Someone who stands up to narcissism sees through manipulative behavior and refuses to engage in it.

Covert Narcs feel superior to overt Narcs, while in fact being much worse than them.

Equal in madness lesser in achievement 🙃.

Overt Narcs make me laugh, or cringe. Covert Narcs make me sick 🤢...

As soon as I detect someone is a narcissist they're out of my life by the next day. I only get one life, fuck the narcissists they ain't got no strings on this life.

As someone with disorganized attachment, I highly realate to this, basically unconsolidated self identity.

I believe not to get distracted in revenge games ,as your entering in to the double think arena of self deception.

Very interesting. I had never heard this described before. Thx!

Narcs hack your imagination and creativity then force you to create the life they want you to live. So if you suddenly want to end your life, he wants you ded. W T F is this alien sci fi bullshit on this planet.

I like him already 0:23

Citations matter. Thank you for stating that. I noticed you cite regularly. That people don't, the ones who claim their gentleness against the "other," shows their interiority in a way that they should self-examine. With Respect. As always.

I will be Sam Vaknin for Halloween

Los narcisistas encubiertos son mucho más deleznables, juegan haciéndose las víctimas, utilizan y se aprovechan de la bondad de otros con mucha sutileza, envidian y no se alegran de logros ajenos. Su energía tóxica muy camuflada..., a diferencia de los narcisistas "clásicos" en los cuáles es muy fácil de detectar.
Los narcisistas encubiertos tienen aún menos empatía, al igual que los psicópatas...

I would like to say narcissism is a pathology that is predispositioned from epigenetics and environment. You can have one without the other. And it's birthed from denying extreme toxic shame from a very young age usually inherited from a narcissist family dynamic or extreme neglect but can be from many other things too.

wow i never thought of the connection between not accepting well-meaning or important growth-oriented criticism
with someone who is self-hating and wants to keep it that way

in a way, they must like hearing the criticism because then they get to prove to themselves over and over how they can't live up to who someone else thinks they are or expects them to want to be in order to create win-win situations for both people.

If at first you don't succeed, try and try aga.... wait.  I never tried to begin with. Even though i'll probably be successfull, i don't deserve. And that makes me feel good about myself.

Oh... I read Who is the antichrist? 😂

I remember saying to a covert narcissist family member, "Grow up!"  I understood intuitively that they were self sabotaging and acting helpless as a way to get attention and also absolve themselves of any responsibility. I wouldn't stand for it. I insisted this person take responsibility, take action and be decisive.

This is related to Karen Horney's theory of overvalued and devalued neurotic strategies.

A particularly self centered drinking buddy of mine found my no ego mentality utterly mystifying. The difference between us was while he jumped ship after just one day in the merchant marine, I had spent three years crewing aboard nuclear submarines. Then subsequently I went on to spend 8 more years as an AB aboard merchant vessels. But all this time he remained a frustrated inventor attempting to find someone to invest in his absurd ski grinding machine while he continued to sponge off of his girlfriend.

Something I don't hear much about is the idea that our minds/brains are actively seeking things to identify with. This identity seeking behaviour, energy, whatever you call it seems to be what results in us identifying with likes/dislikes, opinions, beliefs, a personality, even the mind identifying with the body, an evolutionarily adaptive thing to do. We say, this is me, this is mine. I associate this identity seeking with the Ego, along with it being the seat of consciousness or awareness. But from direct experience of just resting in that pure awareness, we can detatch from what we identify with, even watch the identity seeking attempting to work, see through it. Our self, personality then seen as a mask (persona), a costume, a part we play.

Ok, so the point I'm getting to is that, from this perspective, I'd suggest that what gets disrupted and results in narcissism is the act of forming this mask. The lack of a self that Prof. Vaknin suggests of narcissists, the failure to form one as a result of abuse etc. at critical developmental stages in childhood, hinges on a deeper truth, that there is no abiding self, as in Buddhism and other non-dual systems. Maybe we need to form an identity before seeing through it as a mental construct, as an idea, so narcissists can feel lost in the nothingness at their core, as Sam has said, desperately grasping to form any sort of core identity. Couldn't that nothingness just be an awareness of the void? And isn't that void illuminated by pure awareness or consciousness, as the observer? Sitting in that state, passively observing what is arising in awareness feels peaceful, silent, contented but luminous to me, the psychic energy now not lost in identity formation, but lighting up the scene. One might even go as far as to say resting in our true nature or deepest nature, one without an abiding self. Ultimately, even dropping identification with the awareness, with the self as observer.

you can actually get get rid of a narc or covert narc, by posing as new supply, then contacting all his supply and letting them know the most humiliating secrets the narc told you about them. like this you either gather healthy companions or harvest flying monkeys, which now are eternally loyal to you,  especially since you care about them less than the narcissist.
If you do it right, even the narcissist will join your fan club, and eternally praise you for having humiliated him.