women end up like me, and scaring is often noted as a 1-2% risk. I think the percentages are much higher.

@MahsheedParsons 4 months ago

I understand. I’ve had 5 miscarriages. 4 natural and one with IVF. And no issues other than they say age.🙄

@KaylasFashions 5 months ago

I just had my first failed FET. I only have 2 "fair" embryos left. These videos give me hope for my future.

@user-f5r6p 5 months ago

I was put on Clomid for unexplained infertility, but I didn't take it. Around 5 doctors later, Dr. Georgiana Jones said I had no hormonal problems. She performed a hysteroscopy and removed a polyp. I had children after that. Make sure you test your tubes with the dye test and have a hysteroscopy to see if the uterus is really clear before trying IVF or any other procedure. You may even get pregnant the natural way like I did.

@jannater28 5 months ago

I’m soo shocked after such a struggle to have children she would abort a healthy baby 😭

@saramaree1959 5 months ago

For some people it just has time bad luck, others get oregano first cycle every time!

@CryptographyFan 3 months ago

I’m in my first ever IVF Cycle. Egg retrieval tomorrow. What helps me is that I deeply feel that if it’s meant to be it will happen. And if it’s not - it won’t. I found that acceptance of any outcome (or most) helps my mental state and manage expectations. I’m just grateful that at 41 I can try this. But in regards the implantation I really now see how live birth is truly still a miracle, even if you help it a bit with hormones and manipulation.